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Laura:
I can totally relate to your post and I think ACT is probably the most realistic approach for me. So I have a question around bed time rituals. I’ve been using Martin’s sleep diaries and setting a wake up time of 5 am to create sleep drive. I’ve been trying to control the amount of time in bed so setting my minimum bed time of 1030 PM so I can try to get 6 hours. I’m wondering if always using sleep compression is too rigid for me. The early wake time is fine but the minimum 1030 bed time is sometimes a real challenge because often my sleep drive kicks in earlier like 8-9 pm. I often fight the nodding off trying to stay awake till 1030. Should I just go to bed when I’m nodding off? Or what about just going with the sleep right there on the couch when I’m reading, maybe a short nap. Is my 1030-5 approach too rigid? This happens sometimes in the afternoons too sometimes when I’m reading. I should mention I love reading and it’s a very calming activity for me.
Also I’m wondering if my approach of getting out of bed to read, rather than just read in bed is too rigid? If I wake up early and feel calm enough can I just read in bed?
Thanks in advance.
Hello Rytu:
I’m just new to this forum. When you have a panic attack lying there and letting it happen is a good strategy. Learning that it will pass is important to realize.
My latest strategy is to just go to bed when I feel good and tired. I get up after I have woken and can’t get back to sleep. That can be really early -430-5 am.
Reading if you can’t sleep works well for me. Video games I personally wouldn’t recommend. Insomnia runs in my family, my mother had it (she passed last year). My youngest of 3 struggles with sleep and he loves video games but he stays away from them later at night and instead reads a book. I think they keep your fight, flight or freeze system aroused. You don’t need to quit just do it earlier in the day.
What is more recently helping me with acceptance is learning to meditate. Fortunately there is a meditation centre in my town that has free public sessions. What I have learned with meditation is to let those feelings that arouse my emotions just be. When you do that the emotions will pass. What creates a panic attack is when you spiral with thoughts from those emotions. As the emotion passes you can go back to just focusing on your breathing.
There are lots of good resources out there for meditation and just understanding it. A good basic start is the Power of Now from Eckhart Tolle -probably a free copy in your library or an audiobook. Todd Perelmuter is a good resource.
I’m realizing this is going to be a process for me that will take time. I was awake around 430 this morning-probably got 5 hours sleep. But for a start I won’t catastrophize this. My day will go on, I’m not going to put life on hold because of it and tonight I will go to bed again when I feel tired. Avoiding the spiral has at least helped me go from 3-4 hours/night to more like 5-6 hours.
