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I get it, and I do absolutely think I’d be afraid to have a second child because of my anxiety, but if you really want a second child, then you should have a second child. Otherwise you’re giving this insomnia so much power over you and your life and you just can’t do that. You deserve to live the life you want to live. I had the horrible insomnia when I was pregnant, and actually I was completely fine during the newborn phase. Obviously everyone is different, but you will get through this and once you do, you’ll realize if this ever happens again, you can get through it again.
It won’t! That’s just you catastrophising, it’s an anxious thought about your relationship and that’s it. It’s not reality, it’s not a fact. It’s just a thought. You’re going through a rough time and it’s understandable you want to talk about it with your husband. I was the same way. I did get a journal to write my thoughts down, and that did help me quite a bit to get all my anxious thoughts out. It didn’t solve the problem, but it helped. I will tell you this: when I first got insomnia when I was six months pregnant with my son, I had a complete mental breakdown over it, and of course, at the time I thought it was because of the lack of sleep. But now that the insomnia is back and I’m beginning to change my mindset around it, I’m realizing the breakdown wasn’t due to lack of sleep—it was due to my reaction to it. This time around I’m working really hard to just live life like normal, no cancelling plans, no putting things off, etc., just because of a bad night’s sleep. It’s really hard to do, but it is helping with my mental health, and this time around my approach to this insomnia is much healthier than it was last time. Now I’m just working on the anxiety part of it, that hyper arousal I get in approach to bedtime. That’s the piece that’s really hard, but that’s why I just tell myself it’s going to take time and that’s okay. In the meantime if I have a bad night of sleep or a few bad nights, I will be okay, my kids will be okay, I will be able to take care of them.
Hi chicca001, I don’t have much advice for you but I just wanted to say you’re not alone. I have a three year old and a 1 year old and developed insomnia while pregnant with my 1 year old. I got better for about a year and a half then had a relapse really recently. I’ll have a string of great nights, then a bad night that derails me. Last night I got about two hours of sleep, which of course was awful. I have the exact same intrusive thoughts as you—that I won’t sleep and then I won’t be able to function enough to take care of my son. What I will say is that I do think this is a process and takes time. It’s not easy to change your thoughts or not even change them but learn to accept them and to accept whatever happens regarding sleep. That’s what I’m trying to keep telling myself: that this will take time, that it won’t be an overnight success. I wouldn’t change your plans because right now you’re wanting to act out of fear and as hard as it is not to give into that impulse I think it’s important we don’t let sleep dictate how we act. Which I know is much easier said than done. Things will get better and this will not last forever, but I know that’s hard to believe when you’re in the thick of it.
