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Glad you’re doing so much better, Borgesbi! I’ve just finished 4 weeks of recovery. I still have some thoughts sometimes when I go to bed but they are just little, tiny worries and I fall asleep before I know it. This week my sleep was a little restless, with wake ups in the night. But this was because I was sleeping in a different place at my parent’s house on the floor on some cushions instead of in my comfy bed. I made up for the wake ups by sleeping in and then I was fine during the day.
Steve – When you wake up in the middle of the night, I wouldn’t wake myself up fully if I were you. I think your laying there and just resting like you did was the right thing to do. As of result, you did get some sleep even if it wasn’t solid. Just wondering, do you think your sleep is improving overall or not?
Nik Burn – I think the most important thing to accept is to accept the insomnia, i.e., accept that I MIGHT NOT SLEEP TONIGHT. Also, during that day that even though I’m tired, I CAN HANDLE IT AND IT’S NO BIG DEAL. Borgesbi sums it up well, “ACT has been working for me in learning to not overthink anything, relax, go with the flow, and just “not mind insomnia” either if I have to be awake for a while at night or deal with some uncomfortable symptoms the next day.” This is what cured my insomnia – learning to accept that I might not sleep at night. I took it one night at a time. For myself, when I was having too many uncomfortable thoughts and feelings at night, it helped to get up and write in my journal. Then I usually realized that I was not accepting my sleeplessness. Once I did I could relax and go back to bed, and many times then, fall asleep.
Check out the books below as well as this website. They describe two different methods for treating insomnia.
The Sleep Book by Guy Meadows (there is also a website)
Effortless Sleep by Sasha Stephens
Check out the books below as well as this website. They describe two different methods for treating insomnia.
The Sleep Book by Guy Meadows (there is also a website)
Effortless Sleep by Sasha Stephens
Steve – Dr. Kat always does the sessions only on Thursdays, not just in September. The online calendar is in your time zone so you don’t have to figure it out.
That’s weird Steve that you get emails from other threads. I’m a client too but don’t get those. You can always unsubscribe from any of those.
Nik – I suggest resting more than just a few minutes. If you can do it at work then lean back in your chair for 20-30 minutes and just completely relax, not thinking about anything in particular. At home you could lay down for a half hour. This would give you a more substantial feel for it.
Question – do any of ever stop getting the email from here announcing new posts? I’ve gotten kicked out of that again so have to come here directly to see if there any new posts.
Nik – what do you mean by strange hypnotic nights? In the beginning I had nights with a lot of dreams. I bet whatever they are, they will go away on their own.
Yes it sounds like you’ll be learning to be more aware of what you’re thinking. For me it was always “catching myself in the act of struggling” or doing something to try to fall asleep. When I would recognize that, I’d smile and say to myself “Well there you go again.” Then I could relax and go back to acceptance.
Steve – I contacted my insurance company and they said they would not pay for someone out of network. England was not in their network! I should have done that first thing but instead I asked the office for a statement which took FOREVER and several reminders.
Nik – when I “accepted” whatever happened, then I gave up having any expectations of sleeping and just told myself that I was “resting.” Then my mind would just start to wander and there was no effort to do anything. I did nothing. Just like before the insomnia. Sometimes hours could go by but if someone were to ask me what I had been thinking about during all that time I couldn’t remember because it was all random thoughts.
What was going on in your mind in bed before falling asleep when you didn’t have insomnia?
Maybe you need to remember first how to “rest.” How about trying an experiment during the daytime. When you’re feeling tired, close your eyes and just rest for a half hour with no expectations of sleep but just to get a little rest. When you know what this feels like then you could apply it at night.
Contributed to my recovery:
1. Supportive and loving husband
2. Flexible schedule – could sleep in when needed
3. Relatively stress free life at this time in my life – finances good, marriage good, kids are grown and doing good, good health, satisfying part time career
4. Spiritual beliefs – have had many other difficult challenges in life and with Gods help was able to overcome them. So trusted God in this situation too (except during my meltdowns, ha ha). Also have had many experiences of “surrendering” difficulties to God. Therefore could surrender my insomnia struggle and accept whatever happens relatively easily.
5. More relaxed about “rules” which for me are arbitrary many times (drives my husband crazy, the rule follower). So for instance when doing CBT I took a lot of short naps of 20-30 minutes which I wasn’t supposed to do. It really helped me a lot and didn’t hurt my sleep drive at all. So I don’t worry if I don’t follow all the rules.I’ve been out of town for a few days dealing with aging parents so just now read the posts. Thus my marathon comments. One last one here for Mac.
Mac – I’m sorry you’re having a hard time. I want to encourage you to read the posts here because we’ve got real champions here who are doing great jobs of learning to calm their anxiety- please read the posts of Gdsmom, Steve, Borgesbi, Nik Burn, Karen and others. Although you’ve come a long way in reducing your insomnia anxiety, somehow it seems to still be there beneath the surface, ready to be triggered. I think that if you were start practicing some of these tools like mindfulness, meditation and others, it would go a long ways towards reducing your overall sleep anxiety as well as any other type of anxiety you may be experiencing.
Just a thought for some of you who are going through a rough time after your honeymoon period with ACT. I know you’ve heard this from me before but I feel the need to repeat it. When I did ACT back in March I had no one to go to with my questions. There were no appointments available with Dr. Kat until mid April. Most of the time I was getting the light sleep all night or just a couple hours of sleep in the early morning and then waking up tired. I started to worry about my sleep thinking that I’m training my brain to sleep only lightly or to be awake all night until the early morning. Now I am certain that this worry only fed the insomnia because when I finally was reassured by the sleep doctor that this was normal then I stopped worrying and recovered. My point is that I think you are worried too much about the quality of your sleep, wondering if you need to restrict it, that you’re training your brain to be this way, etc. The very same worries I had. As a result, the worry is feeding the insomnia. Of course you may be thinking to yourself, well it’s easy for Deb to say this because she only had to persevere for two weeks and then was done with the insomnia battle. It’s already been 3 or 4 weeks for me and I’m not sure if this is really working or not. I don’t know why I was so lucky to heal so fast (well I actually do have some thoughts about that) but everyone has their own course so I want to encourage you to just be patient and keep going. If you see even just a little progress, even in your attitude during the daytime then claim that and cling to that hope. Some of you (maybe you, Steve, in particular) may want to consider getting help from Dr. Kat as Nik Burn is doing. Sometimes we just need the extra support and encouragement from a professional to help us feel more confident that we’re on the right course.
