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I’m so happy to hear things have been softer for you. Acceptance really is the key and it’s also the aspect I need the most help with. I still struggle so much with that. I can’t help but want more sleep, and I don’t know how to turn that off!
You are not alone. My insomnia was also onset postpartum. There will be better nights ahead. Have you tried staying awake until it becomes almost impossible to stay awake? Just push your earliest bedtime later if the goal is only 3 hours? I find if I can make it until the start of my sleep window (11pm) I’m usually so tired I can get at least 3hours .. Its the falling back asleep I struggle with most. What you’re saying also reminds me of the possibility that maybe you are getting some more sleep than you may realize it’s just very light sleep. After all becoming a mom does this to us. You’re biologically wired to sleep lighter now so that you can look after your baby. At least this is whats true for me, my sleep is nothing like it was before having a baby. I used to have long stretches of sleep and now I’m lucky if I get a 3 hour stretch. We will continue to make progress and adapt, don’t give up hope.
Thank you for the encouragement. I appreciate it so much.
It really helped me to revisit my notes and remember that so much of our struggle comes from an unwillingness to experience nighttime wakefulness and insomnia, which causes more insomnia and nighttime wakefulness. The more and more I try to avoid being awake, the longer I spend awake. I used to just lie there and read until I fell back asleep but I see now even that is sort of a sneaky way of making a sleep effort, because I’m reading with the intent of falling back asleep….
Martin reminded me that when we’re awake if we can just find something that helps us to experience that time we’re spending awake in an even 1/10th more positive way than rolling around trying to fall back asleep, then that is successful, ongoing practice, at experiencing insomnia in a more workable way. So lately I’ve just been getting up and doing whatever feels right in that moment. Last night I folded the laundry in the dryer and put away the clothes. I started to feel tired so I laid back down and read some and I think eventually I did fall back asleep for a short time — bonus.
Thanks again for the encouragement !
