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Hi Packer fan. Nothing really more to add but some moral support for a fellow cheese head. : ) I’ve listened to podcasts where people all vary in their response and timeline. I’ve been in recovery from drugs/alcohol for 22 years. Over the years I’ve seen/ heard miraculous stories of hope and healing. Some require multiple attempts at sobriety some not. Point being insomnia seems to be a lot like it. What I know is as long as you stay the course you are making progress. You are not unique, it WILL work if you work it. Stay the course my friend!!
Went to bed a bit anxious last night knowing Sunday can be challenging because I am facing a week of work. After doing the NOW exercise, really evaluated my thoughts and realized despite my brain telling me how horrible it could be, in reality the nights continue to get better. I woke up at some point and ended up with a bit of anxiety, rolled through the AWAKE exercise and as a bonus dozed back off. Again that’s been a huge thing for me as typically I can lay there the remainder of the night. I also am at the point where I know I will get through the day and more than likely sleep well the following night. Doing the NOW exercise throughout the day has had a very calming/soothing effect on me when I allow myself to be open to it and above all remain kind to myself. I recall a similar situation I was in over a decade ago where I developed a psychological hick up for lack of a better word. I am an archer and at some point everyone develops target panic. What this involves is your brain not allowing you to hit the target, pulling the trigger on the release too soon, not allowing your sight pin to stay on the target etc. At one point it was so bad I was almost shaking when I picked my bow up and my mind was telling me how this was never going to end well. Finally did enough research and found out it was very common and some things which could be done to remedy it. It took awhile and it was a slow process, but I got through it. My brain retrained itself to not think of shooting the bow as a threat. So similar to insomnia where wakefulness is a threat. Thinking about that made me realize how the brain can relearn things even as an adult. Neuroplasticity I believe is the medical term in which we can form new pathways and let old ones die off from lack of use. That’s how addicts can recover. Hope everyone has a great day!
That’s awesome, glad it turned into a productive day! Today was yoga day for myself as well. We just got some snow last night (live in Wisconsin) so its beautiful out there today. Right on, changing how we respond I think is the key to taking insomnias power away. : )
But you had 12 days of good sleep just prior to this. Your not broken that’s for sure. When listening to the podcasts I often hear how progress is not linear, its one step forward two back, three steps forward and 1 back but when they stick to it things get better. Hang in there!!
That really stinks, sorry to heat that. Like Martin often says, anything worthwhile is hard. I wonder if you committed to the program again full force and then stick to it for awhile once you get back on track. All of this is about practice and staying the course even in the face of adversity. I totally get it though, on some of those nights when struggling would just reach for a sleeping pill. It helped in the short term but not the long term fix I was looking for. Heck I am only 3 weeks into the course so what the heck do I know. : ) Good luck, let us know how it goes.
I had another difficult night last night but like you went through the AWAKE exercise. My anxiety comes through as a hot flash when I wake up. I was able to calm down/cool off and I think i may have drifted off a little bit here and there but not totally sure. This is not a linear process as I have heard on many pod casts, wish it was. : ) Have not been thinking about sleep as much today having gone through a difficult night and really not feeling terrible which makes me think I must have got at least 4 hours of sleep. I like the idea that its ok to just lay there and rest instead of having to get in and out of bed. I like my bed and I can lay there quite comfortably on many nights. Tonight’s another night! Hoping you have a calm, restful night.
Hi Ruby-I agree 100%. I seem to be going through an very other night pattern of difficulties VS good. Last night was the second night of using the AWAKE exercise. Not sure if I fell asleep but eventually seemed to calm me down a bit. While doing it was trying to keep in mind this is about becoming comfortable with being awake and not falling asleep. The kindness part was big for me and thinking about the millions of others going through this. Bottom line was I was quite comfortable in bed and just rested until the alarm went off at 4:30.
Hi Ardnek-Wow that’s quite the story. Funny how at the core we are all so similar. I’ve just started the 3rd week. Had a rough night the other day but powered through and shortened up the sleep window a bit. Yesterday made sure I did everything I wanted to get done plus a little more. Always surprise myself what I can do on those days. You are so right about treating yourself with kindness. I can feel the anxiety melt away when doing that. Hope you are doing well!!
Almost forgot, I also listed to a podcast yesterday which really helped kind of normalize some of the things I was thinking and feeling. I guess I might not be so unique! LOL
Update to yesterday. Had a pretty restful night and shortened up my sleep window back to 6 hours. As I look back I had a pretty darn good day. Actually got more done than I planned on. Attended a late meeting in person rather than virtual to push myself. Got home, ate dinner, took my dog for a long walk and kept busy. Before I knew it, it was 10:15 and time for bed. Did I feel awesome, nope, had the physical effects of being tired, brain fog and heaviness behind my eyes etc. Plus my brain was screaming at me to go to bed early and get back on sleep meds. I actually treated my self to a caffeinated beverage about 1:00. Something I always enjoyed but cut out thinking it would help make sleep happen. I also find I am almost a bit more focused at work when fatigued as the normal brain chatter is not present because I have to focus harder which in turn can make a better work product. Powering through and seeing what a fulfilling day I had is very satisfying. You are so right Ruby, every night is different despite my preconceived notions because I am doing something different now.
Have a great day my fellow insomniacs! : )I am still a work in progress but believe the AWAKE exercise is going to help the more I practice it. Being kind to yourself is a big part of the process. The whole thing is knowing that even though you have a difficult night of sleep, you are going to do that things that bring you joy the next day. It is realizing that sleep does not have to affect our life as much as we think it does. At the very least I would recommend Martin’s free course to start with.
When my sleep window starts, I do not look at the time anymore. In fact I cover up the clocks in the rest of the house just before bed so I can’t see them until I get back. Just started working on the AWAKE exercise which helps you become at peace with night time wafefullness. I am on week 2 of Martin’s course.
