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Hi Mac. I’m 61 and have NEVER seen anything like this in my lifetime. The Governor has set new closings for the end of today so it is really almost like the shelter in place laws that are in effect in California. I know it’s a very stressful situation but at least we still have our jobs. I do feel very sorry for the people who are losing theirs. Just take a deep breath and remember that this will not go on forever. I miss the gym too as well as going out to eat. Remember though that ACT tells us we shouldn’t avoid any of those thoughts. Just acknowledge them and move on. I am just using all of these events to get my mind off of my insomnia. Hope you slept better last night. That goes for everyone here. Are you doing any better Deb?
Hi Mac – What do you do that your job is considered essential? I work for SUNY and although affiliated with a hospital, I work in the University section. I was sent to work from home and I am doing the best I can but I can’t get my home computer to connect with my work computer so I can’t do nearly the work I should be doing. I was told to stay home until at least March 31, maybe longer. I am going to be so far behind when I do go back. I am trying not to let that stress me out.
gsdmom – What do you do that your work is considered essential? I know you have your shelter in place mandate and while we here in New York don’t have that yet, it’s almost like having it since nothing is open.
I know these are stressful times for everyone but surprisingly my sleep has gotten somewhat better. I think because I focus more on what’s going on in the world which stops me from thinking about my insomnia. I also went over new ways of doing things with my counselor and over the last three nights, I have gotten over 6 hours of sleep each night, with one night being about 7 so I feel pretty good, although it sure helps that I don’t have to get up to an alarm clock every morning. Hang in there everyone.
Mac – Not really. I accept that I am damaged now but I also accept I will get better in the future. I am not resigned to this by any means.
Mac – I was a client of Martin’s back in May. Martin was virtually my only support person who I could talk to since I didn’t really have any immediate family members available to me. From my conversations with him, I thought he was quite open to practicing ACT as well as CBT-i. As an example, he told me I didn’t need to practice SC after awhile if when I woke up, I still felt sleepy and wasn’t wide awake. He knew the anxiety of SC was getting to me and causing me problems. He also suggested I expand my sleep window since I kept falling asleep before I got to my start time, even if it meant I might not sleep through the whole window. As for the cost of his program, when I took it, it was about half that amount so I was a bit surprised when you quoted the current price, and I admit that I probably couldn’t afford it now. But, I don’t know his expenses and he has to make a living too. Since he has been so honest with me in the past, I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. Since his business is subject to the laws of supply and demand, I would assume the price will come down again if his pool of clients starts to dry up.
Mac – The only thing I can tell you is what my counselor told me and that is that once you write it down. it gets it out of your mind so you won’t dwell on it.
Taylor – Oh, and good for you for ditching the Xanax. All benzos are highly addictive and getting off of them can be worse than getting off the hard street drugs. Even anti-depressants can cause withdrawal symptoms. You don’t want to add any of that to your insomnia problems.
Hi Taylor. Excellent point about Accepting just to fall asleep. I think I do that sometimes as well. We should be Accepting just to get us in the state where we can sleep. That’s a big difference.
Deb – That was an interesting post you did. I just wanted to clarify something. When you say to write down your thoughts after you wake up, you don’t mean write them down right after you wake up, do you? You mean in the morning, right? Or do you mean get up out of bed and write them down right away?
Actually, one thing you said hits the nail on the head for me. You said whenever you try something new you have hope so you start to do better and then relapse when it doesn’t work right away and you get discouraged. That’s exactly what is happening to me. Every time I start something new, I start sleeping better. But when the results start taking too long, I start to get discouraged and my sleep goes downhill again. That is definitely psychological and not biological. I always appreciate your input.
