How Felicity transformed her relationship with sleep by practicing new sleep habits, being kinder to herself, and living life independently of sleep (#35)

Felicity smiling at the camera while wearing white earbuds

Felicity had been grappling with sleep issues intermittently throughout her life. Normally, her sleep would recover after a few months of disruption, but then it didn’t. In an attempt to regain control of her sleep, Felicity delved into extensive research on sleep, gave up coffee, experimented with medication and supplements, and even resorted to sleeping in hotels due to the difficulty sleeping in her own bed.

Fortunately, Felicity was able to transform her approach to sleep by adopting habits that facilitated better sleeping conditions and practicing self-care to help her move towards the life she wanted, regardless of sleep.

While Felicity occasionally grew frustrated with her progress, she committed to strategies that set the stage for sleep and explored her relationship with sleep, leading to improvement. Most importantly, Felicity’s attitude towards sleep shifted entirely. She stopped identifying as an insomniac, treated herself kindly on difficult nights, and recognized that sleep does not require effort and does not respond well to it.

Now, sleep is no longer a hindrance in Felicity’s life. She lives her life independently of sleep and is both sleeping well and living well.

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How Amy went from an intense fear of insomnia and feeling her situation was hopeless to averaging over seven hours of sleep each night (#34)

Amy wearing a white top and smiling at the camera while sitting in front of a door

Amy felt trapped in a life of insomnia, as night after night of wakefulness pushed her into a dark place with no escape. She felt helpless and hopeless until she became friends with someone else who was struggling with insomnia. Amy learned about the behavioral changes that were helping her friend sleep better.

At first, Amy was skeptical that these changes would work for her, but with nothing left to lose, she decided to try. She started spending less time in bed, abandoning her sleep rituals, and letting go of her attempts to control her thoughts and worries about sleep. Despite some ups and downs, she started sleeping more consistently, and now averages seven or more hours of sleep each night. Amy considers her transformation a miracle and a testament to the fact that there is always hope, no matter how dire the situation may seem.

Amy’s story is a reminder that even when we feel like we have exhausted all options, there may still be a path forward. By being open to change and willing to let go of our old habits and beliefs, we can create the conditions for better sleep and a better life. With persistence and the right support, we can break free from the cycle of insomnia and find restful, restorative sleep once again.

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How Jennifer moved past 18 years of insomnia by exploring her sleep-related beliefs and recognizing her own insomnia in the stories of others (#33)

podcast cover art with photo of Martin and title of podcast episode 33

Jennifer struggled with sleep for 18 years, starting when she weaned her firstborn from breastfeeding. After falling pregnant again, things got better, but when it was time to wean her second child, the cycle of poor sleep returned. As the mother of five children, Jennifer was anxious about sleep when she decided she was done having kids.

Jennifer listened to the Insomnia Coach podcast and realized that her beliefs were the root cause of her sleep problems. She felt ready to make changes to her habits and mindset to create better conditions for sleep. With the knowledge that others were experiencing similar struggles with insomnia, Jennifer became more confident in her ability to sleep and implemented changes to her behaviors and thought processes, leading to improved sleep and the ability to put chronic insomnia behind her.

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How Jovana put insomnia behind her by recognizing that her insomnia wasn’t unique and that sleep is a natural process that cannot be controlled (#32)

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Jovana’s insomnia began in 2019, leaving her anxious and stressed. As a new mom, her anxiety worsened and she dreaded going to bed. Discovering the Insomnia Coach YouTube channel and podcast made her feel less isolated and she realized her experience wasn’t unique or unusual.

Jovana stopped her extensive research and experimentation with supplements and medication. She accepted the fact that sleep cannot be controlled and removed herself from the process of sleep. Despite difficult nights and overwhelming emotions, she committed to actions that helped her move towards the life she wanted to live. As a result, Jovana’s confidence in her natural ability to sleep returned and she begins living the kind of life she wanted to live.

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How Cindy tackled the insomnia that appeared after her baby was born by accepting nighttime wakefulness and eliminating safety behaviors (#31)

Cindy smiling at the camera while holding a baby

After her daughter’s birth, Cindy developed postpartum depression and was given medication to help her sleep. The medication initially helped, but soon failed, causing anxiety and worsening sleep problems. She attempted to eliminate every possible factor contributing to her insomnia but to no avail. She came to the realization that her efforts to obtain perfect sleeping conditions were exacerbating her insomnia.

By embracing the possibility of being awake at night and finding ways to make it a pleasant experience, Cindy overcame her sleep anxiety. Cindy’s biggest lesson was realizing that her success was not dependent on her amount of sleep, but her relationship with it. Today, she no longer takes sleep medication and sleeps soundly.

