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Good for you, Dragon. You can do this!
Delv – Glad you had a nice vacation with some much needed sleep. Here’s an idea for you. Since CBT-I didn’t seem to have helped you much, how about checking out Guy Meadow’s book, “The Sleep Book,” which is radically different? I’m reading it now and am intrigued by his approach. He addresses anxiety very directly, but not in the way most behavioral therapists do – for example, shutting out negative thoughts and emotions through relaxation exercises or replacing negative thoughts with positive thoughts, etc. In his book he gives case histories of people who greatly reduced their anxiety about sleep and were finally able to relax in bed, which then naturally brought about sleep. Just a thought.
Yes, unfortunately there’s not much room for error in the early phases. I’m still being very cautious after having 2 bad nights last week. I haven’t yet reached “the promised land” but sure look forward to it!
It’s not easy to do. It helped me to work with Martin because I was accountable to someone. I had to submit my sleep diaries to him regularly, so he would see whether or not I was adhering to the schedule. I also understand the importance of commitment after many years of experience. It’s not enough to “try” to do something. You have to commit or you won’t get results. That’s why I said to commit to 2 weeks. Maybe if you think of it in this way, that you are committing to only 2 weeks (but completely committing – not half way) then it will be easier. Either way, there will be ups and downs. But if you commit to the 2 weeks and keep a diary/record of your sleep, by the end of two weeks you should be able to see whether there was any improvement or not.
Thanks, Mac. Yes I’m feeling much more confident that I’m on the road to recovery and will eventually be able to put this all behind me. But for now, am taking things slowly and cautiously. In the meantime, I’m certainly appreciating the extra half hour of sleep!
Finished my 8 weeks with Martin this Saturday. Increased my sleep window to 7 hours. So far, so good. Two good nights of solid sleep. Going to bed at 12:00 and getting up at 7:00. Still exhausted by 12:00 so no problem with sleepiness. Will try to shift it to 11:30-6:30 because that’s when my husband gets up. Will probably stick with this for a few weeks and then raise to 7.5 hours. May keep it there after that.
My suggestions:
Hire Martin Reed – it’s worth every penny if you’re finally able to sleep again like a normal human being
Educate yourself – read Sasha Stephen’s book, “The Effortless Sleep Method” and Guy Meadow’s, “The Sleep Book.” Guy Meadow’s philosophy is similar to that of @stefmar above. He focuses on complete acceptance of sleeplessness (but not resignation) instead of always fighting it. Then when you stop struggling and get more comfortable with being in bed, your sleep gradually increases.
Handling Relapses:
- Accept that sleep disturbances will still occur
- See your relapses as due to identifiable causes such as stress and not as evidence of the return of insomnia
- Follow the strategies that were helpful to you before
- Don’t compensate for lost sleep – such as taking naps or going to bed earlier
- Sleep conditioning – get out of bed when you can’t sleep
- Follow a regular sleep window
Amazing, after only 5.5 hours of sleep last night, I feel good today. I attribute it to using mindfulness, which helped me let go of all the negative thoughts and emotions. I think it created the condition for deep sleep to occur.
Hi Goose, glad the CBT-I worked well for you. I’m surprised your therapist didn’t give you any advice about relapses. I’m just finishing up the course with Martin this week and this weekend will learn about dealing with relapses. Will share with you what I learn.
I would not give up, Daf. You didn’t sleep like this before the insomnia started. Keep looking for help – try Martin, Guy Meadows, Sasha Stephens – just keep looking! You may think you’ve tried everything, but it’s possible that the way you’re implementing it is wrong. Who knows? An expert might. Don’t just read their books – talk to them directly and ask them to coach you exactly on what you need to do differently. Then if even the experts say they can’t help you, maybe then you can say you’ve tried everything.
Focus on the breath is one of the technique of mindfulness but that’s not what I used last night. When I got up, I could feel myself getting all worked up about not falling asleep right away with all the negative thoughts and feelings associated with that. So instead of getting all caught up in the negative thoughts and emotions, I “observed” them like passing clouds in the sky, reminding myself that I’m perfectly fine right now in the moment. That calmed me down and then I was able to go back to bed and fall asleep right away.
Yes, sounds frustrating. Got 5.5 hours last night – not too bad – but only because I pushed my alarm an hour later because I couldn’t fall asleep for 2 hours. Was able to calm myself last night when I got up using some mindfulness techniques, so luckily things didn’t get worse and I fell asleep right away when I returned to bed. Learning some positive things through a mindfulness class to help in this process.
Sounds good, Dragon. That’s what it takes to make this work – commitment. Try it out for at least a couple weeks and see if you notice any improvement. Keep a sleep diary so you can keep track.
Mac – did you have a better night?
Delv – how about you?
I had a good night again.
Awww…Mac. Sorry it didn’t work! But I guess you learned something. Still need to go the course.
Me too. Am realizing the hazard of success. When you’re up, then the fall down from there really hurts! That was me yesterday with my discouragement. I had had only one bad night the previous week only missing 2 hours of sleep the entire week. Was hoping I would beat that record and have no bad nights this week. But alas. So I was both a physical and emotional wreck yesterday. Wanted desperately to fall asleep at 8:00. But after spending some time with my husband, managed to get a second wind and stayed up till just before 12:00. Slept all night. Yay!
