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Aw this is so real and you are not alone! It is awful when you feel so alone in the night and especially when you have the added pressure of knowing you only have a certain amount of time until your baby needs you again. I had exactly the same thing. I managed without meds and have also heard this is not a long term solution but also whilst you are in the thick of it with a newborn baby, this may not be the worst idea. However, do try other things too. I always find getting my emotions out helps, have a cry, scream into a pillow, wake your partner up and talk to them. Im sure you know all the other techniques if your on this forum but trying a bit of radical acceptance or whatever we call it here can really work. Try not to panic, your not alone and it will get better!
Wow this is so insightful and very well written. Thank you for sharing as it really helped me last night to stop being afraid. I do all the techniques etc but sometimes I cant stop being afraid of the panic coming in the night and the idea that you can compare it to other times you’ve felt this way and been fine really connected with me. Makes it less scary doesnt it. I started to normalise it and just say to myself “my heart is beating, this is a good thing. It is simply doing what it needs to do.”
