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Hi Priyanka –
What week are you in for this program? I had a really hard time around weeks 2 and 3. Once I got to week 5, I decided to go back and do the prior weeks again which helped me.Now, I’m sleeping pretty well, between 6 – 7 hours. I continue to take trazodone but have cut the dose in half. I also started an anti-depressant in December and have never been comfortable on it, so I have slowly been coming off it since the beginning of March. I’m not fond of being on meds but feel that I’ll continue the trazodone until I’m off the SSRI and then work on getting off of that too.
All this to say that my sleep has improved but I think it’s less to do with meds and more to do with the other ways I’ve been handling my anxiety. Reducing the struggle around difficult thoughts and feeling including physical symptoms has helped me the most with my sleep journey. The health anxiety I experience is my biggest hurdle but I’ve had success with accepting it and being super kind to myself about it. I let myself focus on it but then like the passing clouds exercise I let the thoughts pass by and remind myself that my body will let me know when I have to help it.
My A-HA moment back in February where I stopped focusing on the kind of sleep I was having and looked at my nights as my sleep journey really helped me. I decided to look at my bed as my safe haven and look forward to the adventure of sleep no matter where it took me. I’ve been remembering so many more dreams now and most of them are pleasant. Personally I really dislike getting out of bed when I’m awake and I prefer to concentrate on how comfortable I am in my bed even while I’m awake.
I’ve accepted that my sleep is different, interrupted by short periods of wakefullness (where I do the AWAKE exercise) and I wake up for the day earlier than I’d like, but this program has helped me concentrate more on the kind of life I want to lead no matter if I’m worrying about my health, have difficult nights or days. The more I identify my values and live by them the less I struggle with sleep and the other challenges in my life. So the two key things for me have been identify and reduce the struggles and live the kind of life that is important to me. The rest is slowly falling into place. At times I still feel down about not being where I want to be but I try to be patient and look at where I was and how my life has gotten better.
My best to you on your journey. It’s not an easy one and I so hope you find what helps you with the struggle and live the life that is important to you! I’m so grateful for the support of these forums! – Kendra 🙂
Hi Yogishabi, 5inthehall and Masharey,
I’ve been part of this program for about a month and a half and am so grateful I found it! I’ve experienced many improvements in my life since starting the program, one of them being less struggle with the difficult thoughts and feelings that come with having challenging nights. I’ve also experienced improvement in other areas of my life as I build on my ability to surrender and let go when I’m feeling and thinking difficult things.
The simple but incredibly challenging concept of learning how not to struggle is brilliant and I think has taken “insomnia” recovery to a new level. CBT-i alone fed my lonliness with being awake at night even more. Getting out of bed in the colder months without anyone to talk to felt like an awful chore and made me more anxious. I’m now find it calming when I’m awake at night to nestle into my cozy flannel sheets and do things like the AWAKE exercise or “watch” my breathing and difficult thoughts.
I had a breakthrough about 4 weeks ago (at the beginning of week 3 of the course) when I realized I was analyzing each night of sleep and categorizing them as either good or bad. I’d get anxious about how even on nights when I had some sleep, the sleep felt different and unfulfilling. Then I realized that my sleep was not good or bad but just different and I decided to look at getting into bed as my sleep journey or adventure and that whatever happened it was an experience. This realization came after my last sleep panic of 4 sleepless days. I was grateful that after practicing the AWAKE exercise many times and buying and reading the DARE book found on Martin’s website that the breakthrough happened for me. Martin’s program seems to use some of the same approach as the DARE book on dealing with anxiety and panic attacks. The book in combination with this program helped me A LOT!
I’m now having much better nights. Full disclosure I am still taking trazodone, but have cut my dose in half over the last 4 weeks with the goal of getting off it when I feel ready. I’ve had challenges in this time period but I don’t respond to them in the same way. Last night I fell asleep fairly quickly during my sleep window which is 11 – 6, but was awake by around 4:30, I let myself lie in bed thinking about things that make me happy until 6 and then got up. These nights aren’t my favorite but I’m MUCH less anxious and doing more in my life in spite of them.
I’m so grateful we have this forum and we can share our stories and support each other. I used to be a part of Al Anon and the community aspect and sharing helped so much to give me strength and hope. After every meeting we used to say the Serenity Prayer followed by “it works if you work it” and I think both are apt here. My best to all of you and I’m so glad we all found The Insomnia Coach!!!!!
Hi Tim –
I find your posts very helpful and because you are a week or so ahead of me in the process very encouraging!
I bought the book DARE through Martin’s website and it’s really helpful. It is very much what we are learning here.
