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@Michael I can’t say why this is happening for you but what I can say is you’re not alone. I don’t think I got too much sleep last night either :/ and I keep trying to remind myself I can’t control if and when I sleep. I am 2 weeks off my sleep meds and it’s been the worst two weeks of my life. What time zone are you in?
What were your three good things from yesterday?@enehrer thank you for sharing your story and how you’re working through accepting where you’re at with sleep. So sorry about your back being thrown out. I can completely relate to the catastrophic nights of 1-2 hours. Have had many of those these last two weeks. I do find myself practicing the NOW and AWAKE exercises quite a bit and tell myself even if your sleep isn’t improving, you’re practicing a different approach to sleep. Again thank you for sharing.
Thank you for your response. And I honestly have not been myself these last 12 days since coming off medication. I feel like even when i wasn’t sleeping before this I could wrap my head around all of what Martin is guiding us through. Right now my depression and anxiety are at an all time high probably because of withdrawal and literally going so long without sleep. My insides are shaking. The tears and anger flow. And i know- how is that serving you? Ik it’s not but perhaps when I’m not withdrawing so hard I can come back to really practicing all that I’ve learned consistently. I’m doing the best I can to implement things when I can. My 5 year old son broke his leg and is in a full leg cast that weighs half as much as he does. Now he’s dependent on me to help him do everything and the stress of that feels like so much on top of withdrawal and feeling like I’m never coming out of this.
I’m right there with you. I can’t remember the last time I fell asleep before midnight. Lately I’ve only been getting 0-2 hours every day. This feels like a torture I cannot accept. But I know accepting it doesn’t mean we have to like it. I feel the same way- fake it until you make it. It’s hard to see that maybe this isn’t forever when you read about people who deal with this for years. I think like you, I’d like to have nights that are encouraging- nights that give me hope. Or that sleep drive will win. I’ll start nodding off around 11:30 only to jolt awake and be up for the rest of the night until my alarm goes off.
@chefdevo1776 I started to learn embroidery which I know helps build Neuro plasticity. But this week has been especially exhausting not just going with extremely little sleep but going through all the emotions of anxiety and depression and hopelessness. My son may have broken his leg and we’re waiting to hear about that and that sent me into a panic last night of all that implies for the summer. I know it’s all out of our control. I still feel so alone especially at night while I’m trying to do enjoyable things and those things are losing their enjoyment. And then I find myself getting tangled up in what is actually enjoyable when all I want to do is escape the pain and disappointment of yet another sleepless night.
Maybe that (strings of sleepless nights) gets better once one is past the rollercoaster of withdrawal. ??? I don’t have anyone speaking into that part of this process.@raju
how have you been doing with the taper?Thank you for your listening ear and encouragement. It’s hard to find other people who went through withdrawal and what that looked like for them & if they made it to the other side. Ik some of the insomnia coach podcasts talk about people getting off sleeping pills but they gloss over that process and focus on how the course helped them. My wake up time has been 7 but today I let it be 8:30 as it allowed me 45 minutes of sleep and then deep breathing I’ve been starting the day with.
Glad to hear things might be looking up for you. I am still struggling hard. Last night was a 0 hours of sleep night. The nights before were maybe 2-3 hours. I’m crying as I’m typing this because I so badly want to see progress. My sleep window was 12-7 but honestly I’m not getting to bed until much much later. Really been implementing everything this course has taught. I’m one week sleeping pill free which I do feel better about but the withdrawal has sucked. I feel like these last two weeks have been very very sleepless.
I don’t know if it’s about facing the fear of being awake all night. It’s night after night of this and the toll it takes on me emotionally whether I want it to or not. I hate that I feel like half of who I used to be. Hate that that’s what my husband and kids get. After 3-4 nights of 0-3 hours I’m an emotional wreck. My coping capacity is very very low. I don’t want insomnia to control me but at that point I feel that I am only human.
I guess take it as a win that you’re even getting 6 1/2 hours some nights. I’m still averaging 2-3 hours most nights and maybe one night a week that sleep drive has built enough to allow me to sleep longer.
@Sees1970 how have you been doing this last week?
Your post & response meant a lot to me today. I keep trying to remind myself in the midst of the pain, progress is being made even if it’s small. I got maybe 2 hours of sleep for I think the 4th day in a row. So much of this is mental which feels even more challenging when your capacity to cope is so diminished.
@ChefDevo1776 I do hope to get to that point of being at peace. I know that is such a key with this.
@Sees1970 Yes- I really practiced K in the awake…. Instead of getting mad I was crying I just allowed myself to cry that day for a bit and observed it. The next night I finally got maybe 6 hours of sleep which helped me feel more human yesterday. Last night was a less sleep night and again practiced acknowledging what I was thinking/feeling throughout the night. Trying to remind myself that I am moving forward in this even if it feels like I’m still stuck. Thank you for asking. How are you doing?? I was thinking about your job & sitting in front of a screen and getting sleepy. Sometimes I make a cup of tea in the afternoons and that’s helped a little bit.
