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I used to stress about not sleeping but then came up with the idea of a sleep bank which sorted me out . . . I have always been one to bob off early evening after my meal and got into the very bad habit of falling asleep c 6.30 pm . . . Waking up c midnight and then not being able to get to sleep when I went to bed. Martins sleep emails helped me immensely and this added to coming up with my sleep bank idea did the trick. I suppose I am still an insomniac as I am generally awake / out of bed doing some activity or other for at least a couple of hours c midnight ( it is not unusual for me to not get back to sleep before getting ready for a day at work ) and I can often feel soooo tired that I cant keep my eyes open but I don't call it insomnia now . . . I have accepted it as a sleep pattern that works for me. I still sleep in the same pattern but I bank my sleep and as I get my required minimum of 6 hours wherever this may be in the day psychologically I can cope. I had an early doors project planned for whenever I could not get to sleep and in the end I got to want to wake up to do one of my projects and yes, you have guessed it . . . I slept like a dream and ended up with more early doors projects than time ! I can't tell you how pleased my husband was to not hear the trill of the sewing machine c 2.30 am !
The key to it, in my opinion is to find a way to not get annoyed that you are not sleeping because as Martin quite rightly tells you c email 6 . . . The more you try to sleep, the more it will evade you !
I still go through phases of getting a bit vexed when I can't sleep and I keep meaning to stack up a few projects again . . . Another good tip is to get sleep when you can and don't worry that it is not in the ” normal ” part of the day like friends, family et al . . . Sleep is sleep and it will help you get back to the rest you so desperately desire.
I am so sorry to hear how insomnia is making you feel Olivia and totally understand from past experience of my own.
Your vivaciousness will come back and I am sure you still make people laugh and can still light up a room . . . the way you see yourself when you feel as you do at the moment is invariably not the way others see you . . . easy for me to say I know but I have been where you are today more times than I care to remember.
Try Martin's free sleep training course . . . it changed my world and I cannot reommend it highly enough.
The best tips I got from the course was to turn the clock away so you don't look at it everytime you wake up . . . in Martin's very wise words . . . you don't need to know what time it is when you wake up and you can turn over and try to get back to sleep as long as you know you have an alarm set if you need to be up for work, or anything else. The second thing that has always stuck in my mind is don't worry about being awake, I trained myself to accept that I have a sleep bank and I know I need c 6 hours sleep to be able to function well so I top my sleep bank up whenever I can. A snooze during the day on a Saturday and Sunday has turned into a real decadent treat . . . I tend to go out for lunch, or do a nice lunch at home with a bottle of wine ( shared of course ! ) and then really enjoy some ZZZZZ's during the day. I work full-time so this is not possible during the week and this makes the weekend snoozes even more of a special treat.
I am currently having a spate of being sooooo tired after my evening meal that I fall asleep c 6.30 pm until c midnight ( tonight it was 10.30 pm but it is a really busy time at work so I suppose things are whizzing through my mind ). Anyway I am not bothered that I am awake and I can feel my eyes slowly coming down and I am I going to top the sleep bank up again ( hopefuly ) after this message. The other relvation for my insomnia was to not worry if I woke and and to not toss and turn as this turns into a vicious cycle of frustration and lack of sleep ! When my insomnia was at its worst last year I used to have plan of activities for when I got up so I could keep my mind occupied with something other than worrying that I was not sleeping. This worked for me and it may be worth thinking about . . . especially as you are obviously very creative . . . I did knitting / cake making / recipies / writing / emailing / sewing . . . I had to stop using the sewing machine c 2.30 am as my husband was not a happy bunny as it woke him up and he affectionately called me the Wood Knome as I had a little industry going by the the time I had found a way to live with insomnia . . . note I said live with and not recover from insomnia !!!
Good luck with your insomnia and if I can help I will.
Tired Tedz who is now going to try for some more ZZZZZ's x
Hi Jessallie
Boy I don't envy you those 3.00 am wake ups . . . 3.00 am was like Groundhog Day to me . . . I could have set my clock by it until I took Martin's advice and turned the clock around so I couldn't see it !