I had a blocked vertebral artery which is in the back of the neck and supplies blood to the brain (coincidentally the vision area of the brain) and they put a stent in there to keep it open so I wouldn’t have a stroke. I’ve often wondered if a small blood clot or plaque in the artery broke off after the surgery and gave me a small stroke or somehow disrupted the blood flow and caused the vision problems and insomnia. The doctors have take several CT scans since then and say they can’t see that any of that happened. They say the insomnia is all anxiety related. As for the vision problems which have really deteriorated in the last couple of months, they say it sometimes happens that quick in some people and new glasses will fix it. We’ll see as I’ve ordered the new glasses and I’m waiting for them to come in.
Mac – In your case maybe as I don’t see any other thing it can be. In my case, it’s either that or something did happen due to the surgery, especially since I’m having so much trouble with my vision and both the insomnia and vision problems came within two weeks after the surgery. But then I look at people like you who are having a very rough time and I think maybe the doctors are right and that the surgery didn’t cause it. Hard to say. I try not to think about it anymore but it is hard.
gsdmom – That’s a great idea about the new meditation, focusing on the positive instead of the negative. I’m going to give that a try soon.
Mac – Sorry you had a bad night again but I know exactly what you mean. I, too, have wake-ups where I feel fine with little anxiety but still can’t get back to sleep. Those nights erase all of the gains I’ve gotten from the good sleeps I get. I am taking the view like gsdmom does that for now, I am damaged goods and will just keep practicing ACT until things get better. Not much else I can do as I’ve learned by now that there is no magic bullet.
Deb – Thanks for asking for me. I actually am in counseling now and it does help although to be honest I think a lot of the anxiety that caused the insomnia are out of my system now. It’s pretty much all insomnia anxiety now. I just have to start stringing the good nights together so I have confidence in my ability to sleep again.
I wonder whatever happened to Burn (Nik)? I hope he is doing okay although the last time he put a message on here, he was really having problems. He was the only person I know from here who contact Dr. Kat besides Deb.
Deb – Thanks for asking. Last night was the usual. I went to bed really kind of tired and I fell asleep rather quickly. But as usual, I woke up within 45 to 60 minutes after I first fell asleep. That is something that has been happening a long time now and I don’t know why. I usually can fall back to sleep relatively quickly and then I will sleep until around 2:00, when I start to have a fitful sleep. Sometimes there is a wake-up before 2:00 as well, though again, I can usually get back to sleep relatively quickly. Then around 3:00, I usually wake up again. Sometimes I can get back to sleep until around 4:00 but I mostly am awake after 3:00 until the alarm rings at 5:15. I can’t say it’s the stress of having to get up for work because this happens on nights where I don’t have to get up for work as well. Sometimes I get frustrated when I wake up at this time but I quickly calm down and lay there peacefully in quiet wakefulness. I just can’t seem to get back to sleep after 3:00 or 4:00 in the morning. Hard to say why as I believe I am completely calm and relaxed after I accept the frustration, if I have any, after waking up so early again. So, I am getting 5 to 5.5 hours of sleep most nights. That allows me to go to work but I am still really too tired to do anything after work. I’ll just have to keep working on accepting things as they are. I am starting meditation classes this Wednesday to improve on my meditation skills. Just a couple classes to get some tips to see if I can do it better than I am now. I keep having this feeling that I am going to get better soon but I know with ACT, I can’t think like that. I just accept that that’s the way things are now and to accept them. I still do wonder if the surgery I had caused the insomnia but I just try to acknowledge that thought and go back to what I was doing. I have to say though that although I do lay in bed in quiet wakefulness, it’s tough to lay there for 2 to 2.5 hours. I get sore after awhile. I think I might get a new mattress.
I know what you mean Mac. A lot of the sleep aids I took left me feeling very groggy the next morning. Probably a combination of the sleep aid and the lack of sleep.
Deb – Yes, I add my commendations to you for helping us out on here. It’s nice to get advice from someone who has beat this. I continue to have wake-up problems but when I do, I am really relaxed and not bothered by anxiety at all. At least not that I know of. I also don’t have anxiety at bedtime anymore. In fact, when I am really tired, I look forward to it. I go there with the attitude that no matter what happens, I will survive the next day.
