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Chronic insomnia is a mental condition so natural remedies and prescriptions are not the permanent answer. There are two therapies that work. Both work to retrain the brain to stop associating going to bed with anxiety, which is what chronic insomnia is all about – anxiety related to sleeping. One therapy is called CBT-I (cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia) which Martin, the creator of this website, teaches. He’s got lots of great resources here. The other is called ACT and the best resource for this is “The Sleep Book” by Dr. Guy Meadows which is very readable and easy to understand. Its focus is on learning to give up the struggle to sleep (i.e., trying all different things like pills, natural remedies, soothing music, special curtains, etc.) and then relax, so that sleep comes naturally. It teaches you how to do this and how to let go of the struggle. I’ve tried both therapies but prefer ACT, which is gentler and felt more intuitive to me. But it’s also trickier, because you have to learn how to change your thinking about insomnia and then quiet your mind. CBT-I focuses more on specific behavioral techniques.
Chronic insomnia is a mental condition so natural remedies and prescriptions are not the permanent answer. There are two therapies that work. Both work to retrain the brain to stop associating going to bed with anxiety, which is what chronic insomnia is all about – anxiety related to sleeping. One therapy is called CBT-I (cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia) which Martin, the creator of this website, teaches. He’s got lots of great resources here. The other is called ACT and the best resource for this is “The Sleep Book” by Dr. Guy Meadows which is very readable and easy to understand. Its focus is on learning to give up the struggle to sleep (i.e., trying all different things like pills, natural remedies, soothing music, special curtains, etc.) and then relax, so that sleep comes naturally. It teaches you how to do this and how to let go of the struggle. I’ve tried both therapies but prefer ACT, which is gentler and felt more intuitive to me. But it’s also trickier, because you have to learn how to change your thinking about insomnia and then quiet your mind. CBT-I focuses more on specific behavioral techniques.
Mac – are you sleeping any better now that you’re at home?
I’m better. Still some sleep anxiety when I go to bed but have been falling asleep within a reasonable time. Been needing extra sleep since I’ve had this flu/bug so have been sleeping in until 9:30 or even later. Then I’m already getting tired by 7:30 pm. But I go to bed at the usual time. Anyway, I’m getting the sleep I’m needing thank goodness.
How’s everyone else?
Thanks for sharing. I found The Sleep Book, which uses similar ideas. It gave me tools to let go of anxious thoughts and “trying to fall asleep” by using different methods like pills. Then I started sleeping normally.
Yeah, Steve, I was thinking that you were probably alone. Keep in touch. We’re here for you!
Mac – so glad you’ll be staying at home for awhile. Hope the insomnia improves during this time.
Gdsmom – how about dropping off that husband of yours at an emergency room where he’ll catch the virus? Ha ha! (Bad joke)
Steve – I don’t think my insomnia has been affected by what’s going on. My husband and I are pretty laid back, just hanging out at home doing stuff. I’m concerned but not really freaked out about things. Of course if one of my kids got struck, that would be another thing. I do have some concerns about my son and his fiancé, a nurse, who live together. I hope the hospitals get their masks and protective gear soon.
I came down with a bug yesterday. It’s probably the sort of bug that I usually get about this time of the year. Anyway, I will just be staying home away from everyone. Very nice that we have such great technology and that it’s free to stay in touch with most folks, so that we don’t feel completely isolated. Any of you who here who are living completely alone, please stay in touch here so we can support you and make it feel less isolating.
Good to hear from you Steve, and glad that you are sleeping better. Mac, sorry you’re having such a hard time. Gdsmom – sorry you have such an inconsiderate husband! He knows you have a sleep problem and yet he forces you to have to get up and open the windows.
My sleep is so, so. The last two nights I didn’t sleep well and woke up tired. There’s nothing I can do about it though, like change my thinking, because it’s happening unconsciously. It’s the type of sleep where it feels like I’m in and out of sleep all night. I don’t worry or think about anything in particular when I go to sleep or when I wake up, but I’m just not sleeping well. Yesterday I took a nap and then felt fine afterwards, but was tired all morning before the nap. This morning I woke about 7:30, got up to use the bathroom and was very tired. I went back to bed and was able to get some more sleep. I’m good now. So I’m very lucky that I can take these naps unlike some of you guys. I’m hoping that this light sleep is just part of the process and that soon I’ll be sleeping normally again. It’s just taking longer this time.
That’s too bad, Mac, that you can’t stay at home. I was really hoping you could do that and get more sleep. Sorry also that this is upping your anxiety. Here in Alabama we’re behind most of the country in terms of new cases, but maybe that’s because we’re probably also behind in getting testing kits.
My sleep is “ok” these days. It seems that just when I say something with total confidence, I am proven wrong. My healing has not been a straight line this time as it was before and I’m still not back to normal. I don’t know what’s different this time, but it seems to be taking longer to recover. I’ve had a lot of light sleep, waking up not completely refreshed. But at least I can sleep as long as I need, so I’m always fine the next day.
Take care everybody and stay safe.
Welcome LCF. Sorry for all the difficulties you are experiencing right now with your long-time insomnia, your husband’s cancer and your move. And now there’s this crazy virus on top of all of that! I’m glad that you’re reading the Sleep Book and deciding that this is way for you to go. ACT can be tricky to implement though, and if not done right, it won’t work. So please come here with any questions.
Welcome back Tired Dad. For me too, this forum is therapeutic and sort of like a blog. I write about what I’m experiencing, get feedback and hope that what I’m writing helps others as well. Sorry your insomnia is acting up again, but it could be due to all the stress of your sinus problems and now kids at home. I feel for you. My kids are grown so they’re not stuck with me at home. I hope that this virus isn’t impacting your income with you being a musician and bars and restaurants shutting down, because that would only be another source of stress.
