How Gerry used mindfulness and self-kindness to move away from an endless struggle with insomnia (#52)

Gerry smiling at the camera talking about mindfulness for insomnia

Gerry’s decades-long struggle with insomnia felt like a never-ending battle. The more he tried to force sleep, the worse his insomnia became.

His turning point came when he shifted his approach, embracing mindfulness and self-kindness instead of engaging in an ongoing battle. By focusing on the present moment and practicing self-compassion, Gerry found a new, more effective way to approach sleep.

The result was transformative: not only did his sleep improve, but his overall quality of life also took a turn for the better. This episode dives deep into Gerry’s journey and the specific techniques that led to his transformation. Gerry’s experience shows that no matter how long you might struggle with insomnia, it’s still possible to break free from the insomnia cycle.

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How Anne-Claire moved away from the insomnia struggle by practicing new habits and being more willing to experience insomnia (#51)

Anne-Claire facing the camera talking about how to be willing to experience insomnia

Anne-Claire experienced sleep issues when she overextended herself running her business. After reducing her workload her sleep didn’t get any better. Supplements and medication didn’t seem to help. This led her to explore a new approach.

Anne-Claire implemented new habits that would help create better conditions for sleep and help starve insomnia of the oxygen it needed to survive. And, instead of trying to fight or avoid difficult the thoughts and feelings that often come with insomnia, she began observing and even welcoming them.

As Anne-Claire put less effort into sleep and became more willing to experience insomnia, things improved. Wakefulness and the difficult thoughts and feelings that often come with it started to lose their power and influence and sleep — once again — became effortless.

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How Jessy separated herself from her thoughts, moved away from medication, and transformed her relationship with sleep (#50)

Jessy smiling at camera talking about separating herself from her thoughts about sleep

Jessy experienced sleep disruption due to the stress of COVID and the breakup of her community. Initially, she found it difficult to fall asleep. Then she started waking during the night and found it hard to get back to sleep.

As her sleep got progressively worse, Jessy started to feel scared and worried that she was losing control of her life.

She tried medication but it didn’t help. She felt desperate and alone.

After finding the Insomnia Coach podcast, she found hope in the stories of others. That encouraged her to start taking her life back from insomnia, even while it was still present. She did more of what mattered. She stopped trying to control sleep. She moved away from struggling with her thoughts and feelings (and as she did that she found that her mind could be an unreliable narrator).

Today, Jessy considers her sleep to be normal and she feels that her experience with insomnia gave her the opportunity to recognize her own resilience and that gave her the confidence to move forward in life.

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How Maria faced the fear of insomnia by allowing it to exist and discovered that all its power came from how she responded to it (#49)

Maria smiling at the camera as she talking about facing the fear of insomnia

After experiencing anxiety and panic attacks and not sleeping for 72 hours, Maria thought she had lost the ability to sleep. Medication wasn’t working. She withdrew from life. She couldn’t focus on anything other than sleep.

Feeling completely stuck, Maria changed her approach. Instead of trying to fight or avoid insomnia, she allowed it to show up whenever it chose. Instead of trying to fight or avoid the difficult thoughts and feelings that often come with insomnia, she allowed them to come and go as they pleased.

Maria also started to do more of the things that mattered to her, even when insomnia was present and even when her mind was telling her she couldn’t leave the house. All these actions stripped insomnia of its power and influence and allowed Maria to redirect her energy and attention away from an ongoing struggle and toward living the life she wanted to live.

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How Leah freed herself from the insomnia struggle by abandoning her efforts to control sleep (#48)

Leah smiling as she talks about moving away from putting effort into sleep

Leah experienced insomnia from her teenage years. As an adult it would often come and go, until it came and didn’t go! This made it difficult for Leah to live the life she wanted to live. To do the things that mattered to her. Sleeping pills didn’t help, and she felt stuck.

So, Leah decided to change her approach. She realized that canceling plans after sleepless nights didn’t make things any better and so she committed to following through on her plans, regardless of how she felt. Instead of putting effort into sleep, she gave her body the opportunity to take care of sleep all by itself. She also practiced observing her thoughts instead of trying to control them.

