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I would highly recommend having professional help to get off lunesta. Do not attempt it on your own.
@Sees1970 I have been practicing what I can from things I’ve learned from Martin’s course. Because Martin can’t offer medical advice or counseling, I did have to seek additional help since I was I was on my own weaning off a z drug that led to a terrible withdrawal which led to a version of myself I have never seen before. Am I where I want to be? No. But am I where I was? No. So I’m pretty much working on acceptance. How are you? I thought about messaging you outside this platform but didn’t want to intrude on your privacy.
Thank you for your reply and yes I’ve been doing deep breathing regularly (2x a day for 15-20 minutes) for the last few months. And right now I am thankful for some “temporary relief.” And yes people can be dealing with this level of insomnia whether they are withdrawing or not. But I noticed a definite difference not just in the severity of insomnia but in all the above mentioned things as well.
What my husband and I have noticed is rebound insomnia is not the same animal we were dealing with at the beginning of this course. With that being said, I went into deep depression and anxiety that I had not been previously dealing with. And with 5 nights of 1-2 broken up hours of sleep, it did impact my life, my mental health, and my family. I have never had suicidal ideations before. I had never had massive panic attacks night after night even in the last 5 months of insomnia. So yes, my brain did need more than the current amount of sleep I was getting. Could that contribute to ongoing struggle? Yes. But the reality is, I was spiraling as would any human being withdrawing. I have had to seek medical help- which I know you can’t offer medical advice or therapy. So no I don’t believe insomnia will kill you but if you don’t reach out for help, your mental health can put you and/or others at risk. My provider does promote cbt-I and as we move forward has encouraged me to continue this course. I have still been implementing most of the tools taught and not moved on in the course because I know I am not there yet. Kindness to oneself has been key.
Martin- well I know we cannot control sleep and cannot make it happen. I think when your brain and emotions line up with depression it can be very difficult to find something to engage in that’s relaxing because you’ve lost interest in many many things. And no, relaxing things shouldn’t be turned into sleep efforts but in your desperate attempt to relax (the mind and body), there’s a tiny part of you that hopes your body will relax enough to let go. But i understand we cannot make that happen.
My husband has this saying “too much of a good thing may not be a good thing” idk if that applies to you or not :/ but I could look on forums for an hour and not walk away any more encouraged… it starts to become a comparison game for me. Depends on the day. I guess one of martins big questions is “how is that serving you?” I think you’ve messaged me before. I know this process has been a struggle for you – same here. I’m a type A personality and 2+2 should = 4. I like to check all the boxes. And it’s different being stuck on week 3 when I have week 5’s materials available. Also don’t know if any of that applies to you. Setting sleep and the sleep window aside… do you think you’ve been able to find those 3 good things a day? Or have you identified your values yet? I haven’t gotten to do that part yet.
@RDet
Wow. All I can say is thank you. Thank you for taking the time to share your story, how you felt, and how you could relate to what I am feeling. I feel all those things (and I know feelings are feelings but we still feel them). I feel disappointed and frustrated and helpless in that I can’t change the cause and effect right now. In the future I do believe that will change. My hope is to take these tools with me for life even if I can’t fully implement them now. I think the other factor is the “you are an expert on you/CBTi cannot treat/diagnose some other things at play- not making an excuse at all. Thank you for your support.Aww thank you so much for your kindness and sharing what’s been helping you work through the anxiety of it all. I think you’re the second person who’s mentioned walking in the morning. I have two kids 8 & 5 and my 5 year old broke his leg last week. We’ve been adjusting to that and him being in a wheelchair. We’ve been getting out for walks but not first thing in the morning. Maybe I’ll have to give that a try at some point.
Martin, well my 5 year old son is in a full leg cast for the summer. So yes another example of something out of my control. And I do try to remind myself that I’m not alone (doing the awake exercise) but when you’re sitting there alone and wondering what to do to “relax” and your brain wants to turn those relaxing things into sleep efforts, it’s so very hard. Thank you for your perspective on strings of sleepless nights. I think I’m really looking for encouragement and hope that it won’t always be like this.
Martin, I don’t know if I have a goal of achieving a certain amount of sleep. Yes, at times that thought is still there. But I address that thought from the observer viewpoint. It’s more of I would just like some encouragement in the process. It’s hard when sleep is under two hours and broken up for most nights out of the week and has been this way for weeks.
@Chee2308 I appreciate what you’re saying about the paradox of no sleep sleep drive etc. but does this prove to be true during withdrawal? I feel like my brain is fighting extra hard- harder than when I first started this course. I have had two weeks of 2 hours or less of sleep a night and I’m active during the day still living life when I can. No naps. Getting up most days at the same time. It feels like I can’t even be hopeful that sleep drive is building. Is the withdrawal something you just have to ride out? I know Martin can’t speak into this in the course but I believe for many of us working towards coming off sleep aid and implementing what he’s teaching, it’s a HUGE factor.
I’m not sure if the Xanax is a sleep effort or just a tool to cope during this excruciating time. With so much time spent inside my mind, my brain screaming at me that being awake is awful, working on my accepting my feelings and thoughts, accepting insomnia etc I am so burnt out. I know that doesn’t mean just stop practicing the things I’ve learned. Sometimes we just need a break. Alaska is beautiful but alaska doesn’t sleep in the summer lol I’m trying to figure out what I want to do at night to pass the time while I’m awake but literally nothing sounds enjoyable. I’m not a big tv person. I try to read which is something I enjoy but when I’m reading at night now it’s not as enjoyable. I so badly want to get past the strings of bad nights that I’m hoping is just from withdrawal. I sometimes think if I had a few good nights a week that would carry me through but i don’t even have those right now. Maybe at some point?? But that is probably putting pressure on sleeping. But can anyone blame me for wanting a little more than 2 broken up hours a night for 6 nights out of the week? Is sleep drive even a thing during withdrawal?
Thank you for your kindness. I laid there in bed last night (because it’s too bright in the living room- I live in alaska) and told my husband I am practicing what I’ve been learning over and over again. I have the right mindset. I know I do. The anxiety and the extreme insomnia feels so crippling right now. I’m ashamed for taking Xanax (extremely low dose and not every night) to help me sleep because every night without it for these last two weeks has been 2 hours or less and that has been debilitating. I know mentally I can handle a bad night/day here and there. This course has helped with that. But applying everything you’ve learned while going through withdrawal is out of my control. I can’t control the rebound insomnia and anxiety and depression that has peaked. I know this isn’t me. It isn’t me to reach for Xanax. I don’t want this to be a crutch. But I honestly don’t know how to navigate this period. I am also still putting into practice 3 good things everyday along with a gratitude journal. I imagine you’re still implementing these things too. Yes I need a buddy. I’ve pushed a lot of my friends away for the time being and know that’s not the life I want to live/nor does it align with my values. I’m just not sure how to proceed with our friendships when I don’t want to talk about how I’ve been doing. They know nothing about insomnia or withdrawal. I’m sorry about last night for you. I very much understand those nights.
I started following this thread because I think @Sees1970 already knows that I’ve been walking through withdrawal as well and it’s been one of the ugliest seasons of my life. I’m thankful for Martin’s tools and hopeful that they will be helpful as my body/brain is adjusting to not having Lunesta/seroquel in the mix. I think every night for the last two weeks I’ve seen 2 am and a majority of those nights have been 1-2 hours of broken up sleep. I am SO sorry for the continued tinnitus. That’s what triggered my insomnia to begin with 6 months ago. Do you have any relief from that?