Have you signed up for Martins free sleep program . . . sorry can't remember what it is called now, or if it is still available but it really did help me come to terms with insomnia and lose the frustration about it. A few of the best bits of advice for me where turning the clock around and not looking at it when you wake up . . . as Martin guided, if you have your alarm set to wake you up in time for work ( or whatever you need to be up for ) it really doesn't matter what time it is when you wake up and as I know only toooo well with my 3.00 o'clock . . . looking at the time and seeing how long ( or how little ) you have left in bed can add to the viscious cycle that is insomnia. Some other great tips were keep the room dark and cool / use the bed for sleep and s*x only ( ie no reading, or other ” non bedroom ” activies to pass the awake time ) and don't try too hard to get to sleep as the harder you try the less chance you will have of actually getting to sleep ( hence my activity plan ). One night when I had to get up I started to write a list of pleasurable activities I could do in the middle of the night when I got up . . . one of the downsides of the menopaws ( I know I have spelt it incorrectly but it looks and feels less AGGRESSIVE spelt this way ! ) is that you can't remember a thing from one moment to the next . . . I now ( well when I remember ) call it Sometimer-paws because sometimes I remember and most times I don't !!
Another of Martin's great tips was don't just lay there, get up and go back to bed when you feel tired again. I can't think of the other things which changed my insmniatic world at the moment . . . I am struggling to keep my eyes open . . . . another thing I dislike about insomnia . . . you can spend soooo long trying to get to sleep and then struggle to keep your eyes open when it is time to get up !
I was very lucky when I was having real problems with insomnia to find Groggy on here and she was going through similar things to me and we helped each other through insomnia . . . if you look at my profile and for my previous posts you will find the topic Groggy set up and our conversations ( I am sure it will be of no surprise when I tell you I can't remember the title of the topic ! ) . . . that will keep you entertained and amused in the wee small hours as it goes on for pages and pages and it is just conversations between Groggy and I but you may find some of them useful. We did tend to go ” off piste ” at times ( probably explaines why not many others on this forum joined in our conversations ! ) but I am sure there will be lots of information in our conversations that may help. Rather than thinking of being miserable in the cold and dark why not get a nice snuggly pair of PJ's and bed socks like I did for the wee small hours . . . I even got a bed jacket when it was very cold here in January !!! I used to sit up with a big mug of hot chocolate and before I knew it I was looking forward to getting up and being creative. I know you are feeling hyperactive when you get up at the moment but I think that is probably frustration at having to get up because you are awake and having to keep the noise down for others in the house. My husband is a very light sleeper and even putting the TV on could wake him up but I soon learn't to tune into the turned down TV. Accepting and living your life around insomnia is unfortunately a slow process and it doesn't happen over night but it can be done ( hopefully ). . . as I said earlier I am amazed that I managed to learn to live quite happily with it and it was an even bigger surprise to Groggy who was adamant that it would never happen for her after decades of not sleeping and it really did . . .
I am not ” fixed ” by any stretch of the imagination . . . as I starting my reply after I woke up a little disappointed early doors will testify ( I found insomnia much easier to live with once I downgraded frustration to disappointment ! ) but I do know and appreciate that I am one of the lucky insomniacs who has found a coping strategy that works for me and I really hope you can too.
Tired Ted who has woken up all achy after laying on her stomach again . . . at least I did get some really BIG ZZZ's and my sleep bank is fully loaded for another day !!!!!
PS – I found the ” Solfeggio 639 Hz ” relaxing app and downloaded it to my iPad and this really helped m
Well here I am awake after going to bed ( and sleep ) early ( c 8 pm ) but at least I have got almost 4 hours in my sleep bank . . . my problem appears to be ” being in bed ” and I seem to sleep much better on the sofa. I have now realised that this is because I cannot lay on my stomach on the sofa . . . my favorite sleeping position and the one I end up in when in bed, no matter how hard I try, or what I put in place ( tried and tried putting pillows between knees and around my body but the pillow fairies always seem to manage to move them !! ) I have a back problem and have realised that it is aggravated after laying on my stomach as this position causes aches from the top of my shoulders to the base of my spine and this ( along with my very weak menopawsal bladder ) wakes me up throughout the night and I am currently having a little blip getting back to sleep becase of the old aches and pains.
