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Maybe SRT is better for those who just can’t get their anxiety under control. But either way, it requires commitment to the long haul and to keep going even if it takes many months to completely recover, which it seems to take for a lot of people doing SRT.
I know that ACT is not simple and probably needs more “hand-holding” on a regular basis to not slip off course, which is easy to do. I got the feeling from the ACT book that the folks who worked with Dr. Guy had regular access to him and this helped a lot in their recovery. Otherwise they might have gotten overwhelmed by their anxiety and any confusion, and have not been able to stay the course. SRT is simpler and you can do it on your own. Just follow the simple rules and it works for a lot of folks.
You’ve lost faith in ACT. That’s great that Monday was good, but then that set you up for expectations, which goes against ACT. ACT doesn’t work like that. Whenever I restarted ACT, it was always like jumping off a cliff into the darkness, not knowing if or when I would get better, but ready to accept whatever would happen. I just completely surrendered to the unknown. My first night I would always be awake most of the night. Then over time it would gradually get better. It’s like the unconsciousness part of myself did not yet trust that I was really going to be peaceful at night, so it was still on high alert. But then when I was consistently peaceful and accepting, the unconscious part settled down and my sleep got better. If you’re going to do ACT, Mac, you’ve got to go all in and take that leap of faith into the unknown, without any expectations.
I want to make the same offer that I made to Lori for anyone else here who needs extra support and would like to talk. I mentioned how to contact me in an earlier post. Lori and I had a very nice talk and it was great to finally meet someone here face to face.
Do what you need to do, Mac. I think what’s most important is to believe something will work. Since you’ve had success with SRT before, then go for it.
At the sight there are different ways to contact me through email or phone and it also connects to my website. If you phone, leave a message because I don’t pick up when I don’t know who is calling.
Lori – when I was looking for help here where I live I couldn’t find anyone either. I think that’s common. Even sleep doctors don’t know about CBT-I, and even more so, ACT. That’s why I went to the internet and was so relieved when I found Martin’s website.
I don’t know why ACT is not working for you if you’re doing it right. Why don’t we talk sometime? You can find me at Psychology Today online if you look for marriage counseling in Huntsville, AL. I’m the only “marriage coach” listed there.
Taylor – I know that accepting can be hard. Since you are a person of faith, think of it in this way. Think of the times in your life when you just had to turn a situation over to God and let go. It was hard because you wanted to do something about it, but you got to a point where you realized that you couldn’t, so you turned it over to God. Then over time you saw how God did take care of situation in His own way. It took a big leap of faith to do that and you had to surrender and give up any control. You have to do the same with ACT. Take a leap of faith, let go, and trust the process.
One other thing. That shot of adrenaline shows me that part of you is still monitoring your sleep instead of accepting whatever happens. Any kind monitoring will keep you awake. When this happens and you wake up don’t “practice any techniques.” Just accept that you are wake and then relax and let your mind wander like before the insomnia.
Taylor – When I was doing CBT-I, I was averaging 5 nights a week where I would fall asleep right away and 2 nights when I couldn’t fall asleep. It was very frustrating. I realized that on the nights I fell asleep right away that I had barely escaped the sleep anxiety. I fell asleep before it could catch up to me. But the other two nights the anxiety got a hold of me before I could fall asleep and then it kept me awake. When I started to practice ACT, I learned to accept whatever happened, including the nights I was awake most of the night, the light sleep nights, the nights where I was in and out of sleep, or like you said, halfway between sleep and wakefulness. As I learned to accept them all, my sleep consolidated and got better. So don’t worry about those nights but just accept whatever is happening each night. This will settle down your nervous system and then over time your sleep will get better.
Taylor – I also tried to think this way about my insomnia and this helped. How are your nights going? Are you sleeping better?
