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Hi emandk. Yeah, I’m still struggling with my sleep too. Been real tired of late. Lots of family events have kept me more aroused of late. It happens.
Hope your cold has been kicked and you’re feeling better. Naps aren’t all bad if they help you feel human. Hang in there. I likely won’t be around anymore as my access to this site expires in a few days, but best of luck to you.
In health,
ChrisHi emandk! I’ve been a bit inactive on the board of late, but that’s the point. I’m only responding here because I got an email. 😆
Your last remark of “I’m just so surprised this is still happening” really illustrates the struggle and the emotional attention you’re still giving to sleep. My advice is that you don’t be surprised by it. Each day it happens, it’s just another day. It still happens to me too almost every day, but it’s getting better. When it happens, I disengage from it and turn my attention to other matters that mean just as much or more to me.
Thinking about sleep all the time is BORING. thinking about my relationships and hobbies are much more interesting. Engage with those instead. What do you like to do? I have an increasing list of fun things I want to do. Try that. Take care and don’t be “surprised” by your insomnia. The less surprised you are, the more it should fade away. Just my two cents.
Martin . . . haha. Yeah, I sucked at disc golf for the better part of six months, but for some reason, maybe it’s my love for the outdoors, I kept going out and practicing it and trying new things to improve my game. Now, I can par quite a few holes on my local course on a regular basis with the occasional birdie. It is a lot of fun to watch my disc fly if I get off a great shot or to hear the rattle of the chains as my disc lands in the basket. I bet they have some beautiful courses up in Oregon. There are 468 disc golf courses in my state of California alone. Take care.
Chris
Hi emandk. I can feel your struggle in reading your posts here and that’s just what insomnia is…..struggle. I’ve been getting about 6 hours a night, but I wake up often. It’s not the best 6 hours that’s for sure. To me, beating insomnia is about doing nothing so when you say you did better with your sleep window that didn’t surprise me. I’ve done away with mine and I can’t say I’m sleeping any worse.
I get it that you need to get up early to help your family out the door. But, remember that you’re doing that because you love your family and that is a VALUE worth living for despite the insomnia. It’s so hard to let go of the thoughts around insomnia because the symptoms of fatigue suck so bad, but letting go doesn’t mean there’s attempts to avoid those thoughts. Focus on the good. In the trenches with you here. Hang in there. Be patient. Often times things get better before we realize it.
Hi Martin. Thanks for responding. Perhaps I should rephrase the “not caring” comment. Lol. You are correct …… of course I care about my sleep. However, if I care so much about it that sleep is all I think about, then that incites the struggle for me.
It may be more accurate if I say that I would like to forget I enrolled in this course without TRYING to forget I enrolled in the course. There were a couple of days last week when I got busy enough that I literally forgot that I wanted to finish the week 6 module and I only remembered because I found the window to the course still open on my phone …… first time that’s happened and it felt great.
I’m still assessing the effectiveness of a sleep window for me. In a way, following a sleep window can incite the struggle for me because I am then, again, always thinking about sleep. A person without chronic insomnia doesn’t think about their sleep often. The ACT aspect of this course I think is helping me more than the CBTi aspect. For me, the ACT aspects are about helping us move on with life regardless of whether sleep finds us, and in turn, we begin to not dwell on our sleep and struggle with it as much. So, I’m focusing on other aspects of my life ……. moving on …… while still acknowledging that sleep may or may not come to me. Thanks Martin. I really appreciate this community. 🙏
Here’s another book recommended by therapist: Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers.
I just started reading it.
Hi Czor,
I feel you here. I’m in the same boat. I woke up at 3:30 this morning after already feeling exhausted for days / weeks. I got up almost immediately because I had to go pee and I was hungry. So I went to the kitchen and ate. Went back to bed thereafter and slept for another 4 hours or so. I have so much sleep debt though that I still feel fatigued. It’s tough, but I’m trying not to focus on sleep and instead focus on what I want to do with my days. I’m still waking in the middle of the night and I would imagine that’s not going to change anytime soon, but I’m hoping the duration of my nighttime wakings diminishe on average. In the meantime, life goes on. Hang in there bud. I’m grateful for your posts.
Hi Martin. Thank you for the quick reply. I played around with that very same question you posed in your response while I woke in the dark early this morning. The answer I came up with was that when I experience the symptoms of fatigue, I need to just let it happen and experience the symptoms in my body. The image I had in my head is that I gave the fatigue symptoms an appearance of the flying dragon from the Neverending Story (Falkor). And, it lives in a cave. When the furry creature leaves the cave, it visits my body in the form of symptoms of fatigue. This is my way experiencing the symptoms in a positive way rather than as a threat. I always loved that movie when I was a kid. I feel a little out of my mind describing this, but it’s the image that popped into my mind in the middle of the night last night whether I wanted it to or not. It seemed to help a bit last night. I’ll have to see if this helps in the long run. Thanks!
Hi Czor,
Thanks for writing. Yeah, I’ve always needed 7-7.5 hours of sleep to feel rested for as long as I can remember. Getting 5-6, which is what I’ve been getting for many years now isn’t enough for me. It got really bad after raising my kids for a few years. 😆 They say you never sleep the same after having them.
Hi Martin,
Thanks for the reply. I’ve been implementing the sleep window for about 2 weeks now. When I say I get tired in the afternoon, I mean sleepiness, not fatigue. I literally am having trouble keeping my eyes open after having lunch. Later in the afternoon, the sleepiness dissipates and I’m just left with fatigue, which is when I experience my physical symptoms of muscle weakness/muscle fascillations. It’s always after I eat a meal when extreme sleepiness sets in.
It’s as if my brain won’t let me sleep for more than 6 hours, but then I’m struggling with bouts of extreme sleepiness throughout the day, especially after meals. It’s not even 9 pm right now and I’m ready to drop, but I know it’s too early for that.
This happens to me as well. Just a guess here…. try to fight the urge to fall asleep. I’m guessing over time, so much sleep drive will build from the sleep restriction that you will start to feel sleepy around the start of your sleep window or the sleepiness will stay with you all the way until your sleep window starts. Martin may state otherwise though. I’m in the same boat as you so take what I say with a grain of salt. Peace out.
Hi Czor,
I’m right there with you. However, I always get at least a couple hours of sleep a night. But, I still have my yo-yo as well. One night I get 2-3 hours, the next I’ll get 6 hours, then 4 hours the day after, etc. I think the sleep duration is one issue, sleep quality is maybe the biggest problem. It’s also week to week, not just day to day. Hang in there bud. I’m on 3 hours of sleep right now and I’m miserable, but I’m going to fight through my day as best I can, and hopefully, the massive sleep drive I’ve built these last couple days will help me sleep during my entire sleep window tonight. Fingers 🤞.
Chris
