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I too take Ambien and feel the same way about using it, like I’m habituating myself to it. I’m on 5 mg and used to be on 10, so I think I’m making progress. Something I’ve tried recently, which seems to work just as effectively, is cutting the 5 mg tablets in half. Even 2.5 mg seems enough to help me feel sleepy. Then, if I awaken at 2 AM, I take the other half. Skipping a night of ambien completely is now less difficult, which I’ve done from time to time, but sadly I still use it if for no other reason than a psychological crutch.
I’ve had long-term insomnia for over 30 years and can tell you that in my search for solutions, I have never found anything that works 100% of the time. I have tried many different medication’s, meditation, tapping, OTC treatments, cold showers, hot baths, practicing good sleep hygiene, and even CBT, but never anything that is effective all the time. The causes and correlations of insomnia are complex and it’s difficult to pinpoint what may have started it, however, knowing that may not be very helpful in solving it. What I believe is at the root of insomnia is anxiety, whether anticipatory or clinical in nature. Once that can be addressed, dealing with the other factors that are impacting sleep loss can be more effective.
If you’ve experienced insomnia for any length of time, you likely understand how anticipatory anxiety can lead to poor sleep. When I anticipate not having a good night sleep, lo and behold it becomes true. As I’ve said in other posts, I believe insomnia is a complex problem and finding causation and correlation is difficult. But what seems to be at the root of it is anxiety. Trying to lasso that tiger has been my most enduring challenge. Beyond that, there are other factors in play, some we have control over and some we don’t. However, I believe that we can improve our sleep, no matter what factors are at play and we should accept there will be times when we don’t sleep well. And that’s just reality.
Sounds like you’ve had quite the journey. I’m inspired by your perseverance. I will definitely look for the book DARE to see if I can reduce my anxiety, of which I have more than my fair share. I’ve been on zolpidem for many years, but reluctant to try antidepressant/anti-anxiety meds. My friend was on Remeron for sleep and after trying to titrate off of it, she experienced severe paranoia and anxiety. I’ve done CBT in the past and practice good sleep hygiene, but to no avail. Insomnia is a very complex problem and has many complex causes and correlations. However, one thing seems to be at the root of it, and that is anxiety, whether brought on by sleep loss or other issues.
One thing I know for sure, doctors don’t know how to solve the problem. They don’t even know how to ask about it. It’s very complex and difficult to figure out causation and correlation. Often, we try to pinpoint a specific event or condition, and sometimes it’s a combination of many factors. It makes me wonder if it’s better to focus on what a good nights sleep looks like, rather than what causes a bad night (or 20 years of bad sleep)
