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It is never easy when you get caught in the physical and emotional pain of sleeplessness, which can feel so disabling too. The amygdala part of the brain now running the show, leaving little space for rational thought, or indeed, concentration. Acceptance, to me, is making a choice to continue to enjoy my daily life, no matter how bad I am feeling, and thanking myself for the courage it sometimes takes to do so. By doing this, things often lose their edge of fear, and you notice little changes within, even if only for a short while, until a brighter day follows, which may I add, isn’t always following sleep!
Thank you so much for such a kind response, and I love your suggestion of my mind being enthusiastic and eager! You are so right there!
In answer to your question, when my mind runs like a film with special effects, I try to accept that it is purely my amygdala on overdrive and to relax and be present with this, using the AWAKE exercise to help, despite the images which flash through my mind, reminding me of my brain alertness.
By doing this, I can sometimes relax enough, even though sleep doesn’t arrive, but invariably those thoughts reappear, highlighting the fears of not sleeping, and the effects this might have during the day, further preventing me from entering my relaxed state again. At this point I lie there awake, waiting for morning, and the frustration within rises.
I am travelling to family this weekend and am already fearful of how I may sleep, almost convinced that I won’t! You have so helped me reduce the panic I have felt in the past, and I am sure I will one day convince my brain that ‘I am ok!’ Thank you Martin for your support with this, which I so appreciate.At night time, my mind seems to run like a film with special effects, even alerting me as I drift off to sleep, as if to remind me that I have difficulties sleeping! This happens more when away from home, but the feelings of sadness and thoughts of ‘Why can’t I just sleep?’ drift around my head, keeping me awake. My behaviours also change, as my mind focuses more on what may prevent me from sleeping and I try to remedy this. I think I am making sleep too important, although I know I have to be kind to myself, as this has been a problem for 37 years and not something I can change overnight. Tragically, my adorable fun loving sister took her own life due mainly to the anxiety of not sleeping, so this adds a further layer of fear within me. I am determined to break this cycle of fear and am so very grateful to you for your help in this Martin.
I too am struggling with this issue, and that is where the problem lies! We continue to struggle with it! I am using the AWAKE exercise by keeping acknowledging the thought I am having….like yours, my mind always says,’Here we go again, I won’t get back to sleep now, I am wide awake!’ And so it is.
When Martin talks about difficult days, I know just how they feel, as you must do too, and am maybe trying far too hard to get back to sleep, which is increasing my anxiety (which I know it is!) and the difficult thoughts and feelings which follow.
As with any anxiety issue, there is no quick fix, we have to somehow be aware that we can survive difficult nights and days until it gets easier again. It will….if we let it.
Hope this has helped, and like you, I am going to enjoy my difficult day, no matter what!Thank you Martin, I understand I need to be less concerned about my thoughts and feelings, as they are always going to turn up for me, whether I like it or not! I am just finding it so difficult not to get caught up in feeling it is a struggle within myself when I have a sleepless night, as anxiety usually turns up alongside. I do not know how it feels to let my mind do what it does anyway without it affecting me negatively, but I hope with practise this will improve. Am I right in thinking that the AWAKE exercise is not a tool to help with sleep, but purely to help to accept the wakefulness? I can see that I struggle with this and need ongoing practise, and thank you for such a clear response. I needed to hear this and to see how I am keeping the struggle alive!
Thank you so much for your response Martin. I really try to follow your teachings, which resound with such sense, and have been so useful in helping me to make sense of the way I have always responded to unhelpful thinking. However, I still seem to be having sleepless nights before high pressure times and can’t seem to shrug the unease I feel when lying there unable to sleep throughout the night. That old ‘here we go again’ thought pops up, as though history is always going to repeat itself no matter what I do! Even though I am using the AWAKE exercise and keeping myself as calm and relaxed, visions of the struggle the next day will bring if I don’t sleep continue to haunt me. I even have vivid pictures in my mind of what I shall be facing. My anxiety levels are always raised when I don’t sleep well too, adding another layer of angst. I suppose because I have been like this for so many years it is going to take time to rewire and change old habits. I would love to feel normal again, back to the time when I didn’t have a sleep thought, and a bad night was just that, nothing to concern myself about, unlike now, when it still fills me with the prospect of another bad night and not coping.
I loved your comment that we can’t always enjoy things, and this made me realise that I add undue pressure upon myself. So, after a sleepless night, I decided to lead a full and meaningful day and enjoy as much as possible, with or without difficult thoughts and emotions. It has felt easier, and I am hoping with practise, it will continue to do so.
I shall continue to listen to your videos, as they keep adding layers of invaluable advice and will hopefully help to make me realise that finally ….I can do this!
