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Delv – the fact that you’re getting frustrated shows that you’re still struggling. ACT is about giving up the struggle.
6th day of ACT. After I lay down last night I felt the old worrisome thoughts and feelings creeping in. I reminded myself that they are only thoughts and feelings, and that they can’t hurt me. They didn’t hang around too long. Took me awhile again to fall asleep – maybe 1 to 1 & 1/2 hours. Don’t know for sure because I don’t check the clock. I’m not worried about sleeping because I know that eventually it will come, which it did. I’m sure that over time the amount of time it takes for me to fall asleep will gradually decrease. Healing still needed for things to settle down. Slept the rest of the night and slept in this morning, making sure I got enough rest. Got up feeling a little weary, but this is from this darn cold/flu bug I’ve got, not from losing sleep. I got plenty of it – at least 8 hours.
There’s a huge difference between sleeplessness, which you experienced during your trip to visit your sister, and insomnia. My husband has a lot of sleeplessness due to Parkinson’s disease. Some of the symptoms are restless legs, going to the bathroom a lot and aches and pains. He can get up 2 or 3 times a night to go to the bathroom. When his leg becomes restless he gets up and sometimes stays awake an hour or more until his leg settles down. Same with the pain. If it bothers him enough he’ll get up and take something for it and then go back to bed when he feels better. He always falls back asleep right away. He does not have insomnia because he never worries about his sleep. Insomnia develops when we begin to worry about sleep and then the worry takes over and we start doing everything we can to try to “fix” it.
Regarding your comments, “I know I am trying to control sleep when I should let go. If I wake up at 4am, I should just be like “okay… cool ” rather than me thinking “ok I have 3 hours, how can I maximize my time to ensure I feel the best today. Should I relax with my eyes closed? should I get out of bed? Should I get a glass of water and try to go back to bed? Should I try the couch?” ACT cannot be done halfway. After all, it’s “Commitment” therapy, so an absolute commitment to the method must be made in order for it to work. You can’t hang onto even just a little bit of control, because this method requires that you give up ALL control over your sleep. I don’t believe that ACT can be combined with CBT. Maybe you can sprinkle in some elements of ACT like mindfulness, but then you’re really practicing mindfulness, not ACT.
When you give up ALL CONTROL and STOP STRUGGLING then your mind gets out of the way and your body can begin to take over and allow you to fall to sleep naturally. This is what is happening to me. But your mind will still be in the way as long as you hang onto any control or continue to struggle. SLEEP CANNOT BE CONTROLLED. The more you try to control it, think about it, worry and obsess about it, try different things to help you sleep, the more it slips away from you. You know yourself that on the nights when you “just don’t care” then you sleep well. This method will help you get to that point of not caring. Of course on a deeper level we all care and want to sleep well, but on a more conscious level we stop worrying and struggling with it and begin to have faith that it will naturally happen in its own time. We LET GO.
Now I am falling asleep naturally and it’s like I’ve remembered how to fall asleep again. But I had to get to the point where I was willing to take the plunge of having some sleepless nights along with the demons that might show up. To tell you the truth, it took about a month for me to finally be ready. When I first got the book a month ago I was still in the middle of doing CBT with Martin. I couldn’t even read the book at night because just thinking about it could wreck my night. So I only read it during the day, hours before going to bed. Finally over time I kept reading it, thinking about it and getting more comfortable with the idea (but was still scared to death!) Also I could finally read the book at night. The last step I took was to contact GM’s clinic to see if anyone there could help me with this. When that didn’t work out then I realized that I had to do it by myself. It’s definitely working.
Yeah, it’s probably just that I’m still recovering from insomnia, so the system is not completely relaxed yet. In the past I’ve had coffee at 4:00 and it was no problem.
Hi Mac – how are you doing? Haven’t heard from you in a long time. Some of us have switched over from talking on this thread to the thread “Sleep Restriction or ACT for Insomnia.” Hope you’re ok and getting better sleep.
5th day of ACT. Took some time to fall asleep, probably because I had a second coffee a bit too late – at 4:00. For the most part no negative thoughts or feelings during that period of sleeplessness. Remember one fearful feeling creep in for a moment but then let it go. Slept soundly the rest of the night. Don’t remember any dreams. Best of all, the nightmare is over.
Glad you slept better last night, Delv.
