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Yes for sure. The more you struggle, the harder sleep becomes.
Unfortunately I’ve been hitting a string of bad nights. When your body is tense and can’t drop off for hours on end, it becomes frustrating. Also, it creates catastrophe “how will I get through the day”.
But when I get satisfactory sleep, I don’t complain. Just really wish I can get back to that point soon where I go to bed, if I wake up to use the bathroom, I can dose off in a reasonable time. When you are in a rut, it does make things more difficult.
I sometimes read for tips and tricks but in the end, when things are going well, there are no tips or tricks, just lay down and sleep comes naturally. Stress, worry and anxiety really does a number though..
Hi Stirling,
Glad you can join in. This is most likely one of the more comprehensive threads/discussions about ACT-I on the Internet. Not to go into too much detail since you’ve read Guy Meadows book, it often is better to “give up” rather than struggle. At times it is a struggle but the sooner you let it go, the faster you get back on your feet. I do have mostly good sleeps and then waves of poor sleep and sometimes reading his book or reading this thread helps (in small doses).
Anyway, welcome and feel free to contribute.
Hey Mac,
Yes for sure. At my old job before covid it was pretty relaxed with some stressful times but my stresses were more family related. When covid hit and I could work from home, it was better generally because I could sleep in, no commute and people around me.
My new job is more labour and hands on and although I’ve been doing it for a few months, I get stressed. The thing is yes there is stress but it doesn’t seem to just go away like a light switch. I need to walk, work out, relax and let time pass. I guess I may need more stress management and do mindfulness more often. (I haven’t been doing it at all)
I do think we are wired in our DNA with anxiety. Some more than others but we all get it. It’s suppose to be a good thing to alert us of imminent danger. It’s trying to calm it after it passes or at least let it know the stress is here to stay for awhile, deal with it.
I will sleep better again. I always do, just difficult when it’s a rough night and most of the day my legs and arms are a little tingly numb and my brain just feels wired but not tired.
Good to hear from you
I am sure most of us have dwindled from this forum. I am glad and sure most of us have been sleeping well. I have for the most part except with this new job, I’ve been waking up 1-2 hours early fairly often. Last Friday was super stressful at work and over the weekend I’ve been having poor sleep thinking and worrying about everything I have to do and I am fairly certain it is the factor for the poor sleep.
I just try to nod it off and realize I can’t really fix it but rather accept and move on and wait until better sleep returns. Sometimes Ill read a bit of The Sleep Book to refresh myself on what I should do (not too much different) and what I can do to try to help.
Always a crappy feeling, oh well.
I hear ya about waking up early full time. For the past few weeks, I’ve been getting up 1-2 hours before my wake up time of 7am. It’s annoying but it isn’t as bad as the past 3 days or so. My basement flooded and I’ve been doing remediation also while trying time to study for an exam and a new job stress. Last night was one of “those” nights. Stressful worrying feelings of even minor things causing me to stay awake. One night at a time, it sucks 🙁 But again, another 3 months of decent nights of sleep.
As with you Mac, I don’t have sleep fear to the point that “I will never sleep again”. I do doubt after a string of bad nights but I just keep going through my day and not worry about it. It does get harder as the lack of sleep hightens the stress level causing a spiral.
I am sure most of us are doing well. I think Ill feel better once the basement is addressed and I get more into the swing of the new job. It’s normal to feel stress and when that happens, I get jittery, not as hungry, more tense and of course sleep troubles!
Hey Mac,
Yes, it has! Been awhile. I’ve had death in the family before and it can wreck havoc for sure. The drama just adds fuel to the fire. I had about a week of poor sleep around Jan 20th and it was very likely triggered by employment finding stress. I got let go not too long ago and thoughts run through my mind. The good news is I’ve been through poor sleep many times and although it sucks and in the heat of it all feels like it will never get better, it does. I’ve been sleeping fairly well for about a week now.
Acceptance is helpful. Even when you accept poor sleep, it may not fix things right away but is the shortest path than trying to fix it. When I am too stressed or anxious, all I can do is just accept it and let it pass.
Hey Mac,
Happy new year and everyone else who may still be reading. I hear ya about car trouble or some sort of trigger causing a bit of a relapse. I have been good for months!. I had a situation early this week that wound me up in a perpetual thinking loop all day and that led to worry/anxiety and sure enough came along for the midnight ride. I’ve had 3 nights of difficulty and of course it starts making me think about it more. And the lack of sleep heightens the nervousness and such which doesn’t help.
It is uncomfortable having these bad nights but I’ll muddle out of it. The solution is to do nothing which actually is easier said than done because we are trying to fix something that’s not really broken.
Hope everyone is well!
