[jrrocco]

'lowercasebecky1952' wrote on '02:

Hi, Matt

I don't think any of us would be here if this site only gave power to the problem. Just like you, we are here to find possible remedies FOR the problem. We've reached a point where the problem has begun to interfere in our daily lives. In my case, it's a constant bone of contention between my husband and me. He thinks I stay awake to defy him. I know I'm awake because I can't go to sleep! That's just one of the ways it affects my life. When I go for days with little to no sleep, I begin injuring myself. This morning I prevented a fall twice, but strained my bad knee doing it. The third time I began to fall, my knee wouldn't hold me, so I fell on the floor, hitting my back, just below my shoulder blades, on the metal rail of my bed. My husband called paramedics, thinking I needed to go to the hospital. Instead they ended up helping me get back into bed. I'm sore, but nothing's broken.

As you stated, you began getting up and checking on market reports. Bad idea for anyone to begin that sort of habit deliberately. I'm sure you didn't expect this outcome. But insomnia can begin from something that simple. I said when I joined this group that I could trace mine back to the summer after we moved back to New Mexico from Missouri. But after giving it some serious thought (lots of time on my hands), I now realize that it actually began the previous fall, after movin here. In the winter of that year, my mother became very ill and I went to Albuquerque to spend time with her because my brother, who was already there thought her death was imminent, and he thought I should be there. I was there for two weeks, during which time she made what doctors called a recovery. Knowing my mother, when she was released from the hospital, she was nowhere near recovered enough to go home. When I eventually went home, my neice took over her care in her own home. No sooner did I get home, than we were informed that my father-in-law had been diagnosed with incurable liver cancer. He passed away May 20. Just prior to that, on May 3, Oklahoma City was hit by that monster tornado. My brother-in-law's house was just skirted by the big one, and his roof sustained minor damage. On June 1, I got a call that my mother was in a coma and it wasn't looking good. I was called upon to make the determination. I had to tell them no heroic measures to save her. She passed away early the next morning. We borrowed my mother-in-law's van for the trip and headed out immediately. It was a tumultuous year. Can we all see why I quit sleeping. I always wondered if I did the right thing with the no heroic measures call. But my sister has backed me and said if they had gotten hold of her first, she would have done the same.

So, Matt, you see, it can be a relatively minor thing that gets us started losing sleep, or a trainwreck such as what I've related, that starts us on that slippery slope into insomnia. I think you belong here. But I hope you change your thinkig of what the group is about. We are a support group. We talk to one another and sometimes, someone comes up with a remedy that may or may not help us. It's basically trial and error and hopig for the best.

However you got here, and for whatever reason, Welcome.

Becky

Hi Becky,

Thanks for welcoming me to the forum. My “power to the problem” comment was not intended to offend anyone. So please accept my apologies. Upon joining I simply wasn't prepared to label myself. I know what brought me here so I can't fool myself with any kind of sincerity. However, just the fact some suffer with this condition for years is quite a sobering thought that this can become my story as well.

To say my year hasn't come with quite a bit of financial turmoil is an understatement. Throughout the years I've dealt with programmers stealing code, Bigger companies reneging on signed contracts with a “so sue me” attitude in which I've lost several hundreds of thousands of dollars.. left me broke and forced to move back home while still struggling to pay programmers, limping along, trying to reinvent my business.. quite humbling.

It took 3 years to basically build myself back up with an incompetent lead programmer who was way to deeply involved in my project to start over with another. After finally getting him up to speed Microsoft stepped in, merged with Yahoo and brought the entire business to it's financial knees. Time to switch gears once more and look for a new opportunity….. again. The ups and downs, thinking you finally have something and then like Lucy pulling the football from Charlie Brown it happens again Maybe my brain snapped from all the cumlative stress in the past. It seems we don't bounce back like we used to. The consistent report checking was basically riddled with anxiety, shock and disbelief at the immediate financial impact Microsoft negatively had on my business. And the futile attempt to turn it around for the past year.

I'm sharing this not to one up you it's just to share. The Family issues you faced are much more impacting as they really highlight how powerless we are for the ones we love. I truly feel for you and hope that maybe now you can finally look after yourself. You seem like the one to always take the bullet, so I hope you don't think of that as selfish..it's actually the opposite

With all this said.. I've been lurking around some of the posts.. I'm really liking the braintraining and brain music therapy suggestions that Wonderhussy and Martin posted. Definitely something to explore.

As for now, I'm taking Jessallie advice (thanks btw) and sleep depriving myself after a rough night last night with no drugs or supps to help.. i got a whopping 2.5 hours of sleep. I went to the gym today as well and worked out for 2 hours.. so I'm hoping i can do a little better then last nights debacle.

Thanks again to everyone.. I really am grateful this forum exists.

Best,

Matt

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