Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
The two most important things I can tell you is 1) Address this problem head on before it goes spiraling out of control like mine did. I am now going on eight years battling insomnia and it destroyed my quality of life to the point where I was suicidal. Make this as important as if you had any another illness. Do Martin's course, research sleep, use proper “sleep hygiene” and you will be able to beat this.
2) The process will be slow and sometimes while you try different approaches, you will have a set back and your insomnia will be worse when you try something new. DO NOT DESPAIR. This is very much trial and error. What works for some people battling insomnia will not work for you and vice versa. Ambien made me worse and more tired but for many it is a very successful drug. Lastly, if things do get worse and it seems hopeless, remember that at minimum you must at least have the courage, the hopefulness and the perspective of 13-yr old cancer patient Talia Castellano who recently lost her battle with cancer (if you don't know her story, look it up). She once told someone when they asked her how she could be so happy when she has cancer and she said “What do you want me to do? Be depressed? A little fishy once told me, 'just keep swimming, just keep swimming'.”
So, just keep swimming.
I have tried CBT to a certain extent but not as dutifully as I should have. I do know one friend who suffered horrible pregnancy induced insomnia and she did CBT with some success but her results were not consistent (she did not want to take meds while pregnant even though she was practically suicidal at one point).
I consider the wine as kind of like something that gets me over the hump a bit, aiding the Benadryl to induce sleepiness. If I am out with friends, I will have more than 1 glass but never more than 2. I have never been the type that likes to get wasted, just don't have an addictive personality.
I understand your desperation for help- I've been there. I am actually going to get a comprehensive sleep study done, my last resort. Not the one night kind- the one where you check into a sleep clinic for like a week. I told my husband that I cannot go on like this. So, my mother in law is coming to watch the baby and I am going to go. I am trying to work things out with insurance and once that's done, I'm going.
Have you considered this? They look at the architecture of your sleep, heart rate and monitor all kinds of stuff and then provide you with a report and recommendations.
By the way, I did acupuncture and it actually worked for me b/c I was like on a “high” and super sleepy afterwards. But basically I would need someone to come to my house and do it on a nightly basis I feel in order for this to be the right approah. Or maybe I should ahve gone several times and maybe it would have reconfigured me internally and I would have permanently been okay with sleep. I have no idea.
Hang in there. Hang in there and remember not to give it power. One thing that helped me too was not worrying about the fact that I did not sleep the night before the day after. If you focus on it, it gets worse.
I am still taking medications but boy did you hit it on the head when you stated that they lose their efficacy over time- that's the problem. To answer your question specifically, here's what I do now (listed below), including my sleep hygiene regimen, which 75% of the time works to help me achieve 6-7 hrs a night. The other 25% when it does not work, life is hell but this has been the best combination for me so far.
– Two hours before bed, I take *two Benadryl (not generic, the Brand stuff). I do not take any calls, answer any emails and my husband knows not to ask me any serious questions or attempt to bring up a difficult issue like bills, or anything requiring me think hard. He understands that this is my time to “decompress.” If someone needs to reach me well, too bad, it will have to wait till morning, or my BFF knows the code to call me three times in a row if it's an emergency. Then I pour myself a glass of wine or I grab a beer, then I break out an Us Weekly, People, Marie Claire or Vogue. This content is vapid, it's nothingness and reading about celebrities's lives falling apart makes me feel good about mine…Within an hour, I usually start getting sleepy.
*even if I did not have insomnia, I would be taking two Benadryl at least every other day b/c my allergies render me non-functioning.
– Then like 1 hr or 30 minutes before bed, I write down all the great things that happened that day aka gratitude journal (thank you Oprah!).
– Then right before bed, I take 100 mg of Trazodone and 1 mg of Ativan (when I am not pregnant or trying). Brush teeth, etc.
– Then right as I'm about to lay down, I grab my CD Walkman (yes, I said Walkman), and I listen to a meditation CD. It's aptly titled “I CAN MAKE YOU SLEEP!” by Paul McKenna. I have to say that out of all of the meditation CDs I've listened to, this one has been the most effective in helping clear my head.
I exercise and I eat fairly well too by the way (I'm a vegetarian and no, not one that eats pasta and french fries all day) which I do believe contributes greatly. Do I think exercise and eating alone could do it- NOT A CHANCE. Anyone who says so is a liar. My husband chews tobacco all day, never exercises, eats Subway, McDs, BK- you name it- every day and somehow manages to stay fairly thin, drinks beer occasionally and he can sleep 14 hrs if you let him.
Hope this helps.
DISCLAIMER: I'm sure that Martin has a general disclaimer somewhere but I would like to state on my own that this is the regimen and drug combination that works for me. I am not recommending or am I suggesting that anyone try any of the OTC or prescription meds I am on to treat my insomnia. You should discuss any prospective use of any OTC or prescription meds with your physician. Someone asked me what I am taking/doing and I am replying truthfully and that is it, without endorsement or encouragement. We all have different physiological chemistries, genetics, etc. which will impact the absorption of the aforementioned drugs. Be well and let's keep talking and encouraging one another.
First off, I just want to tell you that I have been there- where you are- and I completely understand the feeling of desperation and isolation. You feel as if you are just going through the motions and you feel that you would be better of dead but you don't want to harm yourself, you just want to sleep. Sleep is a very, basic human need so please do not berate yourself for needing something so significant.
Second, I want to tell you that it is a process, to learn to sleep again like you used to. You may have hit rock bottom but now the only way is UP. It will get better. I promise you it does.
Let me ask you a couple of questions:
– What initially triggered your insomnia or when did it first rear its ugly head?
Mine was getting fired from my dream job.
– When you try to fall asleep and can't, do you just lay in bed?
If so, please get out of bed if it has been more than 30 minutes and you have not fallen asleep. Do something relaxing such as stretching or read a lighthearted book or turn on a cooking channel- something that doesn't require thinking and is routine and doesn't have too much stimulation. Or write, write, write till your blue in face and tired (hopefully), about all the things you have to look forward to.
– You say that you have tried every drug, which ones? Please list because trust me, sometimes it is finding the right combination to get it right.
Also, write down all the reasons you have for wanting to life your life. put this by your bed side. read it to yourself before going to bed every night.
You are not alone. This is a crisis and the fact that you are here means that you are trying to make it better. Believe, believe, believe you can beat this.
And think about this: If I was the one that wrote your original post (read it back to yourself), what would you say to me? Would you tell me to give up? It's too late? Pretend that post was me and TELL ME (really you) why I should keep going. Then tell it to yourself over and over again.