I used to get very het up and frustrated about being an insomniac because it wasn't ” the norm ” but thanks to the invaluable advice from this website and Martin / subconscious DIY CBT from myself and great support from my insomniac buddy Grogz I found a way to accept insomnia and I now class my insomnia as ” my norm “. This revalation took the immense pressure and frustration out of the nightmare that was my insomnia. I made the conscious decision to look at and tackle insomnia from a differnet angle and created my own little sleep bank that I topped up each night and as long as I got the required number of hours sleep that I ” personally ” needed to function ( no matter how many times I woke up during the night ) I was fine. I used to plan special interesting projects to do in the wee small hours when I woke up and in the end I found my creative side and even looked forward to my early doors sessions, sewing, knitting, pampering myself et al . . . I even baked and decorated my own wedding cake . . . I didn't intend doing my own cake but this was a lovely way to pass away the long dark hours and it was gorgeous. I have to say sewing away on the sewing machine early doors didn't work quite so well for my new husband . . . hence taking up the much quieter pastime of knitting !
Mind over matter won't work for everyone and I have to say that I am the last person I would have said it would have worked for but it has certainly made my insomnia soooo much easier to live with and I have to say that learning to live with insomnia has made me a much more positive person. My glass became truly half full once I found a positive to come out of ” my ” insomnia and historically my glass only ever had a splash in it . . . I couldn't even see the half empty bit some days as I was a pre-programmed pessimist !
I hope everyone gets at lest some rest tonight . . . whatever and whenever ” your ” tonight is
Tired Ted, who is just about to do a relaxing session in the hope of getting some more big ZZZZZ's in the bank sortly x
Thanks Martin . . . I have had an interesting sleep week . . .
I seem to have solved the slight awakening early doors . . . I have slept on the sofa ( luckily I am only short and my sofa is verrrrry comfty ! ) and this has meant that if I wake up I can just switch my iPal on ( it is strategically placed on the reclinig part near my head ! ) and see who is on Insomnia Land, or if I have a message from Groggy. I can also flick the TV on briefly, if I am really struggling once I have been awakened by a toilet stop ! I have found that since Wednesday I can just get up for the loo and then roll over Rover and get back to sleep . . . YEAH ! I can't believe how quickly 5.30 am ( getting up time ) has come around over the last few days ! Not saying that I have resolved the issue forever ( and I really do need to upgrade to being able to sleep through the night in bed ) but for the moment I am just celebrating my success this week and enjoying the sleep . . . Small steps !
I am always here and will always help anyone on Insomnia Land because if it wasn't for Martins inspiring emails I would more than likely still be frustrated at getting no sleep and behaving like the Grumpy Drawers lack of sleep had turned me into . . . THANK YOU Martin.
Tired TedZZZZZZZZ x
Silly Tired Teddy . . . I got my verticals and horizontals mixed up . . . Surprising considering how much time I spend in the horizontal !!
Hey Rusty
Thanks for your support and for letting me know I am not alone, which is a great comfort in the dark of night.
Great to see you taking a positive stance on insomnia and not letting it in ” officially ” . . . That is pretty much how I deal with it and you are quite right . . . My problem is not getting off to sleep . . . It is sleeping through the wee small hours.
I bobbed off c 8.15 pm on the sofa last night ( only awake this late because I met a friend for a meal after work ! ) I went to bed half an hour later and I fell asleep straight away . . . I woke up about an hour ago so I am half way there with my sleep allowance. I am starting to feel a bit bobby now and hope to be able to drop off again after I have sent this message.
I seem to have got into a pattern of falling asleep on the sofa c 7 pm and then having a slight awake session . . . Not enough to get me from vertical to horizontal mind you ! I then roll over and can sleep again until midnight, or more usually 2 am. I then go to bed and most times will sleep after a bit of settling, until it is time to get up at 5.30 am ( on a work day ), which is a marked improvement on the very poor sleep I was getting before Martins emails saved the day.
