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I am recovering by learning that sleep doesn’t happen when I worry that it won’t happen. Nor when I try to control it with something simple and easy to do. It requires a real commitment to get emerged in recovery and to educate yourself about sleep and about yourself. It’s not a quick fix like I wanted but a gradual attitude adjustment that takes away that phobia and anxiety that the body and brain has learned, I have read stuff, listened to many You Tubes, etc, and am now in Martins program to have an expert guide me to pull everything together for recovery.
Very interesting. You seem better at describing your symptoms than me. I am going to pay closer attention to the nuances of symptoms. Mostly, I feel dragged out, like a hang over,and no energy. Like a hang over. But then I get that confused with how I feel after I’ve taken a sleeping pill, which I don’t do anymore, no matter what. Often I feel disgust, anger, and failure more than anything.
If you get the medical ok to get off the meds, go for it, but have somebody or a support system ready to be there for you. Don’t try to do it alone. I recommend Martins program as he’s an expert and experienced, otherwise people will not be sympathetic to you and that’s frustrating. My doctor said to me once: you don’t need to do this insomnia recovery alone. And you shouldn’t.
So, this morning I went to give a urine specimen as I complained to doctor of urine frequency. Well, could not go at lab and I got more anxious, telling myself how could this be, this is your complaint, and now what. I don’t have time to come back later to lab. I must give urine now, but how do I do it? Finally, after berating my bladder and myself, I gave up and thought about when I could return. As soon as I made that decision, I had a cup overflowing with urine! I thought that this is what happens when I am trying to go to sleep when I go to bed! And sometimes when I give up and go to couch in living room, we’ll, within 5 minutes, I go back to bed and right to sleep. I think of it as resetting my sleep onset. What is it?
This post sounds like me when you say: I don’t know what I am doing incorrectly. I just want someone to tell me what to do to sleep and I’ll do it. I keep asking friends how they do it and they laugh at me. I do all the sleep hygiene things I hear about and do them consistently. I’ve figured out so far that sleep can’t be achieved merely by my efforts and hard work. So now I am trying to think back to how I got here to this place.
MWatts, you’ve got a lot going on. I liked reading that you love your little daughter and your time with her. And breast feeding too is a commitment of time and effort too. Sounds like you are aware of what you want and your goals. Best, Spindledog
MWatts, I do not have ED Syndrome but have been evaluated for sleep apnea and now have a CPAP machine. I still have frequent wakenings, like every 90 minutes to 2 hours, but I know now that this is the way the stages of sleep are cycling, so I tell myself it’s ok and that it’s not insomnia, but it’s a sign that my body just completed successfully a cycle. And I feel confident and I fall right back to sleep. This is different for me than when I wake up at night and “can’t “ go back to sleep. Feels different and is frustrating.
I am just amazed at your story. You have been through a lot and I am so glad that you are in Martins program to get some direction and help. My very best of thoughts to you. I am optimistic for improvement and hope you are too. Let’s both put our all into this.Fabulous response, Martin. Makes perfect sense that could be influenced several ways. So much today about origins of generational trauma so I believe it’s complex as you stated. And the Predisposing factors add to the Precipitating ones.
Lynn bet, yes, I experienced positive improvements within 3 days. I was amazed. Proof that this can work!
Fear is an issue for me too. My sleep has improved and now I fear that the really bad insomnia will return! I’m worrying about what I might experience. Or what something means! A new idea to me is to lol at the fear as being protective of me, instead of fear of fear. Thanks
The idea of us sleeping as well or poorly as our parents and siblings is an interesting one. In response to my concerns about my insomnia, my brother told me that he has never had sleep problems and wonders where mine came from. Maybe it’s worry I have and I don’t think I inherited that. Interesting to me that insomnia runs on families.
