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HI Mac – I slept better last night. Fell asleep after 1 or 2 hours and feel decent today. ACT seems to be working again. As far as special events go, I don’t know. ACT’s emphasis is always on accepting whatever happens so that we don’t worry about our sleep and inadvertently mess it up. I think that the more and more you can accept whatever happens, the more your mind will settle down and after while special events won’t be an issue. This past weekend I had a lot of stuff going on. When I was my fearful thinking during my relapse, my first thought in this kind of situation was to take a pill to make sure I could function well during the day. But this time I just told myself, I may not be in top form but I’ll be ok. And I was. I think you will be too if you can just accept whatever happens and go with the flow.
Whitelori – I really haven’t had to practice much mindfulness to help me with sleep because I can get to the place of acceptance relatively easily where I’m not anxious and just lying there in bed resting. But I realize that it would probably be a healthy practice in general to help me be more calm and centered. I tend towards activity and pushing myself to do things instead of relaxing.
Hi Whitelori – I attempted to start ACT many times since my relapse last several weeks ago, but I never stuck with it. I would give up and take an Ambien or have a drink. Also, I kept comparing my experience with how it was back in July when I had light sleep before I recovered instead of these long sleepless nights. The comparing was making me frustrated that I was having all these long nights instead of falling asleep soon and having light sleep like I did in July. Also, like I said, I was really afraid of having a bunch of long nights accompanied by zombie days and didn’t think I could deal with it.
This time I’m sticking with it. It’s only been 3 nights. I’m lucky in that I know how to get to that place where I’m just resting and not worrying about anything, and my mind is wandering. It sounds like you’re not there yet and it’s hard for you to settle down your mind. In that case I would really recommend you work with Dr. Kat. I’m sure she’s worked with other clients who have high anxiety and can’t seem to settle down their minds at night. It’s either this or doing stimulus control (SC) which is not easy either. But I’ve read it’s the best therapy for sleep onset insomnia, where it takes forever to fall asleep. Probably in either case it would help to get more support than just us folks here on the forum.
Mac – hope you have a good week of sleep like last night!
Delv – Great to hear from and so glad you are doing well! It’s been a little over a year now that all of us have been been on this journey together and we’ve all made a lot of progress since then. I agree with you that being too strict and worrying and obsessing about the rules – sleep windows, sleep diaries, naps, sleepiness level – whatever, can backfire and just make things worse. That’s why I switched to ACT.
Speaking of ACT, I just finished my third night of implementing ACT. After talking to Dr. Kat last week I was finally able to let go of comparing my insomnia healing in July with what I’m experiencing now. I realized that this was getting in the way. Also, I was experiencing a lot of resistance to doing the therapy. I was really afraid of dealing with long, long nights and being a zombie the next day. One night I could deal with, but the thought of this going on for a week or two felt completely overwhelming and I thought that I just couldn’t handle it. But I decided to take it one night at a time and so far it’s turning out to be not too bad. The first night I was awake for a long time, just resting and letting my mind wander. At one point I realized that hours had passed and I started to feel some frustration. But this time I let it go and then I felt asleep shortly after and slept a few hours. I was halfway decent the next day and was able to deal with things fine all day. The last two nights I think I’ve been awake a few hours and then maybe in light sleep, or in and out of sleep. I’ve woken up tired, but halfway decent again, so I can function fine. So at least the last two nights I haven’t had the conscious awareness of being awake for hours. So that’s an improvement. We’ll see where it goes from here.
Mac – how was your weekend sleep?
Well, I feel more hopeful about ACT again after last night. I’m finally accepting the insomnia I have right now instead of comparing it with how it was before. I laid in bed again calmly for hours. Eventually when I realized it had been hours, I started to get a little agitated and frustrated again. But this time I let it go. I fell asleep right after that. I woke up after 8:00 so got at least few hours of sleep and feel halfway decent today. I can deal with this.
Whitelori – just a comment regarding one of your posts on a different thread. You said that when you’re laying there in bed for hours, you never notice yourself getting sleepy. This shows me that you’re monitoring yourself which will never lead to sleep. Before I fall asleep, I don’t notice myself getting sleepy – the sleep just takes over me. So if you can, just let go and allow your mind to relax and wander, just like before the insomnia.
Hi Natalya – this sounds like what Mac has experienced. We’re another thread “Act for Insomnia.” You can ask him about it there. He was stuck and switched to ACT. He relaxed his sleep window and now goes to bed at his old time. When he wakes up too early, he practices ACT and lets go of his worry and then is able to fall back asleep more often. For more info about ACT, read “The Sleep Book” by Dr. Guy Meadows.
That sounds like a good idea, Whitelori. I’m trying to accept too and it’s hard. If I just can’t do it, I’ll go back to CBT-I too.
Yes it is hard after a bad night like I had again last night. But trying to find a way to stay positive today and not focus on how I feel physically, and then bring that to bed with me tonight. Glad you don’t have any nil nights anymore, David. That’s great and you have certainly come a long way!
P.S. If I find that this is just too hard and I can’t seem to completely relax and accept things, and it’s not getting any better, I might go back to CBT too.