This is not where I had hoped to be but it is sooo much easier to bear and I now call this my ” norm ” and accept that this is okay because essentially I am getting more sleep than some people without insomnia but not necessarily in the right order !
How do you sleep, or have a problem with sleeping ? Mine started because of pain which was misdiagnosed and ultimately caused a delay in treatment. I have got that little problem sorted now ( well with long term medication ) but the delay and resulting continued pain had a significant impact on my sleep, or lack of it.
There are 2 good things to come out of my Insomnia . . . finding my insomniatic buddy Groggy ( I have asked her to start posting on here again ) and having a much more positive outlook. My glass was never half full or empty . . . I was more of a ” there is only a splash in my glass ” kinda girl but learning to live with insomnia has made me see that looking at things from a positive perspective really can make them easier to bear and make life more fulfilling . . . Watch out Mother Teresa !!
Oh well must close before I over stimulate myself and miss the sleep boat !
Tired Tedzzzzzzzz
I cannot recommend Martin's sleep programme highly enough . . . You get emails suggesting ways to combat insomnia every day for 2 weeks and they have changed my world . . . I am still awake anytime between midnight and 2 am ( or later, like today ) but I now view sleep, or rather the lack of it differently. Thanks to Martin's invaluable emails I have found a way to accept and live with insomnia, without getting anxious, or frustrated about it and I honestly believe that this is half of the battle with insomnia.
Martins programme is free so you have nothing to lose by enrolling but hopefully lots to gain . . . Even if it doesn't change your world like it did mine, you will, at the very least, pick up a few things that will really help.
Tired Ted
Hi Lily
Nice to have you with us . . . First of all have you signed up for Martins 2 week sleep programme ? If not make this the first thing you do and and it will change your world . . . Or at least the way you feel about insomnia.
I am one of the lucky ones as I only had insomnia from 7 July 2012 and found Insomnia Land at the end of December and apart from odd days . . . Like today . . . I am now in a much better place.
My insomnia was due to ovarian pain which prevented me sleeping, unless I was totally exhausted and after a long delay in diagnosis I was given treatment which reduced the pain so much I was able to sleep. Great you might think . . . But one of the many side effects of the injection is INSOMNIA ! Getting Martins emails and finding Groggy ( my insomnia buddy ) was just what I needed and I wouldn't say that I am a cured insomniac but rather someone who sleeps in a different way to the majority. I get sleep now but in pockets which I use to top up my sleep bank . . . I tend to sleep c 7.15 pm to 12.30 am and the watch a bit of TV / read / email etc and then go to bed c 2.30 am. Essentially I get the required number of hours sleep but not in one go and once I accepted that this was okay and normal for me my sleep improved significantly because the frustration of not sleeping like everyone else was taken away. The key to my success ( thanks to Martins brilliant guidance ) is to not stay in bed when I can't sleep and I refuse to toss and turn now and am quite happy to get up early doors and occupy myself until I feel I might be able to sleep and then I try again.
I was very fortunate to have Groggy struggling to sleep at the same time as me and we were there for each other in the wee small hours which was a great help to both of us and although I am not always here to post through the night ( because I am in the lovely land of nod ) I will be here to listen to how insomnia is affecting you and offer any advice I can as I know what a huge help this was for me.
One of best things I did was to always have something interesting / relaxing to do when I got up in the middle of the night because I couldnt sleep sleep and in the end I used to look forward to getting up to do my little creative projects so much that I forgot all about insomnia and before I knew where I was I was sleeping fairly well again. I am probably still an insomniac and but not in the usual ” I can't get any sleep ” way and I have learnt to accept and live with insomnia . . . in a way which works for me.
I really hope you get as much out of this website as I have and I am always just at the end of a message / post.
Tired Teddy x
Great to have you back with us Monkzzz ( you have been promoted to a sleep friendly name, now you are getting some ZZZZ's ! ) and it is great to hear that Martins emails are doing as much for you as they did for us . . . Dread to think how red and baggy my eyes would be now ( never mind how grumpy I would be ) had Martins emails not saved the day and weaned me off insomnia. I am awake in the wee small hours but my eyes are bobbing and I have had 7 hours sleep on the sofa already !
