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By ‘sleep pressure’ do you mean ‘sleep drive’? If so then be as active as possible during the day, avoid naps, alcohol, caffeine and bright screens after a certain time and stick to a regular sleep window that best suits you. Hope this helps!
Thank you Chee2308! I love the way you put things – You’re very articulate in your replies and there’s some useful points here. Merry Christmas!
Hi Judi
Thanks so much for posting this. It’s nice to know that all those nights lying awake are just ‘speedbumps’ in my recovery, and rather than being a waste of time are actually an essential part of my journey to eventually being free from insomnia for good. I like the way she explains that you have to go through these ups and downs so that your brain gives up trying to control sleep, as it runs out of ideas!
GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR OWN JOURNEY!
Well you’ve come to the right place. Have you listened to Martin’s video clips yet? So much good advice on them and he ends each one with the words ‘YOU CAN SLEEP’. There are also lots of podcasts of success stories, and some of those people have suffered longer than 20 years! He also does a free 2-week email course you can try before you commit to the 8-week tailored course. Here are some things I’ve learned recently which may help you:
• Tiredness/fatigue are not the same as sleepiness and you need to be sleepy to sleep – sounds obvious but you need to know the difference.
• You are not doing untold damage to your body by not sleeping – there is no scientific evidence of damage from long term sleepless nights.
• Your body will take the bare minimum of sleep it needs without any input from you – Just trust it to do so, as you trust your body to heal wounds.
• Leading on from the last comment, chronic insomnia is not the same as sleep deprivation, as with the latter you are not giving your body the chance to take the sleep it needs.
• Be careful not to turn sleep hygiene techniques into rituals which you can’t go to bed without doing, as changes in routine might mean you are unable to carry them out.
• Get on with your life as best you can the following day, so that you are not giving insomnia power over you. (You will be amazed how much you can achieve in life whilst having insomnia)
• Treat every night as a new start, forgetting past bedtime struggles.
• Finally, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!Hope this helps a bit and good luck!
Jim – I asked Martin the same question, as on one particular evening I was so sleepy that I couldn’t keep my eyes open and trying to stay awake was torture, but it was 1.5 hours before my sleep window. I went to bed anyway and Martin said it was okay to do so on that occasion.
Hi BaileyN, I’m no expert (just a fellow sufferer) but I’d say that as you haven’t had problems with your husband’s snoring before then something has happened recently to increase your level of anxiety about not sleeping. There’s always a reason or reasons if we delve deeply enough – Unfortunately for those of us who are more predisposed or prone to insomnia it really doesn’t take anything that obvious or significant to tip the balance and trigger sleepless nights. You’ve had it before so you fear it coming back which is understandable as it’s not pleasant, but you don’t say how you allowed it to affect you back then. Did you carry on with your life or give into it? Doing the former will take away its power and make it easier to overcome. I have a big fear of rejection so I worry about not being at my best the next day and therefore letting people down – Anxiety and the resulting perfectionism have always played a big part in my life, but up until recently I’ve had coping mechanisms in place to deal with them. Some big changes in my life in the last few years have upset this delicate balance (quite happy to share if you’d like as they might be relevant to you) – However I remain optimistic that I will overcome insomnia and come out the other side stronger. Oh and I also have a husband who snores badly, but I’m lucky enough to be able to decant into the spare bedroom, and I’ve learned not to feel guilty about doing so either as I know I’m not alone!
Fantastic! You’ve hit the nail on the head! We are all going to be stronger people in the end because of our struggles with insomnia – Definitely something to hold onto when we feel like crap! 😉
Michelle – I think you have to try and make your bed at home a happy place again. Stay in bed if you’re awake during the night only if you feel calm and confortable, otherwise get out and do something else to distract negative thoughts and only return when you feel sleepy. It may take some time but your association with your bed will change. I still have sleep issues but I’m slowly starting to love my bed again!
Ha!!! I’m 60 next year and still feel I’m learning about myself! Fortunately I have a very understanding and supportive husband who knows not to upset me if I’ve had a bad night – Annoyingly he doesn’t worry about stuff (he leaves that bit to me!) and could sleep on a clothes line. I wish I could be more like him but I guess this insomnia lark is character building if nothing else …….. 🙂
Thanks Ladysarah1985 – I sort of get what you mean as I’ve been afraid in some ways all my life! Afraid of what people think of me and being a failure in particular; therefore I feel I need to be at my best at all times which I can’t be when I haven’t slept, hence the viscious circle of insomnia!
Hello there,
How do you know you’ll be ‘non functional’ the next day if you don’t sleep? Yes, you may feel tired and sick (I know I do) and it’s not ideal but you will still be able to function. Just accept it as not an ideal situation or a temporary blip, rather than pre-empting an outcome which may never happen (thus giving your insomnia power over you). Also, whilst it’s important that sleep hygiene doesn’t become a ritual for such times when you can’t put it all into practice, there’s no harm in asking you colleague if you can keep the lamp on during the night. GOOD LUCK!
Brian – I feel your pain, I really do. The way I try to cope with my bouts of insomnia is simple acceptance of it, rather than trying to fight it. Martin advises carrying on with planned activities the next day, however bad you feel, so I try to practise this as much as possible though it isn’t always easy when you feel like crap! So in other words, carrying on living your life will take away its power and hopefully some of your anger. Another way of looking at it, instead of ‘why me?’ is to turn it around and think positively, i.e. that you are lucky it’s just insomnia, which is curable – You only have to listen to Martin’s podcasts to realise that! My best friend has Parkinson’s and I’m sure she’d much rather have my insomnia any day (or night).
Nikita – Perhaps the biggest help to me was realising that sleep will happen all on it’s own as it is a natural process – You don’t need to force it or try to control it, your body will sort it out for you. When you cut yourself your body heals the wound – You don’t need to think about it and it is the same with sleep. Once you believe this you will start looking forward to bedtime instead of dreading it. GOOD LUCK!