I was very athletic when young so that would have been the ideal time to learn. But growing up with a single mother raising 5 kids on a clerk’s salary in the inner city of Chicago, there was no money for anything extra. Now when I could afford it, I’m too nervous about falling. I’m very willing to take leaps of faith and risks, but not in the physical realm!
My husband learned when he was young too. He grew up in California and would go to the Sierra Nevadas to ski with his dad. I tried learning too late and couldn’t get the hang of it. Now I’m older and prefer not to break any bones!
4th day of ACT – slept like a normal person. Yay! But woke up with a sore throat so am coming down with something. Miraculously, I didn’t get sick the whole 5 months of insomnia. Now when I’m finally getting over it, sickness strikes!
Mac – haven’t heard from you in awhile. How are you?
Dragon – how’s it going? Did you do SR for a week? If so, how’d it go for you?
In the book you get the feeling that you will have access to their counselors. For example, Carlos calls Guy the day after a rough night. That’s what I was looking for because I could see how it could be difficult and would need to talk to someone talk to, to make sure you’re doing it right and get the needed encouragement to keep going. Like Martin does.
I think $400 is a lot to charge without much of an explanation of what you get for it. I emailed them asking if I could get some kind of brief preliminary interview so I could ask questions pertaining to what their program consisted of before plucking down 400 bucks. They said no. Also a couple times I asked if they provided any ongoing support after the initial interview and they ignored me. Must have gotten tired of my questions.
I know that ACT is scary. I was actually scared to death to take the plunge and tried to contact Guy Meadow’s clinic for some coaching help. But they were not very accessible and helpful like Martin and his website. You have set up an appointment a couple weeks in advance and it costs about $400 for an initial two hour long distant session with their therapist. It seems that Guy Meadows is not doing the therapy anymore. During that two hours they basically just take an assessment, give you a plan, and then send you an email once a week which I’m guessing is just going over one step each week of the 5-week plan. You can read about this in the book so I really didn’t need that. Other than that, you’re left on your own unless you set up another 1 hour session for $200. I tried emailing them, asking if after the initial session I could contact them if I got stuck and needed some help or had some questions. They never responded so I’m assuming the answer is no. Also, they don’t have any kind of forum where you can talk to others who are trying to implement their plan. So I decided to go ahead and do this on my own.
I have really appreciated how accessible and responsive Martin has been. Also, the forum has been very, very helpful.
Agree with Martin. If you address all the physical issues, then you’re left with the mental. My husband has Parkinson’s and gets up a lot due to restless legs, needing to go to the bathroom often, and muscle aches and pains. He is also older. Yet he does not have insomnia because he deals with things, and then goes back to bed and falls asleep right away. He does not worry about his sleep.
Thanks! He will! He goes skiing every year. For years he’s been lucky because as an astrophysicist he goes to conferences regularly. They always arrange to have the conferences at cool places like the Alps, Sweden, Aspen, Reno, etc., so he would get in his ski trip there. Otherwise, he goes to visit his cousin in California, who lives an hour from the ski slopes. I’ve tried it a few times and gave up. I’m not interested in trying anymore. But I know he loves it!
Third night of ACT. Went to bed with little to no apprehension. Was ready to accept whatever happened and go along for the ride. Was awake for awhile and then slept lightly all night, in and out of dreaming all night long. Had lots of dreams. Usually I don’t remember dreams but was aware of them this time. Last one was about being somewhere where there was skiing and all kinds of winter sports. Nice. Wish I knew how to ski. My husband’s going to Reno in a week to meet with family and ski. I’ll stay home with the cats.
Am tired again this morning. Oh well. I’ll take tiredness any day over the endless anxiety, worry, fear and frustration that I’ve been living with for months. I accept the fact that it’s just going to take some time for my sleep to settle down. Insomnia has traumatized the system and it’s been hyper-sensitized for 5 months. So it takes some time to calm down and realize that sleeping and the bed is a safe place to be.
Hi Frozen Sun – Yes! You can be your own therapist. Here’s some books to check out that will be helpful:
“The Effortless Sleep Method” by Sasha Stephens
“End the Insomnia Struggle” by Colleen Ehrnstrom
“The Sleep Book” by Dr. Guy Meadows
You can find them all at http://www.Amazon.com.
The last one has a different approach to treating insomnia than the first two mentioned. You can see which method appeals to you and then try it. All say that drugs and medications are NOT the answer! This is because the cause of insomnia is mental and not physical. Therefore, taking a chemical to change your brain chemistry does not solve the problem. Your thinking needs to change, not something in your body.
