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Your post mirrors EXACTLY my sentiment! I am almost exactly the same way. I have been dealing with insomnia for 5 years total, on and off, and it came back with a vengeance about 6 months ago. I also don’t have much trouble staying asleep, mostly falling asleep. But once my anxiety subsides and my body’s natural drive to sleep takes over, I’m out like a baby. I also used to have frequent nights of no sleep, but I have learned to stop caring as much and to continue living my life as best as I can with little to no sleep. This mindset shift has at least helped me to get a few hours of transient or deep sleep on nights that I know usually would have amounted to zero sleep. My sleep window is 12:30-6am, but similar to you, I usually end up falling asleep finally around 4 or 5am so I’ve tended to push the end of my sleep window closer to 8am to get in my essential hours. Maybe we should try to wake up at 6am and the sleep pressure will come to us quicker!
It really helps to know that I am not alone in this process. Your post gave me some reassurance because it can really be nauseating and terrifying thinking you are the only one going through this process. Most of my friends who have insomnia also have trouble staying asleep and question why I can’t fall asleep, and its frustrating! Hang in there 🙂Thank you both!
I am still in the odd yo-yo effect of sleep, but at least it gives me solace that my body will somehow get the sleep it needs. Two days ago, I slept 7 hours which was a godsend. Then, last night I slept (felt like zero, but I dreamt so probably close to) 2 hours or so.
It is so incredibly hard to get out of this rut that I am in, and I feel AMAZING after those nights where I sleep 6+ hours every other night but then it is always followed by a completely sleepless night and I am lost again.
A good thing I have noticed is that after starting this program, I have become happier and more fulfilled in my life outside of the bedroom. I am seeing more friends and maintaining my social plans – albeit, sometimes these social plans can get in the way of a routine sleep schedule.
@czor- I really feel you on the loneliness in the middle of the night. I used to find that sleeping next to someone else would calm me down and help me sleep. Now, I feel envious and anxious when someone is sleeping next to me because I wish I could be doing the same. In those late night hours 3-4:30am, all I want is a friend or someone I can talk to. Luckily for me, I have my mother at home with me who has inconsistent sleep (voluntarily) that I can distract myself with.
I hope that I can get better soon. Do you have any experience with buspirone? It is not an SSRI, but I hear it can either help or worsen insomnia.Haha I hope you’re sleeping now! Right now, I’m just trying to close my eyes and accept that this is another sleepless night. It really is hard and it feels better that I’m not the only one going through this.
I would feel so much better if I could average 4-5 hours a night versus this hellish alternating night schedule. It really feels as if I forgot how to sleep. For some reason, I can nap during the day briefly but as soon as I climb into bed no matter how late, my sympathetic response turns on and my worst fears keep pounding into my head.
I’m even thinking of taking anti anxiety pills to take the edge off.
I prayerfully hope it gets better for us both too. Waiting for the magical “Click!” In my head that connects. I was sleepy earlier around 1-2am and I’m sure I slept a little bit for an hour or so transiently as I was reading but as soon as I dropped my book to sleep, the feeling dissipated. Feeling hopeless.Hello!
This is exactly what I’ve been going through for the past week. Zero sleep followed by eight hours of good sleep followed by another anxious sleepless night.
Currently, I have implemented sleep window– trying to sleep at 12:30am and wake up at 6:30am. I am awake again feeling very anxious so I have moved away from my bed and trying to enjoy my wakefulness. Hopefully something helps me because right now I’m still feeling really anxious as soon as I lie in bed.
