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I can’t control my mind at anytime. I don’t try to: it is impossible. My key to living in the same body as my busy mind is to listen to what it has to say and accept its concerns. I sometimes try to reason with myself, but often I won’t listen to me. Eventually, I convince myself to relax a bit, or I get out of bed and find something to do that makes me feel better. I don’t try to fall asleep. That’s impossible. Sleep comes when it does, regardless of my efforts
Sleep window restriction is difficult; it can be very difficult. It seems counterintuitive. When I first struggled to sleep, I tried the opposite (like most insomniacs). I went to bed earlier to make more opportunity for sleep. This practice is, of course, a mistake. I needed sleep pressure and my brain needed to know when to trigger the sleep cycle cascade. A long discussion can follow to attempt to address the logic and physiology involved, but that doesn’t really matter. I went down this path. I am actually a physician, an anesthesiologist. I thought about, and researched the issues, and spoke with sleep medicine doctors (and my son the 4th year neurology resident). What I learned on my “understanding sleep” journey was that sleep is passive phenomena. It is not like the drug induced coma that I induce daily. It happens by itself. What Martin teaches was the right path for me. I suspect that it is the path for most people.
Sleep window restriction is an important part of all implementations of CBT-i and ACT. I think that sometimes you just have to accept to do hard things. My sleep is okay now. I chose to do some difficult things. Maybe it will help you.Being awake is undoubtedly because of anxiety: sleep anxiety, generalized anxiety, perhaps both. Your sleeping pill doesn’t address the problem (anxiety). It’s just an off switch. Anxiety can be treated with CBT, medication, or both. I’m going the both route myself. I have stopped the sleep medicines and have started low dose buspirone (non-sedating anxiolytic) along with my insomnia coach course. I feel better. I have started getting out of bed to read or watch older sitcoms when I can’t sleep. Those activities help me feel less anxious. For me, doing some I enjoy is time better spent than struggling in bed, even if it is 2 AM. I’m not sure that I buy the stimulus control thing, rather, I do not want to wake my wife.
I accept the likelihood I will get little to no sleep that night, but at least I got to binge watch “Parks and Recreation”. I have learned that I will be okay to get through the next day, even with little to no sleep. Insomniacs can be remarkably resilient.