Maybe better to have a gentler attitude toward the awakenings instead of wanting to take them on as a challenge. Like “Oh I see that you’re still showing up because you’re trying to protect me. Thank you so much for caring for me, but I’m fine so let’s just settle down together and rest for awhile.” Think of your anxiety as a little child that just needs to be comforted at night by his mommy. Then he’ll settle down and go back to sleep.
That all sounds good, Mac, especially your attitude during the day. Just remember to accept whatever happens when you wake up and then just relax and rest. Don’t be alarmed by the awakenings or let them get you down. Let go any of those kinds of thoughts. Accept whatever happens and relax, and then I think you’ll start getting better again.
I really feel that your focus needs to be on relaxing and accepting when you wake up, more so than the mindfulness, unless that will help you get to the relaxed state when you do wake up. I barely did any mindfulness at all because I knew how to get to the state of acceptance and relaxation. Dr. Kat said that the number one thing that determines how it long it will take someone to heal is how soon they learn to completely accept whatever happens at night and then relax.
Mac – If I were you I would just try to make a new start with ACT. When I started, I committed to two weeks. I told myself that if it was too difficult and I just couldn’t stand it, I would quit and go back to CBT-I. Since you’ve got sleep maintenance insomnia and the healing seems to take longer, I would commit to 4 weeks at a minimum to see if there are any improvements. If there are, then just keep going. Don’t slack off until you are COMPLETELY healed. You will know when you are because you’ll wake up refreshed like before the insomnia. That’s what I did. I kept going no matter how many hours I did or didn’t sleep, no matter if the sleep was shallow – whatever. Eventually I was sleeping normally so I didn’t have to think about the therapy anymore then. If I felt any anxiety at all, I just told myself to forget about it and then I’d be fine.
I’ve had a couple set backs along the way, but nothing insurmountable. Around day 10, I had a “special event” where I had to get up early. I slept lousy that night. But then the next night I got right back on track. A few nights ago also there was another special event where I had to get up early. I couldn’t fall asleep and ended up taking a pill around 2:30 a.m. in order to get some sleep before waking up at 6:30. The next night I had some anxiety because of the previous bad night. But I reminded myself to let it go and how anxiety is the reason this darn insomnia started in the first place and then continued. It took me a little longer than usual to fall asleep, but I did and slept fine. Last night I fell asleep within the normal amount of time.
I say this to let you know that there will be set backs, but to just keep on going. Eventually your anxiety will become less and less and easier to let go of. Like me, remind yourself that the darn anxiety is the main cause of this whole problem so it’s time to let it ALL go.
Mac – I’m so sorry you’re having such a hard time. You must be feeling very, very frustrated and discouraged. I think this really bad week is a reflection of where you are at mentally. I wish for you to find hope somehow and make a new start. It seems like it’s time for you to get professional help and not just help from us here. Although ACT worked great for me, I didn’t have sleep maintenance insomnia like you so can’t give you best advice on that type of insomnia.
If I were you, at this point I would be willing to TRY ANYTHING including contacting a therapist for help. A couple of therapists have been mentioned here – the one that Martin interviewed for his podcast and I think I remember the other having an Asian-sounding name. Of course I always recommend Dr. Kat first. The fee for her help is between $190-200 for an hour session. After the first session you could break it up into two 1/2 hour sessions, meeting with her once a week, which is what I did. Between sessions you can email her and she responds in about a day. This way you would be getting professional help from someone who has experience with your type of insomnia and she could give you the hope you need. I believe that if you made a commitment to working with her for at least 4 weeks, you would see progress.
I don’t know if Martin considers CBT-I the ultimate approach. It’s just that this is the therapy that helped him cure his own insomnia and has also helped his clients. But in his interview with the therapist they talked about how CBT-I is like undergraduate school and ACT is like graduate school. In my opinion I think ACT is closer to the ultimate therapy because once you get it, it removes any and all anxiety related to sleep. And if you relapse, all you have to do is to remind yourself to let go of the anxiety instead of following a bunch of rules to get back on track.
