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Yes indeed it normal for your sleep to fluctuate. I have been experiencing the same.
I am on week 4, but still working through the week 3 material. My sleep started to improve the 2nd to last weekend of August, so basically at the 2 week point in the course for me.
The majority of the time since then I have been getting a full 6 hours per night (which is more than enough for me) but some of the time I experience the night time anxiety, and end up getting only a couple or few hours.
I know how frustrating those poorer nights are, but they are also normal. This recovery takes time. Use NOW when your having a bad day-after. Name and open up to the frustration.Accepting nigjt time wakefulness when all you want to do is sleep isn’t pleasant, I know, but it is preferable to generating more and more frustration by wilfully struggling.
Remind yourself not to struggle against the feelings triggering the anxiety. And if you have a run of good nights, don’t get overconfident and meander from your sleep window, meaning getting in bed too early, or staying up too late doing really stimulating things. I did that this weekend, and it did not yield a good result.
Again, this takes time. There will be ups and downs.
We are going to be okay.
Reach out to me, if you want to talk.Luke
Precisely. There are indeed a silver linings.
The reactive mind is very powerful. And if I could make a supposition, I would say it is never more so than when it is fueled by presumptions dashed.
This is why it is so important to not have any expectations (in the context of sleep, but perhaps also generally). This I think is another valuable tool to keep handy in my mind.
Thank you again for the kind responses, and the program itself. I am learning a lot.Luke
You’re absolutely correct, Martin.
I am a man who up until early July felt completely indestructible, nearly all of the time. Troubles would come, no doubt, but largley speaking they were things that I could control.
The trouble I’ve been experiencing with insomnia has brought about an awakening of a very reactive, almost infantile sort of botheredness, which is not something with which I’ve had to deal in quite a long time.
Today I’ve had the chance to think quite a bit on my reaction to the lack of control (over sleep) that insomnia represents, and have had to again reframe that stress as only being endurable if I consciously chose a more productive response.
I think that in having had some success in sleeping better since Saturday, I’ve built up a not helpful expectation of an uninterrupted continuation of that same success. That expectation is not built on solid ground, since sleep is not controllable.
Like a baby, I just plain want it, and I want it now haha
This reactivity is something to mindful of, and to gently change course from, with better, more realistic, choices.Thank you, and have a hapoy holiday,
LukeAlso, it could be that the two iffy nights I had this week happened to be the same nights that I went to the gym after work.
Maybe working out from 630-8pm isnt the greatest idea, if I hope to be chilled out enough to be sleeping by midnight or 1230.
Morning workouts perhaps.Luke
I’ve had improvement as well. Three good sleeps, Saturday night through Monday night, but got tripped up last night with anxiety. Found myself being quite stubborn while awake as well. That was the wrong way to behave.
I understand there will be ups and downs, victories and defeats, etc.
Behavioral attitude is everything.Let’s think positive thoughts for one another, and for everyone.
Luke
Yeah, go for it. Sounds cozy actually.
We will find our way through this. I am slowly (very slowly) getting better, even with set back nights.
You can do it and you can slways message on here.
Luke
So, if I may ask: If the start of my sleep window is midnight (hypothethically), and at midnight I’m not sleepy enough to go to bed, then I just have to stay up until I am, correct?
I may have missed it if it was expressed this way in Martin’s material, but I guess that’s what the phrase “earliest possible bedtime” means.
I got hung up on how to do this because I am using a 5.5 hour sleep window, which Martin says is the shortest one to use. I think this compelled me to think I have to be in bed for that entire duration.
So in my hypithethical, if I didnt get sleepy enough until say 1:30am, then that’s when I should really go to bed, and the sleep window duration be damned (for that night)? Does that sound right?
Thanks.Thank you, Genie.
Ironically, the evening after my good night I was very “up”, and felt like my old self.
I didn’t have a great night last night, but I’m keeping on.
I hope you’re well.
Luke
*And in accepting the anxiety’s presence and not struggling against it, it lost strength.
Just to clarify.
It is common and normal. I’ve been experiencing the same thing.
I had a moment yesterday where I realized that for the preceding hour or so I hadn’t thought about disturbed sleep at all.
Then around the end of the day I had a mild episode of anxiety, which passed shortly after I greeted it with acceptance.
And last night, I had a largely anxiety free night (and without medication). It wasn’t a full night of sleep by any stretch, but I was not exhausted when I got up. Once again, I accepted the anxiety presence and didn’t struggle against it.
I say this to everyone on here: I love you. We are going to get through this.
Sincerely,
LukeSo last night was the first night that I didn’t struggle very much, in the absence of taking a sleeping pill. I actively chose to not take a Zopiclone.
It was not a night of uninterrupted sleep. In fact, I had very little sleep, as far as I can tell, however I employed the ACT-I approach of accepting the feelings driving my body’s response and as a result, I was very calm throughout the night. And I’m feeling very calm this morning.
This is a good step in the right direction.
Love you all.
Luke
A bit of a late reply, but I think you really nailed the key to nighttime wakefulness. No more struggle!
Accept…commit. Teach your mind, gently.
I remember from years ago, duting my first run in with insomnia as a teen, I think I naturally did something like this without knowing or thinking of what it was (pre internet).
Luke
I appreciate your response. As it turns out yesterday I “learned” how to be awake in bed, without struggle or worry, and simply classify it as rest, rather than heaping the expectation of “must sleep” on myself and the situation. The anxiety response is greatly reduced.
Have been doing a sleep window of 1130pm to between 5 and 6am.
A good practice for me the last two mornings has been being awake in bed for 15 minutes just after opening my eyes, while it’s still dark, as further exposure to restful wakefulness in bed.
If the last 8 weeks (since my episode kicked off this time – btw it seems I get insomnia every 15 years or so) have taught me anything, it’s that I can operate on much less sleep than I thought or remembered and still do the things I love.
The 3 good things list I find to be a great anchor.
Thanks again, and all the best,Luke