Good to hear the job is going well and they are being flexible when you start college . . . What will you be doing in the fall ?
What a flipping good idea getting rid of the let's do coffee brigade Grogzzz . . . Who needs 'em. I have kept to a close circle of ” real ” friends for years and they have been there for me . . . and I for them and it has worked really well. I see a close friend at work every day for coffee first thing and we walk ( and talk ! ) every lunchtime but we don't tend to see each other outside of work as we both have other friends for that but we do go out for meals to celebrate birthdays / Christmas and my wedding of course ! I have recently caught up with 3 friends I haven't seen for years through Facebook and am really looking forward to meeting up with them soon. I am having a girlie hen lunch with one and her granddaughter in a few weeks, another I am meeting after our big day as I can't possibly fit another meal in before or I will need even more spooning in my dress ! The third one is someone my friend with the granddaughter and I used to work with in a pub over 20 years ago and she moved far away from our area 17 years ago so we are all going to meet up somewhere in the middle. The good thing about these friends ( as with a lot of the ones I have had over the years ) is that we may not see each other for years but it is just the same when we do . . . Nobody complains that the other didn't get in touch, we just enjoy each others company as and when life allows and this works perfectly as you are not always having to do something you don't want to do to keep your friendship going.
I am pleased you can still see positive qualities in your bust up buddy and why you are friends and I hope it isn't too long before you are back on the friendship path. I tend to have quieter friends than myself . . . Think someone as loud as me would probably kill me if we were friends . . . Unless I killed her first of course !!!!! Oh and I wouldn't be able to talk about ME, ME, ME so much with a loud buddy and that would never do !!!
Making this one short and sweet as I don't want to miss the sleep moment as I so often do when posting away early doors . . . Think I will do a bit of Solfeggio 639 as I haven't done it for weeks . . . Note to self . . . Remember how things get better all on their own, once you start to look at them from a different / more positive view point.
Hope you are both in the land of nod, or a relaxed and happy place.
Tired Ted . . . . Soon to be Tedzzzzzzzzz x
PS . . . . Can't wait for your good news today Grogzzz
Awwww Grogz . . . That is all you need after things have been going so well. I once lost a friend because of a message I sent in the heat of the moment and I now get everything off my chest and saved to a Word document which I save over night and read the next morning in the cold light of say before pressing send ! I tend to find that I dont feel so bad the following day and I usually delete the hurtful things as I don't generally mean them, or more to the point let people I care about know I have thought them.
I do have to say however that I don't regret losing the friend I lost but I do regret the way it happened. I had always been a good friend to her and listened to her woes with work and when married men that let her down but when one of the married men started a proper relationship with her she was never there for me. I once really needed to talk to a friend who knew how problematic office problems / politics can be ( Mr M doesn't understand them as he works outside ) and she wasn't there for me . . . I sent a text on a Monday to say how low I was because of problems at work and she asked if I was in for a chat on Saturday ( when her new man was out ! ) !!!! I started to pull away from this point as I had always made time to talk to her when she needed a friend, even though I had Mr M and he regularly encouraged her to come to our house and would leave us alone for a confident chat and then come and try to cheer her up. When Mr M was in hospital our mutual friend told her that he was really ill and it didn't look like he would make it and she thanked our friend for letting her know but said she wouldn't be getting in touch. I wasn't bothered about her not contacting me but I will never forget her not being interested enough to know how Mr M was, especially as he had always been so welcoming when she needed a friend . . . I didn't expect to renew our friendship but I do think she could have sent a quick text or email to wish him well as he had been so ill. I don't like falling out with people as life is too short but I really do believe that people come into your life for a season, a reason or for life and I was obviously a ” reason ” to help her get through all her years of being single and I would look the other way if I see her now . . . Can't see me being able to do that as I was dragged up proper . . . but that is all she deserves !! Our mutual friend doesn't see her now either as she always keeps cancelling arrangements they make to meet, or she was tooooo busy to meet her . . . Never seen such a case of someone dropping all of their friends when they get a man but good luck to her.
