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Emandk, I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this too. Well done you on tapering off the meds. I do believe, as Martin says, that the body will sleep. We’ve just got to a place where trusting it is really challenging. I’d just say, remember that before all this you could sleep. Your body knows how to, it’s done it before. Hopefully we can learn to trust that it will return to doing what it does best. Best wishes to you.
Oh, @BaileyN, I’m so glad that you are sleeping better! Are you following any particular approach? I totally understand that it’s a process with ups and downs, but/and we can be grateful for the good bits! x
Aw, thank you so much, @BaileyN! I will look at that book. I feel exactly as you do about having read a lot about ‘being with’ one’s anxiety/feelings and not knowing how!
I’ve been looking at a lot of Martin’s podcasts and other material and he does subscribe to ACT. He’s also said it’s okay to stay in bed rather than getting out. I think he has a more flexible approach to CBTi than some of the ‘made-to-measure’ approaches you read about.
How are you doing? It sounds like you have an extra layer of challenge with a little daughter who is wakeful. I do hope you are finding your way through all this. You sound to have a really good approach. xxThank you, Martin. 🙂 I’m struggling, to be honest. But I’m not really ‘trusting’ the whole process, I know, especially as my sleep has become worse since beginning it. I always – or almost always – used to fall asleep immediately and wake after 4-5 hours, then be unable to sleep again, or eventually sleep and then sleep in. But now I’m sometimes waking after 1.5 hours and then the anxiety kicks in and I can’t sleep again. I’m scared that this process is making my focus on sleep problems stronger and my anxiety worse and it’s become a bit of a vicious cycle…
Thank you so much, Martin. 🙂 Really appreciate your reply and it’s very timely as last night I woke and felt I HAD to check the clock as the previous night I’d only got 1.5 hours sleep. I’ve put the clock out of my bedroom but when I wake in the dark I feel terrified that it’s only an hour or so since I slept and feel I ‘need’ to check the time. The thing I’m really finding hard is the panic I feel when I wake in the early hours – and the fear that (as happened yesterday) I’ll be so exhausted next day I can’t do much at all. I know that I’m compounding the problem by ‘clock watching’ and monitoring, but I worry that, as I’m filling out the sleep diary, I’ll have literally no idea what time I woke and slept.
Hi BaileyN – sorry you’re experiencing this too. I really relate to the anxiety kicking in – it seems almost counterproductive, as the SC is meant to make the bed a welcoming and relaxing place, whereas at the moment, it can feel like a trigger for anxiety. It’s interesting that the first time you tried CBTi it had a quick and good effect. I wonder what’s different this time round? I’m finding that I’m in the living room reading/journalling for hours in between. I’ve never had an insomnia problem until the last few years, and wouldn’t have seen it as a problem until the last 9 months or so. I’m trying to adopt Martin’s great idea about doing an enjoyable activity and letting the uncomfortable thoughts and feelings be, but this is all very new to me (and I’m very early on in the process). I do hope you reach that ‘breakthrough’ place soon – was reading an interview with Martin and he said it can take up to two months for some people before they get to that breakthrough point. Well done you for keeping going for a month! I’m finding a week challenging so far!
Thank you! It’s reassuring and good to hear your experience and thoughts. I tend to perfectionise anything I do, in a very black and white way – I’m just listening to Nick on the podcast, and over and over again I seem to be hearing that the most important thing is to just get on with your life and what matters to you most and let the other stuff sort of travel alongside you but not give it the steering wheel (as Elizabeth Gilbert describes in Big Magic). I really like what you say about ‘regaining your personality’. That’s lovely.