Thanks gsdmom. I hope for deep refreshing sleep too, if not, that’s ok, no expectations. I don’t use any ear buds or anything like that. I find it distracting especially if it’s to “fall asleep”. I usually have a fan on for white noise. Even with it off, I can usually sleep fine but it’s just nice to have on. I tried CBD in the past but it is another crutch to hope I can sleep better, it doesn’t.
The best thing that’s worked for me is to let go. Just go to bed and do nothing. My mind often goes and thinks about my day, shows i’ve watched. I just enjoy the show and then sleep.
Last night was the first time I took a sleeping pill in years. I just couldn’t bear to toss and turn all night. I did half and then another half later to reduce the dose but stretch it out longer.
This always works itself out. We just need to muddle through a bit.
Hey folks,
Not sure if the crew is still around. I have been doing well for years actually! Most nights uneventful which is good. Maybe once a month a little bit of issues that aren’t really a concern. Last 2 nights have been rough. Anxiety, arousal, difficultly falling and staying asleep. Doing my best to move forward and not worry. Sometimes it’s hard when confidence is broken rather quickly and having a night feeling all tense is just awful feeling. Hopefully this slip passes soon.
Hope everyone else is been well. I really have sleep wise and this walloped me having almost 0 sleep.
Agreed Hbhigg,
Logging, judging and worrying wasn’t productive. Letting it all go was better especially since I believe most of us would misjudge how many hours we were awake/sleep.
I might as well bump this thread up as I would like to give an update to those who were active on this thread. Thank you for all the advice and support. It’s been awhile since I’ve posted and wanted to update that for the past month/year+, most evenings have been good. I had a precipitating factor that triggered all this and since that factor has passed, I slowly returned to normalcy.
I don’t want to go into long specifics but ACT to some extent or just doing as I did before all this happened worked much better than a strict CBT regimen. Looking back I think it did more harm than good. Not saying it doesn’t work but rather the approach or results may not be as good as an ACT approach. Trying to log, think, worry and fix my sleeping problems was counter productive.
I know it’s easier said than done but laying in bed and doing nothing or letting your mind wander even if it’s good and bad stuff is ok, you will get tired either way and will fall asleep. On good nights smile and remember you can sleep. On poor nights, remember we all have them and just keep going through your day.
Yes it can be lonely and isolating. Keep in mind that these bouts are temporary and as long as you don’t try to perpetuate the issue by trying to think about it or fix it, it will resolve quicker.
As for the anxiety and worry. It’s very common and the tug of war on what started what. The worry and anxiety or the insomnia. If you can find activities you like doing to pass the time or spend time with family and friends, it will help with those low days.
Yep, the test will be the going back to work and knowing you have to be up early and stay there all day.
I am definitely grateful for the long stretch I had. I had some downs of course but it was just a matter of not worrying, still feeling sleepy and just laying there and falling back to sleep. The last 2 nights were just not happening and I hate when I do take something to compensate. I know I’ve been able to sleep without anything for weeks/months.
I let go and relax but sometimes it just ain’t happening and I do my best to not get frustrated and just be calm about it.
Hi Mac,
I was doing quite well. Early March I was told we’d be working from home. I was worried that it would screw things up having a couch close to me and the lack of social water cooler interaction. Well, for the most part most days were satisfactory and knowing I don’t have an hour commute helped so I can stay up a little longer if I want to and know I can rest in bed a bit longer. Most days I would and have no trouble. Some days weren’t as good but was easily salvaged by simply relaxing/resting and then poof another hour or two of sleep. I would say a consistent 6.5-8.5 hours a night with an average of about 7-7.5. Confidence was high and no supplements or pills during that time. Little worry about sleep actually.
3 nights ago I fell asleep fine but couldn’t get back to sleep. I was getting the self monitoring/sleep starts. 2 nights ago I had onset and maintenance and took 1/2 of a pill. Last night I was in bed for about 2 hours and had to get out of bed to reset. Was out for about 45 minutes and not really sleepy. Tired yes, sleepy no. Again, 1/2 pill and was up at 7AM and wanted to push another 1.5 hours of sleep with no luck.
I guess I feel like I am trying to force/control sleep when things start to fall off the rails. I also do nothing and just let my mind wander and hope to drift off but I guess I just have this tension and nervousness that accompanies these bouts. We’ll see how long this lasts.
I can’t help put try to determine the reason but just boil it down to just random cycles and try not to fix it by trying new or spending too much effort.
I do worry a bit about going back to the office but I do like the structure and although sometimes I am a zombie, it forces my body to stick to a schedule and say “You want to sleep? Well you will have plenty of opportunity at 11PM”
One last point, over the last 2 months and longer. I would listen to my body unlike strict CBT-I. I do get waves of sleepiness and sometimes it’s a welcome from the constant wired but tired feeling so it I can lay down for 30 minutes and know I passed right out and got a power nap, not only does it re-engergize me, it gives me confidence that I can sleep.
Deb, how are you doing?