Anyway, thank you for posting! – KendraHi Tara –
I experienced that in early December and my trip to the ER seemed to only delay what I needed to do to work on the struggle. I’ve been tempted to go again at times and I truly understand the desperation you feel so as Martin says “you know you best” but most ERs don’t know how to handle insomnia other than to give us medication, and at an ER they might require you to get that medication through your PCP.
I’m waiting for my Week 3 videos, but this week was hard for me as well. I’m really trying to trust the process and envision myself in a better place. This is tough stuff we’re doing. This morning I went back and read the written testimonials on Martin’s website and that helped me. Since we all have a pretty similar story your bound to find one of the testimonials that really gives you hope. Let’s both hang in here and trust that things will get better. 🙂Hi Tim and everyone else working this program –
Your progress sounds wonderful and staying the course seems like the right thing to do.
I’m in a place where I’m feeling like I’m not moving forward. I read about so many people talking about having a bad night one night and the next night is pretty good but for me I seem to be stringing together several difficult nights. Over the last 3 days after difficult nights I’ve been concentrating on getting out to walk, swim, do yoga, visit family and friends and fill my days with what is important to me but with such intense fatigue it’s getting hard. I want to trust the process because I don’t want to back on zolpidem and I want to be healthy but my resolve is cracking a bit.
Anyway has anyone out there been at this point at the end of Week Two where you’re doubting the process but you pushed through it and got to a better place?Thank you Tim – I probably should not have been so hasty to post. Progress certainly is not linear and those 12 nights (although some weren’t that good) do show me I can sleep. When I shook off the worst of the night I made sure to get busy in my life, going to yoga, doing some work and I just took a nice long walk in the crisp winter air. Changing how I respond to the struggle can be tough but today I’m not letting two yucky nights derail me. I hope you’re enjoying your day!
Hi Tim –
Thanks for your response. That’s great that you were able to get things done after your difficult night!
Last night was a challenging night and today I’ve thought more about sleep than I was. I think when I’m following the program and I’m doing well I’m able to let go of the idea of sleep easier. A challenging night gets me down even though I know I made some progress last night by going through my first tougher night in 12 days and doing the AWAKE exercise most of the time I was awake. I slept some but don’t know how much since I’m not watching the clock.
Anyway I’m completely on board with treating ourselves with understanding and kindness! After all we’re going through some pretty tough stuff and there’s no one there when we’re going through it but ourselves. Friends and family keep reminding me that I can be hard on myself if I’m not accomplishing what I set out to do quickly enough. I’m trying to trust the process here but it’s tough at times.Hi Tim
I started this online program last week and your post resonated with me. I too ended up in an emergency room after panicking about not sleeping for days. This led to prescription sleep medication and of course LOTS of anxiety.
I’ve had a ten year history of sleep challenges (I’m not fond of owning the diagnosis of insomnia) and last April I used a type of CBT-I on an app on my phone. It helped and within a few months I was sleeping better but then at the end of November my sleep started to become challenging and then down right scary. I convinced myself I had an extremely rare disease and everyday was filled with a high level of fear and anxiety. Because I panicked I went on sleep medication and did sleep some but the anxiety stuck around.
I did get help to sort out why at this time in my life the sleep challenges had gotten worse and along the way learned more about therapeutic CBT and ACT. I used what I had learned and tried to keep doing the things I enjoyed although at times that became overwhelming.
As with many people who experience sleep challenges and such difficult thoughts around it, I searched for help as I don’t want to use sleep medication long term. I then found Martin and his program and I felt so hopeful! I really liked his non-regimented take (as far as sleep hygiene) on CBT-I and ACT. So I signed up last weekend.
The week before I started the program I did get myself off the sleep med that I didn’t like but was relying on for some sleep, but I am using another one. But the good news is after following the Week 1 plan pretty closely I’ve cut the dosage in half. The parts of the program that have not been hard for me are not looking at the clock. I had started doing that when I was exploring CBT in another program and it really helped me with some of the “next day” functioning anxiety. I also love writing down the 3 good things as I had started a gratitude journal already. I’m also working on filling my awake time with things I enjoy. It’s tough staying up later and getting out of bed when I’m awake but I’m working on filling those times with things I like to do, like listening to podcasts. The sleep window is a challenge and I’ve been adjusting it as I reduce the sleep med but being kinder to myself has helped a lot!
Anyway, finding this program and this forum has been SOOO reassuring as I can see how similar so many people’s experiences are to mine. Sleep challenges and the loss of quality sleep is so incredibly difficult and has been one of the scariest times of my life, but I know there is hope and help and for that I’m grateful!