About re-reading sections of the book, I always think that’s a good idea. Also, I would take things one night at a time. At least that’s how I’ve always done it. I accept my insomnia to the extent of accepting it as something temporary, like an illness. But on a night to night basis, I accept whatever I sleep I get or don’t get. This helps me relax and then sleep comes naturally.
Mac – how are you doing? Are you able to work from home now like so many other people? I really hope so because then you might be able to lick this insomnia when you don’t have to worry about getting up early.
The last couple nights for me have been a bit of a challenge. I’ve had a harder time settling down my mind and getting into that completely relaxed state where my mind just wanders and thinks about nothing in particular. A part of me wonders why this is happening now and I guess I’m just meant to learn something new. Also, maybe what I’m learning might be helpful to someone else.
I thought about something you said, Mac, and had a realization. Of course thinking about this realization kept me awake even longer! Mac, you have said that time will heal your insomnia. You seem to accept that there are going to be rough periods and that if you wait long enough, they will pass, and things will get better gradually over time. Although I agree with you to a certain extent, there are other things to consider as well. I’m going to make an analogy with the marriage coaching work that I do. Everyone has heard the statement, “You can’t change someone else but only yourself.” I teach my clients something along a similar line. Sometimes one spouse is desperate to get her needs met in the marriage but the way she goes about trying to get them met is through attempting to control her spouse through criticism and complaining. But this ends up backfiring and she only alienates her spouse even further. So I tell spouses that you can’t “control” your spouse, but that you can “influence” them. What I mean is that you can create an environment which is conducive to a healthier relationship and to better behavior on the part of your spouse. So for example, instead of criticizing, try being nice to your spouse even when you don’t feel like it or think that he doesn’t deserve it. Chances are then that your spouse might start being nicer to you as well.
Back to insomnia. We need to create an environment which is conducive to sleep. Of course this is what Dr. Guy emphasizes all the time when he says to do things that are “helpful” to our sleep and to stop doing things that are “unhelpful” like trying to control it. I have found that when I’m able to get into that really relaxed and accepting state, then ACT always works and my recovery is quick and like a straight line with no ups and downs. But the last couple of nights my mind has been getting in the way. So I need to find what works to settle down my mind so that I can get back into that completely relaxed state again.
Mac, I’m glad to hear that you are learning more “acceptance” at night when you wake up. That’s a great beginning. But it’s possible that you also need to learn how to completely relax your mind, which will create the environment for sleep to come. When you do, I believe your recovery will go smoother without all these really bad spells. I remember Nik Burn talking recently about his recovery and how he had to experiment and try different things to calm his mind. Finally he found what worked for him. This is also what I’m having to work on recently.
Mac – I’ve had 3 relapses. The first one lasted a few weeks because I had 2 trips during that time where I decided to take Ambien so I could be alert during the trips. Also, I had some denial in the beginning of the relapse which postponed things for about a week. It only took a few days to recover once I finally got back on the program. The second relapse lasted 2 months because of mental blocks that were keeping me from getting back on the program. When I finally did, it took a little over a week to recover. This time I again had a trip so I decided to postpone the program until after the trip. We will see how long it takes to recover this time. So far, my recoveries have been fairly linear. I hope that is the case this time.
Sorry you had a bad night, Mac, and you’re a zombie today. But it’s good that you are learning more acceptance. I’m also trying to learn new things from each relapse. This time I didn’t have any mental blocks so I jumped right back into the program on the night I returned. I’m hoping the next time I relapse, I can nip it in the bud by practicing ACT the very first night I can’t sleep instead of slipping into frustration, or denial, or using pills or props.
Mac – how are you doing? The last couple nights I’ve been better. Took an hour or two to fall asleep each night but then slept decent. So things are moving in the right direction. Last night after an hour or more I thought about getting up and having a drink and reading awhile. But I made myself stay in bed because I’m trying to train my brain to fall asleep naturally, without any props or pills, just like before the insomnia.
One thing I like about ACT is that it helps you remember how to naturally surrender to sleep, just like normal sleepers do. I try to let go of any thoughts about not enough sleep drive or anything like that. I didn’t need a high sleep drive before the insomnia. Think about the example of depressed people, who sleep a lot. They don’t have a high sleep drive, but because they are depressed, they just tune out the world and fall asleep.
It’s possible that it will pass, but it’s also possible that it won’t. Insomnia is caused by anxiety over not sleeping. The worrying about sleep, perpetuates it. My insomnia started just like yours – with just one bad night. Then I started worrying about it and it got worse.
There are two types of therapy for insomnia – cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I) and ACT. Martin, the founder of this website teaches and coaches people using CBT-I. You can find a lot of information about it on this website. Another less known therapy is based on something called ACT. It focuses on helping you learn to relax in bed, so that you naturally fall asleep. The best resource for this is the book, The Sleep Book by Dr. Guy Meadows, who developed this therapy. It’s an easy read and makes a lot of sense. I have been successful in using this therapy.
Check out The Sleep Book by Dr, Guy Meadows. He developed an alternative therapy for insomnia, which most people have never heard of. It’s based on something called ACT. You can also find information at his website. I have been successful in recovering from insomnia using this therapy. It’s more tricky than CBT-I though, because you have to learn to change your thinking. It’s easy to not practice it correctly and as a result, not get any better. This is when people give up. So it’s best to get help. But read the book first. it’s an easy read and it will open your mind to a totally new possibility.
It’s also possible that you are not practicing CBT-I correctly. In that case, work with Martin Reed, the founder of this website, and he will help you do it right.
