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Hi, It was very bad, I wasn’t even getting 3 hours of sleep. I’m sure Martin will be very helpful to you
Hi Martin, I’m happy to share my progress 🙂
I understand that well because prior to your coaching I was trying hard to distract myself from the thoughts or somehow work through them and use logic to convince myself they are nonsense. None of that worked and in fact all it did was strengthen them. You showed me a different technique which was to accept them. At first it sounds counter intuitive because you don’t know how you can accept such unacceptable thoughts. But, it is the thing that helped me move past them. It wasn’t instant and I had to train myself everyday to accept the thoughts because my default was to resist them. However, I’d eventually catch myself and go back to your teachings. Another thing that helped a lot was being flexible with the sleeping window. A previous therapist was incredibly strict about it and it made me even more paranoid about being awake. However, you had a more flexible approach which felt more natural and didn’t make me more anxious than I already was. Also, I gradually started to do things even in my tired state which you encouraged me to do even though it was really difficult. Finally, you have a compassionate presence which I found to be very helpful. You answered my questions and it was easy to write to you when I was really struggling and scared which I found I wasn’t comfortable enough to do with the previous therapists. Thank you Martin!
Hi Fifi,
Firstly, I’m sorry you’re struggling with this but I can assure you that it can be overcome. It is not true that whatever you think will happen, happens. Think about all the thoughts and worries that you thought would happen and didn’t. I thought similarly to you and guess what?…it was just my mind playing tricks on me.
It is absolutely not your fault so let’s get that out of the way. It is not your fault. Period. Finally, as Nina said…you must go out and live life regardless of how much or how well you slept. I forced myself to go hiking with almost no sleep and tons of anxiety. Practice acceptance and allowance of your thoughts and see them as just that…thoughts. Carve out some time in your day to sit with your thoughts…no distractions. When the negative thoughts come up during the day, which they will for a while, just tell yourself that it’s ok and it’s just a thought and allow it to pass. I hope this helps and I hope you’re doing better!Hi Sriram,
Regarding your first question, I started to accept my thoughts by not trying to get rid of them or distract myself from them. I would just say to myself something like …”OK, I’m having the thought again, it’s fine”. And sometimes I’d imagine the thought floating away. It always returned and so I repeated the process. I want to stress that I didn’t do it perfectly all the time and sometimes I’d get frustrated or I’d distract myself but no matter what I persisted in the acceptance until it became easier and easier.
Regarding your second question, for the most part yes. The thoughts come and go but they do not have the same intensity and when I do get them, I just accept them.I wish you luck!
Hi Judi,
In my experience the results were not linear. I experienced a few good days and then some slip ups until eventually the good days outnumbered the bad days. At first I thought 2 months was not enough time but it actually was and by the time I completed the course I felt equipped to be able to handle the bad days on my own
Hi, Yes sure I can describe what worked for me. I must preface it by saying that the results were not immediate! I was very much resisting the anxiety I was feeling. What I learned to do instead is to sit with my anxious feelings and thoughts and just accept them. Also, when my mind would spiral into fearful thoughts, I would accept that I’m having the thought, I’d tell myself “OK, there is the thought again” and then re-focus on the present moment. Sometimes I’d imagine the thoughts floating on a leaf away from me until they became less and less intense. They would return over and over again and I’d just repeat the process over and over again.
There were many times that I felt frustrated or that it’s not working and I’d spiral into negativity but eventually with Martin’s help I’d get back on track. It sounds simple but I can say it’s the only thing that worked for me. I did sleep restriction too but the most important thing in my opinion is acceptance. I really hope this helps you Suchitra!Hello Martin!
This time around the difference was the technique you shared with me. I kept practicing it every time the negative sleep thoughts came and they came very often. Overtime, they became less and less intense. The techniques which were helpful were the “dropping the anchor” and focusing on the present moment and accepting the current situation as it is. It sounds counter intuitive to accept things as they are when they are not good but it works! And the main thing is not to compare with the success of others and to focus only on yourself. Just keep going and keep practicing the techniques because eventually they will work. The sleep restriction also helped and it helped that you were not so rigid with me about the sleep restriction and you worked with me and my individual requirements. Also, you answered all of my questions and reassured me which was so helpful especially in the beginning when I thought I would never get better. Thank you so much Martin!
Hi Scott, Thank you! Yes, Martin has a technique called “dropping the anchor”. It took a while for this to make sense to me at first because my anxiety was so bad that I didn’t see how it would work for me but with practice and persistence I started to see a difference. You just focus on and acknowledge the thoughts you’re thinking, accept them, don’t judge or try to rationalize them or even try to get rid of them, and then you focus on the thing that you are doing, preferably on something you enjoy.
Even though you may still have the thoughts, they become less intense and less anxiety inducing over time.
