[Henry]

Hi shaner37: I am finding myself in the same place.  I live in a rural área of Panama, so it´s  very helpful to find someone that I potentially partner with.  I think, at least in my case, it has to do with fear of losing control, and I may be conflating this feeling with a counter reaction I had 3 or 4 weeks ago to certain moves I made to allow more joy in my life.  It seems I have a shadow side of me that sees gloom and doom in everthing.  That part of me has never been owned and sees my efforts to be more happy as a threat to its existence.  In other words, fears it my die.  So I am now in a battle with myself.  I use now and then, a Gestalt technique of giving a voice to different parts of me and creating a dialogue.  I´ll be glad to share that with you when I´ve done it.  In the meantime, if anything I´ve said clicks with you or you get other insightful information, please let me know.  Henry

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