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How Jake got his sleep back on track by changing his nighttime behaviors and his daytime behaviors (#30)

Jake smiling at the camera and wearing a plaid shirt

When COVID hit, Jake’s sleep schedule was severely disrupted as he was forced to work from home. He found himself working beyond the usual nine-to-five, answering calls and texts at all hours of the day, and even taking his computer to bed. Work encroached into his weekends and before long, he lost any semblance of a sleep schedule. When he went on vacation, he struggled to get any sleep at all, leading to a lot of anxiety and worry.

To address his insomnia, Jake began researching evidence-based techniques to improve his sleep. He reduced the amount of time he spent in bed, got up during the night if he couldn’t sleep, and prioritized living the life he wanted during the day, regardless of his sleep quality. As a result, his life no longer revolves around sleep, he no longer tries to control or put effort into it, and he has regained his confidence in his natural ability to sleep.

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How Celia improved her sleep by abandoning all attempts to control her sleep and accepting and acknowledging anxious thoughts rather than trying to fight or avoid them (#29)

Celia sitting outdoors and smiling at the camera

Celia struggled with her sleep from a young age and relied on medication to manage her frequent insomnia. With the birth of her son and the COVID pandemic, her sleep crutches failed, causing her to become more obsessed with sleep. She researched evidence-based techniques to tackle her sleep disruption, but they were challenging to implement.

Despite the difficulties, Celia refused to give up. She realized that trying to control sleep and trying to eliminate anxiety perpetuated her sleep problems. By accepting anxious thoughts and creating better sleep conditions, Celia was able to let go of her insomnia identity and live the life she wanted. Her decision to implement behavior that aligned with her values starved her insomnia of its power and allowed her to sleep well.

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How Chad improved his sleep by undoing all the changes he had made in response to his insomnia (#28)

Chad smiling at the camera in front of a white background

Chad went through a period of sleeplessness due to work-related stress, but eventually, his sleep began to recover. However, one night of complete insomnia caused him to spiral into anxiety and more sleeplessness. As a result, he became fixated on sleeping well and made several changes such as going to bed earlier and withdrawing from activities he enjoyed in an attempt to sleep better.

Unfortunately, Chad soon realized that his obsession with sleep was fueling his insomnia. Therefore, he decided to reverse his changes and spend less time in bed, allowing himself to feel sleepy again. He also began to prioritize his life based on his values, regardless of how well he slept. This approach improved the quality of his days and helped him realize that he could still function well, even with little or no sleep.

By abandoning his efforts to control his sleep and living according to his values, Chad was able to shift his focus away from sleep and create better conditions for it to happen naturally. As a result, he was able to overcome his insomnia and move on from this difficult period in his life.

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How Pat got rid of her insomnia by embracing a philosophy of “fake it until you make it” and accepting anxious thoughts (#27)

podcast cover art with photo of Martin and title of podcast episode 27

Pat, like everyone else, had some difficult nights occasionally, but she always got back on track with her sleep. However, during the summer, her neighbors began throwing loud parties that disturbed her sleep.

As a result, Pat began to fear falling asleep and became fixated on her sleep quality, cancelling plans and rearranging her life around it. However, these efforts didn’t lead to better sleep. So, Pat decided to take a different approach and pretended that she had a good night’s sleep every day. She continued with her normal activities and pursued enjoyable and enriching daytime activities, independent of how she slept. She also stopped talking about her insomnia.

By shifting her focus away from sleep and not allowing it to control her life, Pat found it easier to sleep. She also stopped trying to control her anxious thoughts and instead, chose to accept them. Finally, she let go of her attempts to control her progress and accepted that sleep is something beyond her control.

Pat realized that by placing less importance on sleep, it became easier to fall asleep.

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How Hannah got her sleep back to normal after COVID by caring less about sleep while creating better conditions for sleep (#26)

Hannah smiling at the camera with head tilted to one side

During the COVID pandemic, Hannah experienced sleep disruption like many others. As lockdowns extended, it became increasingly difficult for her to fall and stay asleep. After trying different medications with unpleasant side effects, she turned to a website for insomnia tips and advice. However, she soon realized that she needed personalized support and guidance and decided to work with me.

In this episode, Hannah shares how she developed new sleep habits, changed her relationship with sleep-related thoughts, and challenged the beliefs that made it harder to sleep. By abandoning attempts to control sleep, accepting difficult nights and sleep-related worry, committing to new sleep habits, and going about her days as normally as possible, Hannah was able to get her sleep back on track.

Today, Hannah’s sleep is back to normal, and she averages around seven-and-a-half hours of sleep. She is more resilient to any one-off nights of sleep disruption because she tackled the thoughts and behaviors that perpetuate insomnia.

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