When I did ACT back in July, I told myself that I would give myself two weeks and if it was just too hard, I could always go back to CBT. That was like a safety net for me and it helped motivate me to try it. But that time it turned out to be relatively easy. Not this time.
Karen – sorry you’re having a hard time too. To make an appointment with Dr. Kat, go to the sleep school website, click on the middle box that says Insomnia (not Professional or Baby), then click on Private Clinics. Go down the page on the left side where it says Book Video Clinic. Make sure you read everything on their cancellation policy if there’s any chance you might change your mind. If the cancellation doesn’t fall within a certain period, you won’t get your money back.
Dr. Kat is only seeing clients two Thursdays a month now. I would think there would be a high demand for this but I guess a lot of people never heard of ACT. During your first session you can ask her about half hour sessions if that would work better for you. Take care.
I had a good session with Dr. Kat today. Yes, Steve, I did have some time left over from August, so I was able to use that last week. This week is part of a paid session. I split the hour in half so saw her 30 minutes today and will see her again next week for 30 minutes. This seems to be plenty enough time to talk.
She helped me realize that I’m probably trying too hard and as a result are tense deep down, even though I think I feel calm. Back in July when I recovered so quickly I really didn’t have to use much mindfulness. But now I’m realizing that I need to start practicing it and hopefully it will help me be more calm overall and deal better with the fears and frustrations that come up (and any zombie days.)
Mac – Sorry you had a bad night. You always seem to get back on track though. I wonder if you could use more mindfulness too.
Yes, Dr. Kat said that I need to accept the sleep issues that I’m having now and don’t compare it with my previous experience. I’m not doing anything different. I’m tired every night I go to bed, so that’s not the problem. Especially lately I’ve been exhausted and still can’t fall asleep. Like the night before last I only had one hour of sleep and was a zombie all day yesterday. Yet last night I still couldn’t go to sleep and hours passed.
I didn’t get any of these posts after my last one. Guess I need to unsubscribe again and then subscribe.
Mac – it’s not really a lot of anxiety that I’m experiencing. What’s happening is that I’m going to bed, practicing ACT and just letting my mind wander like I did before insomnia. But I’ll lay there for hours, just not falling asleep. Finally at some point I’ll realize that I’ve been awake for hours and then experience frustration.
I’ve been keeping a sleep diary the last couple weeks in order to keep track of what I’m thinking and doing. So for instance within the last week there was one night when my thoughts were that I was so frustrated that it’s taking so long this time to recover in comparison to before. Another night my thoughts were that I was so frustrated because I’m so tired when I go to bed and yet still can’t sleep. Most of these thoughts came after lying in bed already hours doing nothing and thinking nothing, and not when I first went to bed. In addition to keeping track of my thoughts, I’m keeping track of my actions as well, in particular when I resort to a drink or Ambien to go to sleep. When I look over my diaries I realize that I’ve had a drink or Ambien many times when I’ve gotten frustrated. So I really need to learn how to deal better with my frustration instead of resorting to these crutches, or I’ll never learn to sleep naturally. There’s only been one time when I went for more than one or two nights without taking anything. I’m never going to heal that way.
It helped a lot to talk to Dr. Kat last week because I could then recognize more clearly that I’m not accepting my experience, but struggling with it, which will never lead to sleep. Last night for a change I was able to accept it. Again I lay in bed for hours and finally at about 4 or 5 I realized that I was still awake and not sleeping. I got frustrated but then reminded myself that this thinking is not helping me. I was able to use some mindfulness and just name the thoughts I was having, “I’m having the thought, ‘I’m never going to heal.'” “I’m having the thought, ‘This is just too hard to do.'” “I’m having the thought, ‘I’m going to be zombie tomorrow.'” Etc. That helped me separate from the thought, and then I calmed down. I was able to sleep a little eventually. I considered it a victory that I was able to deal my thoughts in a more helpful way instead of letting the frustration take over me and lead me to take a drink or pill. Now if I could just do this enough nights in a row so that my system starts to settle down and actually start falling asleep sooner. But it’s hard, especially dealing with things at 4 or 5 in the morning after hours without any sleep.
Hi Daf – glad you’re doing well. And thanks for checking in.
I’m having a hard time right now. This relapse has hit with a vengeance. I finally decided I needed some help so I’m working with Dr. Kat again. It’s helped me gain some clarity which I needed. Sometimes you’re struggling and not accepting and you don’t even realize it. When I had done ACT back in July, it worked so quickly, in less than two weeks and it was easier in a way. I mostly had light sleep and then it consolidated. So I wasn’t conscious most of the time. But this time I’ve had a lot of very long nights, where I’m awake (or at least I think I am) for hours. Dr. Kat pointed out that I was comparing my different experiences instead of accepting what’s happening right now. So I’m trying to accept the long nights, which is not easy.
Mac – how are you?
I got insomnia last year and as a result of my research have come to understand that chronic insomnia is a mental condition and cannot be healed through drugs or medical interventions. The only treatments I know of for this that work are CBT-I, cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia, or ACT. For information about CBT-I read this website and also watch Martin’s videos. He also can coach you through it and is an excellent coach. For ACT the best resource is The Sleep Book by Dr. Guy Meadows. He also has a website. I first did CBT-I with Martin and got good results. Later I switched to ACT.
