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I’m so sorry for you ♡ It’s completely understandable that you’re finding it hard to be strong right now. What week are you on in the course? I did week 4 today, and I found it really valuable. But I don’t want to give you a spoiler if you’re not there yet in the course, because that might not be helpful.
I’m also 39 (in a week) and have pretty much the same interests/hobbies as you
Maybe there’s a personality type connected to this insomnia disorder, haha.My Insta is baukje_plusr. If you feel like it, you can send me a message. If not, that’s totally fine too
I hope you experience some good moments today, despite your tiredness and anxiety.
Good morning (at least here in Holland
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I hope you’re sleeping peacefully. If not, I hope you’re at peace with being awake ♡
Wow, it seems like you’ve tried quite a few remedies. I truly see them as both a curse and a blessing, at least the sleeping pills. They’re fine for a one-off, but when the fear of being awake is as intense as we experience, they don’t do much good.
It’s impressive that you’ve stopped using everything. I do know that an SSRI can actually make the anxiety worse at first, which really sucks. I had this too with my medication switch, though it was a different class of antidepressants.
I slept well last night, no sleeping pills. And today, I am going to seize the day. Well, at least I’ll try to, haha.
Thank you too for your support. It really helps to talk to someone who’s in the same boat.
Thanks for the tips! The massage gun is actually a great idea. My boyfriend has one. I’ll ask him to bring it with him right now.
And knitting seemed like a really good idea
I’ve thought of it before. When you’re busy, you might even feel like finishing it, so staying awake wouldn’t be a problem at all. I wish you a calm, peaceful night with acceptance for whatever comes. We can do this! We’ll get through it.
If you’re awake and reading messages, I’m curious about how old you are, and what you normally do for fun
If you’d like, we can connect on social media or something.Martin was right, we are not unique! I truly recognize so much in your way of thinking! It actually makes me laugh a little. I think that’s already quite something!
Such a pity that it started at the moment of your dream job. I read or heard somewhere that this is actually a common trigger for insomnia — especially with something you care deeply about, during a big life event. So in that sense, it’s not so strange, of course. Hopefully, that thought can give you some comfort and help with acceptance.
Unfortunately, I’ve already had a few all-nighters since starting the course. I must say that today, especially the first part of the day, was difficult. I feel a little better now — although that doesn’t always say much about the night ahead.
Tonight I’m going to try different things if I can’t sleep. I think I’ll just make some tea first and get myself a little treat. I’ve already lost a few kilos due to the stress, so a nighttime snack is no problem
. Maybe I’ll look up a yoga session on YouTube or something. Honestly, I have no idea. I can’t connect with audiobooks either — something I normally always enjoy.My doctor advised me today to take a sleeping pill if the panic strikes again, until the medication fully kicks in. So far, I’ve managed without it, even though the temptation has been strong. I find it difficult when he says that, especially because I’m so committed to working on this. But I also realize that sometimes I need to be a bit less hard on myself. I’m just so afraid that I’ll only experience more problems after taking a sleeping pill. Although, I do long for some rest.
I believe we are the same, haha. I’ve always had the exact same thing. Sleep has always been a sensitive issue for me. This is the fourth time I’ve had a more intense period of insomnia. The trigger was very clear this time due to a medication change. I’ve never experienced that before, so it feels harder than the previous times. But rationally speaking, that’s actually nonsense. Because the previous times felt just as difficult. So I will get through this again, and so will you! Did you also have a clear trigger?
It’s good that you have enough people around you.
I have a 13-year-old son, and I’m a single mom. But I do have a boyfriend, even though we don’t live together. We spend time together a few times a week. He finds it a bit difficult to deal with, but I can’t blame him. He’s a really good sleeper himself
. I cry a lot during this period and sometimes feel really depressed. But I also know that things will get better, especially once the medication works properly again. This is what I try to hold on to.My sleep window is from 10:30 PM to 5:30 AM. I’m a morning person. I’m unsure if I should make it shorter because I often end up lying awake anyway. But I don’t really dare to do that. What is yours?
Sometimes I literally can’t keep my eyes open, but once I get into bed, it all goes wrong again. Super frustrating!I try different things at night. Sometimes I get up and watch TV, but I can’t focus on it and don’t enjoy it. Sometimes I stay in bed and keep doing the “awake” exercise. It doesn’t do much for falling asleep, but that’s not really the point of the exercise.
Sometimes I do a meditation. Sometimes I listen to podcasts, including Martin’s. But even then, I don’t always feel great. It’s difficult. I don’t really have anything at night that fully captures my attention to help me struggle less. Do you?I am sorry for the long paragraph
Great to hear from you too. This path can feel really lonely, so messages like this are really supportive.
I completely understand what you mean. I do the same—just going about everything, working out, working, being a mother. But meanwhile being an anxious emotional wreck. With a brain that obsessively tries to protect me by predicting all kinds of worst-case scenarios. Really frustrating.
Do you have some support from the people around you?
Hi Seana,
I think we create better conditions for the next night with higher sleep drive because of a poor night. But it’s never a certainty that it is going to be a longer night.
For me when my anxiety is high, it’s not always happening the next night either.
Hope you slept better the night after thatHi
can’t say it is going great. Had another all nighter last night. But there are also good nights.
I’m trying to do as many normal things that I can, but with the high anxiety it’s tough sometimes. Ups and downs.
The sun is shining now here in Holland.
How are you doing?
Hi! Thank you for your reply and virtual hug
I did reach out to my psychiatrist and we decided to switch back to mirtazapine. The switch back is also a bit scary, but I am anxious about everything right now. I’m hoping I feel a bit more like myself again soon.
I fully understand you made the choice to give yourself a break. I hope it does you good.
I do listen to the podcasts. Almost obsessively. Looking for reassurance.
Even at night when i can’t sleep.
And although I relate to a lot, there is never someone like me who also switched with medicine or something similar. It makes me feel more lonely at times haha. I guess i am a complicated case now
Please let me know how you are doing.
I hope you feel a bit better by now. But to answer your latest question, i can relate. I can have really bad days with lots of anxiety and worry, but still sleep at night. And other days that are fine, i can have nights with 0 sleep. It’s frustrating, but i don’t think this is not normal. In fact it shows that it doesn’t really matter. Sleep can come after difficult days. Or not come after good days. It’s not really under our control i guess. Somehow comforting but scary at the same time.
I’m in week 3 with a setback at the moment. How are you doing now?
Thank you guys for your reply’s! I am already a bit less worried about events.
However having a major setback at the moment. So now I feel even just a normal day is scary and keeping me up (Just wrote a post about it in week 3).
How do you guys deal with the dark and depressed feelings after a bad night with little to no sleep? The thought of feeling even more depressed the next day is giving me so much anxiety. At night and during the day.
What I mean by that is that I constantly search for information. Every doubt and question about sleep, medication, anxiety, etc., I look up or ask ChatGPT, I browse through forums—only to end up reading things that don’t actually reassure me. It’s a cycle I get stuck in.
I want to focus on the day. On the normal things in life. Without the urge to constantly seek reassuring information that, in the end, doesn’t reassure me at all.
I’m already doing a little better with this. Thanks to this course and some techniques that help me accept difficult thoughts, but mostly by just continuing to do what I normally do every day, with or without anxiety. With or without sleep.
I’m far from there yet. But I’ve come to accept that a bit more, and in between, there are more and more good moments.