Wow . . . I thought I had got over this but clearly not !!!!!! Why don't you send another message to you friend saying you were tired and didn't mean what you had put . . . You don't have to say sorry . . . I learnt years ago to say ” I apologise ” instead of I am sorry and inside you are really saying ” I don't give a t*ss ” but it is perceived as I am sorry and makes the other person think you feel sorry !!! Here is another positive of insomnia . . . . You can use it as a make up tool when things go wrong !!!!
I slept from c 7.15 pm until just after midnight last night ( needed a toilet break ) . . . I couldn't keep my eyes open so I got the quilt and laid on the sofa as I was too tired to wake up but didn't feel that I could go to the big bye bo's and wake Mr M up as I wasn't sure I was going to be able to sleep. I woke up at 3.30 am . . . Seems really odd to do this now and be back On Insomnia Land but here I am . . . I am going to get some more wool today so I can have another project in hand for the early hours . . . Better to be prepared than frustrated early doors as we know first hand . . . Don't know why I am worrying about it as I have had more than enough sleep in the bank.
Oh well I will close now as I lost the start of my first message when I picked my iPad back up after going to the loo and don't want to lose it again before pressing post !!!
Try not to be too angry about the spat with your friend and keep thinking abouty your good news tomorrow. Your friend could be having a bad time herself and didn't mean to write what she did in the cold light of day . . . Someone has to make the first move to put it right and the longer it takes, the more chance you have of your fiendship paying the price and life is too short to lose friends . . . Well good ones anyway !!!
Tired Teddy who is good a giving advice but not necessarily good at taking her own advice !!!!!
Hi Martin
Only just seen this post . . . I watch and love Downton Abbey . . . Which series are you up to in the States ?
Tired Ted
Great to hear you have started Martins sleep therapy and I hope you get as much out of it as I did.
Congratulations on getting a new job . . . when do you start ? What type of work do you do ? I am an administrator and used to take work home and could never switch off and then I had a problem with my health and didn't get treated very well by my work place and I have changed my attitude now. I couldn't sleep for pain when I laid down . . . It wasn't agony but it was enough to stop me getting to sleep, unless I was exhausted. This is when my insomnia started and it then got worse when I had to take injections to help with my problems and one of the injection side effects is insomnia. I had a real problem getting a diqgnosis due to negligent care by my local health care provider and this led a long delay in getting a treatment plan and my work place took no diagnosis to mean no medical illness and I was extremely disappointed in the way I was treated. This treatment made me evaluate my work ethic and I now go to work to do my job and come home and switch off, which has made a world of difference to my life. I still work hard but I don't stress if I can't get something done now and it just has to wait until tomorrow . . . Thers one reason to be happy for the rough time I have had recently . . . I have always been a believer that everything happens for a reason but it isn't easy to see this when things are not going well.
I am sleeping too much now and can't seem to keep awake early evening but I am putting it down to my body catching up on its lost sleep and not worrying about it . . . Not sure if I prefer too much, or not enough sleep !
Take care and enjoy the rest of your weekend
Tired Teddy x
Hi M0NK3Y
First of all . . . I am soooo sorry for the delay in my reply. I have been waiting to get to a computer with a proper keyboard to reply as I find my iPad great for surfing the net and reading messages but terrible for replying at times like now when I am so tired I can't keep my eyes open. Plus I am a trained typist so it still feels alien to not touch type !
I am still having real trouble keeping my eyes open and when that happens I spend ages correcting my typing mistakes! Anyway . . . I never seem to remember to send you a reply when I am on a proper computer so I am going to do a quick reply now as I am very conscious that I promised to be here to help you through insomnia and haven't !
I am so pleased to hear your sleep got a bit better at the weekend . . . Do you think your sleep problem could be due to anxiety about going to work, or being able to feel awake enough to cope at work as your sleep was so much better at the weekend ?
I like baking too but daren't bake too much as I eat it and and would put even more weight on !
Have you signed up for Martins free 2 week course ? It really worked for me and Groggy . . . so much so that now I can't seek to keep awake !
Oh well I will close now as my eyes are going again and I have only been awake 20 minutes !
Take care and post to you soon
Tired Teddy x