By doing things that mattered to her, Leah freed herself from the insomnia struggle. Now, sleep feels more natural and she is living the life she wants to live, independently of sleep.

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How Amanda reclaimed her life from insomnia and abandoned all the rules and rituals that were making things more difficult (#47)

Amanda smiling and talking about how she reclaimed her life from insomnia

Amanda’s insomnia was triggered by a number of stressors — having a baby, relocating, getting a new job, and dealing with a toxic parent.

She tried several sleep aids and implemented a number of sleep rules and rituals but found no real relief until she explored a different approach.

She started to acknowledge and accept her thoughts and feelings instead of trying to control them. She started to get more comfortable with nighttime wakefulness. And, she started to focus on the good things in her life and doing things that mattered to her.

As a result, she was able to move away from chasing after sleep and successfully reclaimed her life from insomnia.

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How Eddie got through the ups and downs of insomnia by implementing a plan that stopped it from controlling his life (#46)

Eddie smiling at the camera in front of a chalkboard

For more than a decade, Eddie struggled with sleep. He had good nights and bad nights, and just when he thought his sleep was back on track, it would slip away again. The harder it became to sleep, the more he struggled, and the less he did the things he loved.

Eddie’s transformation started when he stopped trying to force sleep and began developing healthy sleep habits. He also took the time to figure out what insomnia was preventing him from doing and what it was taking away from him. Despite restless nights, he made a commitment to do what mattered most to him.

Now, Eddie sees his battle with insomnia as a source of strength. He’s not happy about his experience, but he’s not sad either. Instead, he’s grateful for what he’s learned and the resilience he’s gained.

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How Jeannette got back on track after an insomnia relapse and how ongoing practice helped her move away from ongoing struggle (#45)

Jeannette smiling and sitting in front of a bed

Jeannette’s sleep improved after working with me but one night she couldn’t fall back to sleep and her old fears returned. She felt like something was wrong with her as this continued, night after night. This led Jeannette back into her old safety behaviors, even though she knew they weren’t helpful.

In this episode, Jeannette shares how she moved away from struggling with insomnia. She became more comfortable with nighttime wakefulness, stopped chasing after sleep, allowed her mind to generate whatever thoughts it wanted (even difficult ones), and started being kinder to herself.

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How Eric changed the way he responded to insomnia, stopped battling with his mind, and improved his sleep for the long term (#44)

Eric wearing headphones and smiling at the camera

Eric, like many people with chronic insomnia, discovered that trying to fall asleep only made it harder. Although he had no trouble falling asleep, he woke up frequently at night and struggled to drift off again due to racing thoughts and anxiety. Eric was fixated on sleeping and despite trying everything, he couldn’t seem to relax or improve.

After we started working together, Eric reduced his allotted sleep time to match his actual sleep duration and learned to manage nighttime wakefulness better. He also committed to living the life he wanted independently of sleep. By changing how he responded to his insomnia and the associated difficulties, Eric’s sleep improved dramatically. He no longer relies on sleeping pills and, more than a year and a half later, he no longer battles his mind daily and sleeps well.

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How Vicky changed her approach to insomnia when sleeping pills stopped working after 20 years (#43)

Vicky wearing headphones and smiling at the camera

Vicky used to manage her insomnia by taking sleeping pills for 20 years, until one night when they stopped working. This left her feeling alone and anxious, and she started to experience panic attacks when waking up in the middle of the night. To tackle this, Vicky adopted a new approach to insomnia that involved letting go of the struggle. She realized that unpleasant thoughts and feelings didn’t need to prevent her from doing what mattered to her. She committed to engaging in meaningful activities, even after difficult nights and despite uncomfortable thoughts and feelings.

Nowadays, Vicky still has some difficult nights occasionally, but she is no longer battling her mind all day and night. She is living the life she wants, even when faced with discomfort. In fact, Vicky considers her insomnia a gift, as it has helped her develop resilience and react more effectively to the difficulties we all face as human beings.

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