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Hang in there, Gary. It sounds like you are doing a lot of progress. Insomnia was a real trauma on us all and its only normal that the arousal (even when silent) stays with us for some time longer. By now its so slight, that a good sleep drive can overwrite it, but obviously after 3 good 8-h nights your sleep drive wasnt as big, so of course the hyperarousal won. But you are moving towards your goal. Give your body and brain as much time as it needs to heal from the trauma. I believe you are on the right path now.
Hey guys!
How are you doing now with your sleep windows? You know what, I gave it up 😀 I felt like the sleep window was causing me too much anxiety and pressure and made me think about sleep even more. I discussed with Martin and another insomnia couch too and I realised that where I struggle most is the self-kindness part. I am a high-achiever so when given the sleep window task, I was sticking to it for whatever cost (the cost of 0 sleep over 3hours previously) . Allowing myself to give up on what I once set as my goal (not so typical for me) in order to just be kinder to myself and finding a new narrative within myself gave me so much relief that I indeed started sleeping better 😀 😀 Like for example my husband told me “You are so brave for sticking to the sleep window even when so freaking anxious”. I would be like “Sure, like I have some other choice” totaly dismissing myself. So seeing it for what it is means realizing I do have another choice and I indeed have some superwoman qualities, but sometimes they get in the way of sleeping 😀 😀 I realized that maybe employing little less effort would be the right way to go for me now and there the sleep window went.. I follow all the other instructions, do the exercises, but dont restrict my time in bed. At first it would take me 4 hours to fall asleep and I would feel frustrated and anxious. Thanx to my new inner narrative and the exercises offered by Martin, I slowly stopped feeling frustrated when not able to fall asleep and was able to cut back on that awake time. Now it takes me about 2 hours to fall asleep, but I stay in bed, feel calm and cozy (mostly and if I dont I get out) and I do wake up after every sleep cycle, but am able to fall back to sleep. I dont think about sleep so much during the day too. I feel like I am on the right path, just need more time.Hi!
I see you and I used to have the same questions and frustrations in the past. Then I started Martins course and i learned that the stimulus control in the traditional cbt-i way is not what Martin teaches and suggests. Its rather getting out of bed if it doesnt feel good and you are becoming more anxious and frustrated. But if you feel fine, relaxed, no problem staying in bed and giving the sleep a little more time. And then its not as much about giving sleep more time, but giving yourself an option to do what feels best at that moment – maybe just relax in bed. When i tried to get out of bet as the cbt-i suggests, I got frustrated, because I couldnt find an activity that would feel nice, I would feel cold, because our house is super cold and alone. So after Martins guidance I have decided to stay in bed, simply lying there and feeling the comfort of relaxed body, warm and fluffy sheets and proximity of my husband. I would let my mind wonder to all the nice memories we have. Sometimes I would start feeling frustrated and I would get out of bed. But ultimately I found myself feeling less and less frustrated when I couldnt sleep. And slowly I started finding myself awake less as well. And you know what, you might be thinking that when you get back to bed and suddenly start feeling allert again that it is a bad sign and you wont be able to fall asleep. But I tell you from my experience, that you can fall asleep even when worried/alert/tense, so dont worry too much about it. Simply dont stress about beeing stressed – thats what makes it worse, not the primary alertness that comes from insomnia struggle. Just try to get back to bed and give the sleep a go however you currently feel like, dont think about it too much. All of us started to see little approvements still stressed and arroused 🙂 I am not 100% back yet, but its far better now using this method. I believe that the traditional sleep restriction and stimulus control is what brought me to the bottom of my insomnia. The self-kindness way is whats helping me get back 🙂Hi! I did my first night of sleep window tonight as well and gosh, it was a rough one 🙁 I also slept very little and the anxiety was constant. Usually when I manage to fall asleep for the first time in the night (for an hour mostly), I feel calmer for the rest of the night and can sleep better till morning. Yesterday I managed to fall asleep despite the anxiety, but after waking up I couldn’t find that peace of mind for the rest of the night. I hope this gets better over time, cause tonight it was so rough. 1 hour out of bed and i am still shaky..
