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I’m just never falling asleep mostly, usually if I can get to sleep even if I wake I’ll go back to sleep it’s the initial getting to sleep, it’s just weird to me that I’ll go 3-4 nights in a row with almost nothing not sure what to do about it as there’s really nothing I can do.
It’s so hard to be kind to yourself and love yourself in general, with insomnia I feel like it’s twice as hard as you just can’t understand what’s wrong with your brain. I’m trying to work through that as I’ve never worked on giving myself love and gratitude before. I’ve always nitpicked every imperfection and try to fix it, which is how I arrived here.
Thank you, I never really thought of not being ok with the feelings as being ok. I guess you’re just always trying to push the negative feelings away. Some times it’s hard to not be hard on yourself about not getting to a place where you are accepting all the negative emotions if that makes any sense. I’m definitely still working through being an observer of my thoughts and feelings.
I have started working through acknowledging these thoughts, especially at night rather than fighting, and while I can see that struggle at night feels less severe, I’m taking longer to fall asleep but I’m getting more consistency across the week instead of having zero hour nights. It’s like my brain is trying with all its might to hang on to this awareness that it perceives wakefulness as a threat. I’m not sure if it will just take time for that signal of threat to fade with practice of this technique.
Thank you for that, it’s sometimes hard to see that just implementing these techniques is making progress when you’re still struggling. I can see that I’m becoming more accepting especially during night time wakefulness, but I’m still struggling none the less. Is it common to see that the more acceptance I seem to get, it’s like my brain is creating more anxiety in some last ditched effort to keep me focused on the perceived threat?
Well the sleep meds make me feel not very good, I get a lot of side effects from them and that is not helping me live my life the way I want to. Just knowing I have to take them to get any rest just gives me more anxiety and worry about my health and problem which just reinforces the cycle. I think about my sleep most days all day long, I’ve been working through sitting with these thoughts but I get this weird chest tightness as night time nears and it just reminds me of my problem and that it doesn’t ever seem to get better. How can I sit better with these negative thoughts and uncomfortable body sensations better, especially as nighttime nears?
I hear you, I’m in a similar cycle of this except I’m struggling with a lot of daytime worry as well. I’ve tried suggestions of talking about my worries to myself in strange voices and in different structure, trying to break up some of the seriousness about it all I have in my head. I’ve been going through this for almost a year now and don’t know if I’ve made a ton of progress. I try to tell myself it’s ok that it’s taking you so long to get better but I’m struggling knowing so many people get over this much quicker. There’s a lot of days where I feel as though I just won’t ever get better fully.
I think it’s a great sign that you’re having those 6 hr’ers. It will get more consistent. You’re probably in a slump like me where it’s a bad night, good night, okay night , bad night, good night etc. it will all even out in time I know it. Just focus on the good nights and ignore the bad ones. Don’t lose faith, trust me I get it I’m going through it too. I’ve gotten to the other side before and know I can get there too, so will you. Don’t give up.
I totally can relate I have gone full circle gotten pretty much better only to be back in the loop. I feel like I totally get the whole not as nervous about it this time around as I’ve had insomnia for so long now and multiple times, but none the less I still struggle at night, I’m not getting much consistency and feel stuck in a loop with my confidence.
I had a pretty rough night probably worst in awhile. I actually fell asleep totally fine, laid down and was gone quickly but woke up around 3:45 am and that was it no more sleep for me. I usually have the opposite problem, sleep onset and I freaked out a little bit and feel pretty defeated. I also take a sleep med so I feel absolutely horrible this morning. I just feel like I’m not really moving forward at this point it’s really discouraging.
