Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Nik – just a thought about your appointment with Dr. Kat. Make sure you read the Cancellation Policy thoroughly. It’s very strict and you don’t want to lose your money if you need to change your appointment for some reason. Also, get Dr. Kat’s email address from her as soon as possible. It’s difficult to communicate with the office in case you have any questions about your appointment. I had to cancel once. There was no notification that the cancellation went through. I had to keep bugging the office until they finally gave me the refund a couple weeks later. It was very annoying.
By the way, in case you’re wondering why there weren’t any appointments sooner than what you got, Dr. Kat told me that they take a “holiday” every year during the middle weeks of August. Oh, speaking of bugging the office, I also had to bug the office and then finally Dr. Kat to get her appointment schedule updated on the website. For instance, you may try to set up another appointment in Sept, but find that nothing is listed on the calendar.
You’re doing well Steve. You’re learning to relax more and more, which is what it’s all about. You’re learning to do “nothing” instead of trying to “do something” to fall asleep. As our mind gets out of the way, then our body takes over.
Sounds like everyone is making progress! Steve – for myself my sleep window was very generous because it seemed that with the light sleep, the more I slept the better I felt in the morning. Before the insomnia my usual bedtime was 11. I’d wake up anywhere between 6:30 and 7:30, and then because I’m lazy and had no need to get up early, I would doze until 7:30. When I was having light sleep, I allowed myself to sleep in anywhere from 8:00 to 8:45 when I seemed to wake up naturally. When my sleep started getting better and deepening, then I started waking up earlier. Now I’m back to my regular schedule. I’ve been sleeping well now consistently.
I’ve had some fears like maybe I’m just going through a honeymoon period and the insomnia might come back. But they’re not big enough to keep me awake. Now that I’m sleeping normally I’m realizing how strong the sleep instinct is. It’s so much stronger than this darn insomnia!
Nik – to deal with your worries during the day try doing the mindfulness exercises from the book and welcoming. Mindfulness will help you create some “space” between YOU and your worrisome thoughts. It helps you realize that YOU are not your thoughts and that you don’t have to believe all the fearful stories they tell you. When you can learn to create some space between you and your thoughts, then it’s easier to let them go. Also, when there’s some space, then it’s easier to welcome them and play with them like Steve does.
I guess for myself I don’t remember being bored, even though I could have been laying in bed for 4 or 5 hours or even more. I think I was just in this state where my mind was wandering and I was half sleep and half awake. So the time never seemed that long and I didn’t get bored.
I don’t know what you mean by “engaging” with your insomnia. Just accept that you may or may not fall asleep that night and then rest, letting your mind wander and doing whatever you normally do like moving around to get comfortable.
You’re very welcome, Borgesbi. Glad you can begin to relax about it now. Also glad that the tools are working for you so you don’t have to wait 3 days for the anxiety to go away!
Steve – I know what Dr. Kat would say, but of course the doctor will give you a better explanation of what to do. Since your insomnia is sleep maintenance, then when you wake up and can’t sleep, this is your opportunity to learn how accept your wakefulness. That’s great that you’re not having the negative thoughts or urges, so you don’t have to deal with that. But the fact that you’re tossing and turning shows me that you are NOT accepting, but are STRUGGLING with not being able to sleep. So this is your challenge – to learn to accept your sleeplessness in the middle of the night. When you do, then your brain will start to calm down and then the body can take over, with sleep coming naturally. Please refer to pages 72 and 85 in the book. You need to “catch yourself in the act” or become aware that you’re struggling to go to sleep. Then you can let it go and accept your wakefulness and just rest.
I explained it earlier on this thread, but I guess you didn’t see it. It was very important for me to understand this because this is what derailed me the first time I did ACT in March. I was finally falling asleep but it was light sleep – either in and out of sleep all night, lots of dreaming, or thinking I was awake all night but was probably in light sleep part of the time because my husband told me he heard me snoring. In the mornings I would be tired. I got very frustrated and worried about this, thinking that maybe I was training my brain to sleep light all night. Then I thought maybe I needed to add sleep restriction because when I did SR before, my sleep was good and deep. But this just led me to more confusion and in the meantime my sleep was just getting worse. Eventually I gave up and went back to SR/SC.
