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hi there fromdebal,
Your story is quite similar to my story and many others I have read on here. I went through my own personal struggles in the fall of 2021, which led me to my first sleepless night. After a couple of those, pure panic set in. I went to the doctor only to start a long fight or (search)for a cure. They put me on quite a few different benzos over the course of 4 months or so, no help worth talking about. Next came the sleeping pills only 2-3 hours of sleep ave. on them. The real terrible thing about them is that I started to believe I would never be able to sleep without them again. I was really lost there. I lost faith and or confidence in my doctors advice on sleep and started combing through Martin Reed and Daniel Ericson material. Through the next few months I quit the pills (with all the doubt and fear and physical junk that came with that). I did sleep eventually much to my pleasant surprise, but all is not perfect in my world yet,(never will be, right?) While I considered it a awesome victory to be sleeping as much without pills as on them, I still struggled. So now I am enrolled in Martins course and trying to deal with the anxiety over sleep and the lack of. I am sure this is quite true for me and many others out there (maybe you too) that the quest and the search for sleep is what keeps this monster fed. The answer might lie in the simple but (not so easy to do) feat of living our lives as we would if our sleep was better, and training our minds that really there is nothing to fear here. I truly feel your fear and frustration, I am going through the same thing (3 hours of sleep last night) but I take personal victories over not letting this totally ruining the next day. I guess I am rambling on just wanted you to know you are not alone out there. best wishes davidHi Martin,
Thanks for the reply. Yes I think I am finding it hard not to try to solve my sleep problem. I do believe that is why i find myself nodding off before my sleep window ,because i am not “trying to” or anticipating to sleep. When i practice AWAKE i do try to accept and embrace being awake but my mind is trying to skip ahead and reasons, that if i except being awake therefore i should relax hence sleep should follow. I see that i am putting the wrong expectations on this activity … I do seriously believe that the anxiety, the conditioned arousal is my biggest hurdle. Also as a side question, weeks ago before i started your course i would experiment with different sleep times etc. I only was and still am getting about 4 hours sleep ave. but there where stretches where i felt i had a better run going. If i could take a 15-20 minute nap in the morning (if conditions and schedule allowed) its almost like my fear of sleep was reduced and it usually made it easier to sleep that night. The problem was that i always didnt or couldnt nap and then that could create anxiety.? any thoughts? thanks in advance Davidamanda , pretty much am going through the same things at nite. the house is finally quiet and i am tired and supposed to sleep but the anxiety overides my sleepiness ,so i sit lay walk whatever . i also try to do (fun) activities but i have no energy left from a long day. this is the hardest thing i have ever been through in my life ,please know you are not the only one going through this. i will be waiting to see if anyone can offer us some hope, best of wishes. allen
