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Steve – I think that was Borgesbi’s question and not Gdsmom. About my attitude when I went to bed, I didn’t have any expectations. I went to bed to “rest” and to accept whatever happened. Fortunately I only had one really bad night where I was up all night and then a zombie the next day. Even if I only slept a couple hours somehow miraculously I was “ok” the next day and able to deal with the day instead of being a zombie. I would tell myself things like my sleep “wasn’t too bad” i.e. manageable and that I could deal with it. So this helped me be accepting of whatever sleep I got and helped me not worry about the night.
Just a reminder that if you have any questions about ACT that now is the time to list them here so Nik can bring them to the sleep doctor this week.
Steve – just a thought. I’m wondering if when you wake up you’re using the tools to “try to go to sleep.” In other words, you are “struggling” to go to sleep. This happened to me a lot and then I would “catch myself in the act” of “struggling,” laugh at myself and then let the struggle go and get myself back to the place of “acceptance.” It’s so easy to slip back into struggling without even realizing it. Struggling will just keep you awake even if you are using tools. Accepting is key.
Borgesbi – here’s my understanding. Both methods break the association between going to bed and anxiety. SC does it by getting out of bed when you can’t sleep. ACT does it by learning to relax in bed instead of being anxious. Although there is short-term wakefulness with ACT, over time the wakefulness in bed decreases as sleeping increases. I used to worry that I was training my brain to stay in bed awake, but the relaxation more and more led to sleep. I don’t see any problem doing other things in bed. ACT is much more relaxed about things like that. Then again if you worry about it creating a problem then it probably will.
Karen – so sorry for your losses. So glad that you are sleeping better!
Thank you for sharing, Wsh. I’m sure it will give a lot of people hope. I have also recovered, having had 3 weeks of no bad nights. I used SR/SC and later switched to ACT completely. Some of the things you mentioned also helped with my recovery – a very supportive and loving spouse, a part-time home business with flexibility – I didn’t have to get up early and could sleep in whenever I needed to, time and patience, and I would also add, never giving up, no matter how many times I felt defeated, pulling myself up and trying again and again. Spirituality also helped me – When practicing ACT it was easier for me to let go of the struggle and accept whatever happens because there had been so many other times in my life that I had surrendered a difficult situation to God and then saw things get better.
Bluesky – You mentioned in another thread that you’re not a great reader. You can also go to the sleep school’s website and order the online course. Just google sleep school and Guy Meadows and you’ll find it. Of course the book is the best deal and it’s an easy read.
Sounds like you’re doing good, Steve. I’m into my fourth week of recovery. Last night I was hyped up after going to a jazz jam and singing a couple of songs there. I couldn’t get the music and rhythm out of my mind. Finally I got up for awhile and went back to bed around 1:30. All the time I was up, however, I had no worries about sleep. Just had to calm the music in my mind. Fell asleep right away after hitting the sack and slept till 7:30. The worries about any reoccurrence seemed to have disappeared.
Hi Bluesky – My insomnia started just like yours, with one bad night. I had it for 9 months. I discovered ACT for insomnia and it cured it. I am now insomnia free for 3 weeks. Check out the thread “ACT for insomnia” for other people practicing ACT and whose sleep is improving. The focus of ACT is on learning techniques to calm down our anxious/frustrated/angry minds so that the body takes over and then we naturally fall asleep. The best resource for this method is the book The Sleep Book by Dr. Guy Meadows.
Wow, Pam, that’s awesome! I had sleep onset insomnia and I remember being amazed that I was falling asleep in a relatively short time within the first week. Yes, it’s too bad more people don’t know about ACT or even CBT-I. I remember taking out 4 library books when I was looking for answers, all written by sleep doctors. Only one of them mentioned CBT-I and it was only 5 pages long! The rest, of which some were very current, didn’t even mention it. Even less people have heard of ACT. I’m hearing more and more about people who’ve had insomnia for years and thought that they were just different and had to live with it. Such a waste!
Gdsmom – it sounds like you’re getting better, day by day (and night by night). Keep up the good work!
Nik – It sounds like you are on the road to recovery, having some nights where you’re sleeping through the night. Yay! Just wondering, are you still going to talk to Dr. Kat next week? If so, could you please ask her a couple of questions that people have asked here? Maybe if there are any other questions people have, they can add them here as well.
1. What does she think about combining SR with ACT?
2. Are muscle aches normal in the first week?
I think you’ll be fine, Steve, if you just try to relax and keep going. Your bad night was probably caused by the worry about not having your usual wind down time and going to bed a little late. Accept that all that you do is for the good, like going out with friends! Don’t worry if you’re not doing things perfectly, because ACT is all about learning to relax and not following strict rules. Even with the sleep window, Dr. Guy recommends some flexibility of plus or minus a half hour.
But I know that this is easier said than done. Glad the tools worked for you in the middle of the night and you could get a couple more hours of sleep after using them and you have some energy today.
Padron – It’s been a long time since we heard from you. How are you doing? Are you getting better, or recovered? For myself, understanding that my light sleep was perfectly normal due to an active brain and that there wasn’t much I could do about it because it was happening on an unconscious level, was huge. Then I could accept it, relax and I recovered from insomnia in less than two weeks. I’m going on 3 weeks of recovery now.
This is the information shared with me by the sleep doctor, whose background is in sleep research. I didn’t personally look up any study. Also, in the Sleep Book, Dr. Guy says on page 39, “This is the primitive emotional brain center responsible for detecting the level of stress and fear in your environment. It releases the stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline, which help us prepare the body to stand and fight or run away in flight, otherwise known as the ‘fight-or-flight mechanism.” I didn’t feel the need to verify this either. It made sense to me because it seemed that something is going on in the brain beyond our conscious control that wakes us up or gives us light sleep. We don’t choose for this to happen.
Hi Pam,
I don’t know if you read the post earlier about how people with insomnia have an overactive amygdala in the brain, which controls the fight or flight response. That’s why you wake up a lot. The brain is on constant alert, even when you’re asleep. So practicing ACT will help the brain start to settle down. That’s why it’s so important to practice acceptance and the other tools. Remember Carlos in the book who took two weeks to learn to lie peacefully in bed. You’re learning new skills and a new attitude towards sleep, so it will take some time to learn this. In Carlos’ case, his sleep didn’t improve within that two weeks but gradually it did after that. So don’t be in a hurry. Focus on learning the skills right now, not on the results.
I know how it is to have doubt and feel like it’s not going to work and just looking for some hope. That was me, every time I talked to the sleep doctor. I was desperate for some hope that this was really going to work. It did.