I asked the sleep doctor this question a few different times but in slightly different ways because I really had to be sure I understood her. So if you don’t understand my explanation, please ask for clarification.
The background of the sleep doctor, Dr. Kat, is in sleep research. She said that research on the brain activity of insomniacs versus “normals” has been done. They found that the amygdala of those with insomnia are much more active than “normals.” The amygdala is in charge of the fight or flight response. So while we are sleeping, the amygdala is on the alert, ready to detect any danger and wake us up quickly if needed. That’s why the sleep is so light. So even though consciously we may think we are relaxed, our unconscious is not. I like to make the analogy of a soldier who comes home from war. Even though he consciously knows he’s safe, it takes awhile for his unconscious to believe that, so he may have trouble sleeping, relaxing, etc. We insomniacs have been traumatized by our insomnia, just like the soldier was traumatized by war. So it’s going to take some time for our unconscious to really believe that the bed is safe.
When I finally understood this, that it was just going to take time for the unconscious part of my brain to catch up with the conscious part, then I could finally relax and accept that this was just a normal part of the healing process and then I stopped worrying about it. So I accepted it and then just dealt the best I could with the tiredness the next day, trying to keep a positive attitude and not worry or fret. I knew anxiety during the day would just feed the brain more fear instead of calming it down. Does this make sense?
Just ask her first thing about splitting the session. She can do it easily. But you may need the whole hour the first time just so she understands your situation completely, but maybe not. Before my sessions I would write down all my questions so that I could use the time effectively. She’s very good about using the time efficiently too. Also, I’m assuming you read the whole book, The Sleep Book, so she won’t have to reiterate stuff from there that you already know. Don’t want to waste your time. Of course you could always ask for more explanation about certain things.
Please ask her the question about combining ACT with SR. I’m very curious. Thanks!
Gdsmom – Glad you had a good night. Also glad that you’re getting support through talking about it with friends. Insomnia is nothing to be ashamed of! We didn’t do this to ourselves on purpose.
I think making a decision about ACT after a week from now is way too soon, Gdsmom. Just like SR/SC, it takes time for it to work. From reading the book, I got the idea that the average time is from a few weeks to a couple months. Also, for myself, whenever I took Ambien, it was like I had to start all over again because taking the Ambien is teaching the brain that we can’t sleep naturally. So it’s a step backwards.
Borgesbi – Glad the book is helping you. Tell me one more time – do you have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep? My insomnia was sleep onset and I could go hours without falling asleep. When I was consistent with ACT I finally started falling asleep within a reasonable time. But the sleep was light. I was very happy that I was finally falling asleep, but the light sleep worried me the first time I did this back in March. I think my worry about it fed my brain more anxiety and thus the light sleep kept up. When I finally learned from the sleep doctor what was causing the light sleep and that this was normal, I was able to accept the light sleep and just keep going with ACT. I was very lucky in that this resolved itself in less than two weeks, amazingly. It probably depends upon your overall anxiety how quickly your sleep normalizes.
Steve – Sorry you got hit with so much anxiety last night. When I get like that I get up and try to calm myself through journaling or something. Hope you have a better night tonight.
Gdsmom – Sounds like you’ve had a rough 5 days. For myself, whenever I took an Ambien, it set me back and I had to start all over. Just curious why you took it so early at 11:00? Frustrated after no sleep the previous night? What time do you usually go to bed? Also, is your insomnia sleep onset, sleep maintenance or both? How long have you had it?
Ron – I don’t see any problem with combining the two either unless the SR causes anxiety because you worry about not getting enough sleep. I may ask the sleep doctor sometime what she thinks about this. In March when I started going back and forth between the two programs it was out of confusion and anxiety. Finally on went back on SR/SC alone and stuck with it for 2 months.
We use FaceTime with our iPhones. I’m sure she uses other formats as well such as Zoom or Skype. Or just talking on the phone. One warning – their office is not very organized, or is understaffed. I would send emails to the office with questions and it took forever to get an answer if I got one at all. Once I talked to Dr. Kat I got her email address and things went smoother when she could get on the office administrator’s case to get back to me.
