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You are right Bronte. Definitely a link between early experiences and insomnia. Those who are hyper vigilant tend to sleep poorly and don’t get as much REM sleep which is necessary in processing (traumatic) events so they remain hyper vigilant. It’s a bit of a cycle. I live in the UK and I agree that there is vey little understanding of what gets in the way of sleep. I watched a talk once from a consultant in a London hospital who was apparently a sleep specialist. It was all about basic sleep hygeine. At the end of the lecture she simply said that if you suffered from stress or depresssion you would have to sort that first! Clearly no clue. I got very interested in the mind/body connection and if I was training now would definitely go down that route, it’s such an interesting area to explore. The work around trauma is only at the beginning and there is a long way to go. And sadly very little understanding within our medical profession. I remember running into a couple of GPs at a trauma conference once which was a rare but welcome thing to see. I do feel I’m on the right track, I’m just not the most patient person. It’s been good to talk to you
Hi Bronte, Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and experiences with me. I can relate to so much you said, both the good and the bad. I too have trauma issues from childhood and have spent far too much of my life in hyper vigilance. I too am, thankfully, retired after spending many years working as a psychotherapist so I have less pressures in my life. I think it’s great that you got to the “I don’t give a ****” phase and that is certainly a place I am aiming for. I know everything you say is correct and is essentially Martin’s message but as you say it can be hard to not care in the middle of the night when you are just exhausted. I do have much more faith that I will get there and am beginning to trust the process more (and trust is definitely an issue too!). And I agree I am happy if I get 5-6 hours sleep, that feels manageable. I guess it’s a matter of keeping going and walking the walk. It’s really helpful to know that others are/have experienced the same issues. Friends and family who don’t suffer from insomnia struggle to understand what I worry about as they just make up a missed night’s sleep the next night. I have always wondered about what the focus of anxiety around sleep actually means, it’s something my mother suffered from too but I am trying to give up analysing and understanding as its use rather fruitless (difficult for the therapist in me to do though!). Thank you so much for answering my post and sharing your experience with me. It will help me to keep on doing the right thing. Good luck with your own journey
It certainly sounds like your sleep pattern has changed and I agree it can be hard to accept that sleep does not always work as we would like. I have suffered insomnia for many years and like you I have had to accept that 4 to 6 hours is often as good as it gets. There are positives. I have seen the sun rise on the beach several times which I would never have experienced if I was sleeping better. At least we know we are not alone waking at this early time. Hope you get some peace
What do you mean by your hours are 12 till 7? Is that when you want to sleep? It sounds to me like your body is telling you to sleep between 9pm and 4am. Perhaps your sleep pattern has changed as you’ve got older. I imagine this is frustrating if you like a long evening to yourself. What happens if you go to bed at 9 instead of 12? I also wake early (often 4 or 5 too) and as a consequence often feel tired mid evening and I do often have a doze. I don’t worry about it so much as generally overall I get enough sleep. I am more of a morning person so I don’t mind too much but like you would like to sleep later. I’m not sure it’s something we can control though. I’d be interested to hear other’s opinions
Hi Amanda. Be kind to yourself. Sometimes medication is necessary. At the end of the day you need to be able to function to work through these things. I am on a low dose (25mg) of sertraline. It has taken the edge of my panic and allowed me to think clearly. Since I last commented on Laura’s post over 3 weeks ago now, I have received Martin’s 2 weeks of emails and like Laura I am beginning to sleep better. I am worrying less about my sleep and my days are much more normal than they have been for the last 4 months. I still have days where the fatigue catches up with me but I am trying to accept them and use them as an excuse to catch up on a box set and cuddle up with my new puppy. I have been on sertraline before and know I can stop it without too many problems. I hope that this time my new learning about my insomnia will continue and will stay with me when the next bout comes, as it surely will! So be kind to yourself Amanda, do what you need to do to get through this and remain hopeful that, as Laura says above, this too will pass.
Hi Laura, thank you so much for sharing your story. I have only recently come across Martin reed and like you have found his words resonate deeply with me. I have suffered bouts of insomnia all my life. It has got worse in recent years and I have ended up on various medication. I have come to believe that my only way out is said medication and now that has also stopped working. I cannot tell you how relieved I am to come across Martin. His approach felt absolutely right. I should say that I have had a lot of therapy in the past, which has helped me in many areas of my life but not my insomnia. I now feel like I have permission to stop trying so hard. I also recognise limiting my life because of the insomnia and the constant anxiety and panic. For the first time in a long time, I am feeling hopeful that I can find a way through this. I have stopped thinking, I should…. Get up/meditate/nap/don’t nap/take more medication/come downstairs (I really don’t want to!). I know I have a way to go and that there will be hiccups along the way but I am glad to have found this forum and wish you well on your journey
