Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
i hear ya; it’s tough for me when my husband is at work, too. feeling isolated sucks. often when i’m exhausted i don’t think i’ll have the energy to do this or that but i always surprise myself and doing whatever it is actually energizes me. i don’t let the lack of sleep keep me from doing what i want.
yes, you will come through – i know you can do it!
anytime. i don’t get anxious unless i look at the clock and/or start thinking about how much sleep i’m potentially missing, and then it’s all downhill from there. (i’m pretty sure that’s how i ended up worrying about sleeping – too much thinking about time and hours and clocks, lol.)
everybody has tough nights and it’s hard to shake them off. i’m glad you went to the park and the jacuzzi. is there anything else that you might like to do?
YES! last night was very challenging. are sunday nights stressful for you? they are for a lot of people. usually my bad nights are temperature related – either i’m just too hot or my bedroom is too hot. i can fall asleep but it’s more like dozing and i keep waking up; sometimes i’ll even wake up on top of the covers. i used to think it was caused by going to bed too early but even if i wait until i’m thoroughly falling-down asleep, if it’s too hot in my bedroom i’ll be tossing and turning an hour later. does that sound like your frustrating nights?
hey, mira – i’m in the same boat and i’ve done most of those things, too. it’s really frustrating because i don’t know what to do, either. if i get myself out of bed when i don’t feel sleepy, go do something else, and get back in bed only when sleepy, then i do fall asleep until 6 but i’m exhausted because it’s so late when i finally do get back in bed (i think i fell asleep for good at 1 am this morning).
a couple of things that i’ve noticed about myself that might help you – i have trouble if i’m too hot OR too cold, and sometimes i need a little snack (like a tablespoon of peanut butter) to help myself fall back asleep.
yes, that is wonderful advice! and i realized that i woke up early because i’d been thinking about someone who recently passed away, so that silenced the inner critic. have a good day!
that last part – “if i sleep it’s ok, if not then it’s also ok, i will be able to deal with it” – is very reassuring to me and what i’d like to work on
maybe you’re just worried about your work performance?i’ve been doing that for years – if i know that i have to get up at 6 for work, i’ll wake up early and lie there waiting for the alarm to go off. sometimes i can fall back asleep but most of the time i can’t. i’d really like to learn how, though, lol. i don’t think i have an iron deficiency; i think i just subconsciously worry about oversleeping and being late (the same thing happens when i have to get up early to go to the airport, and i know a lot of people who do this). i don’t have this problem when i don’t have anywhere to be in the early morning.
i’m starting to realize that there’s actually very little that we can control when it comes to being on time. say you woke up exactly at 6 and got ready for work in plenty of time to leave by 7 (or whenever you have to leave). you leave your house right on time only to get stuck in a traffic jam (it’s happened to me a bunch of times, and always on “perfect” mornings, lol). there’s nothing you can do about it except go with the flow. (i’m not trying to make you worried about traffic jams; i just want you to see that things often don’t go according to plan.) this is tough for me to put into practice and i’m still struggling with it because part of me always wants to be in control, but i hope that this will help you a little bit
i don’t know if this is true for you, richie, but i’m noticing that i’ve recently become very hard on myself when it comes to sleep. last night, i got 5 solid hours, which is actually pretty good by a lot of standards (and i feel okay); however, i believe that i “should” have slept longer since i didn’t have to get up early this morning and at this moment it’s tough for me to just let it go even though the night is over and gone. i think it’s this “should” mentality that has contributed the most to the recent sleep anxiety that i’ve been experiencing; i get so critical of myself now even though i’ve always had some nights that were a little shorter than others.
i know what you mean about not wanting to reassure yourself with self-talk, and that’s not really for me, either. but sometimes i’ll find something that really challenges my way of thinking and opens my mind a little more so when undesirable thoughts come up i can deal with them and let them go. lately, when i’ve had anxious thoughts about sleep, my first reaction has always been to stuff them down in hopes that they’d go away. i’m learning that that doesn’t work, lol, so now i’m going to try saying, “i’m having anxious thoughts about sleep right now and that’s perfectly okay.” thoughts are just thoughts, just impulses; the trouble is when we get attached to them and give them meaning.
i’m the same way – i’ve been afraid to talk about it, too, because i don’t want to think about it, but talking about it and seeing that i’m not alone is actually the most helpful thing for me. also, i’ve been telling myself for the past couple of nights that “whatever happens, happens.” even saying that to myself right now is incredibly relaxing, lol. i read somewhere that anxiety is the inability to trust in the natural flow and process of life, so i’m working on letting go of whatever is out of my control (including sleep). it’s hard but i feel minutely less anxious. have you ever heard of louise hay? she had a lot of good advice about letting go, and i like to listen to her affirmations on my more-anxious days.
is that every night? on weekdays i always wake up right around 5, and i think it’s because one of my neighbors is slamming his car door loudly when he leaves for work even though i don’t consciously hear it. this doesn’t happen on weekends, so that’s why i think it’s neighbor/work related. do you have loud neighbors?
i get anxious and nauseous, too, but i’m learning that the nil-sleep nights are generally a product of me trying too hard to force myself to sleep, i.e. tossing and turning and worrying in bed all night. i’m also learning that the next-day anxiety is 100% normal and not anything to do with me individually (i was pretty worried about that, which just made me more anxious). so now when i’m in bed and feel myself getting frustrated, i’ll go downstairs and work on a craft project for a while, then go back upstairs and fall asleep for a few hours. it’s not a perfect night but definitely an improvement over tossing and turning. i used to try reading but that’s not as relaxing as doing something productive with my hands. maybe crafts aren’t your thing but i’m sure there’s something manual and creative that you can do to help relax your brain.
also, i have to remind myself that i’ve always had tough nights and always will have tough nights, and i generally do okay the next day. i’ve also started telling myself, “whatever happens, happens.” there’s so much that’s out of our control (including sleep) so sometimes it’s easier to just accept it instead of trying to fight it.
you’re definitely not alone. i’ve never been one to sleep 8 hours, either, unless i’m sick – i generally get about 6-7 solid hours and feel well rested – but i had some anxiety issues a few months ago and they kept me awake for a few nights, which meant that i then started obsessing/worrying about sleeping (i created a new idea in my mind that if i didn’t get 8 hours then the night was a failure, and that’s given me a lot of unnecessary trouble). the initial anxiety is gone but the sleep anxiety shows up after i’ve had a tough night because i started to believe that the tough night meant that i was a defective sleeper or wasn’t trying hard enough.
however, i’m starting to remember how i was pre-anxiety – i’ve never been an 8-hour sleeper, i’ve always had tough nights and i’ve always gotten through the next day okay. it’s probably the same for you, right?
