Insomnia Coach® Podcast

Sophie never thought of herself as a great sleeper but when her son was born, sleep became a real struggle. This was expected in the short-term but when things became more difficult over time, Sophie became increasingly desperate. Listening to the stories of others offered reassurance and gave Sophie a new way forward that led to improvements.

Unfortunately, after a few months insomnia returned and seemed to be taking over her life. This is when Sophie committed to an approach that involved committing to actions that reflected who she was and the life she wanted to live, regardless of how she slept. As she did this she realized how much power she still had over her life. How capable and resilient she was, independently of sleep.

Sleep started to lose its importance. It became less of a focus. And, as a result, it was able to take care of itself and it lost all its power and influence.

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When Danny experienced sleep disruption during a period of stress and an intense focus on health and fitness, he became very concerned. After reducing the stressors in his life, reducing the intensity of his exercise, and eating more appropriately he noticed that his sleep improved.

This led Danny to believe that sleep needed an absence of stress, a certain amount of exercise, and a certain type of diet to happen. When sleep difficulties returned, Danny realized the issue wasn’t stress, exercise, or diet. It was all the effort he was putting into sleep.

By exploring CBT-I and ACT-I techniques, Danny refocused his attention away from trying to protect or control sleep and toward doing things that mattered to him. With ongoing practice, insomnia lost its power and influence over him, the struggle came to an end, and sleep became effortless.

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When Esther stopped taking a medication for generalized anxiety disorder, sleep became a struggle.

New medication helped with her anxiety symptoms but a phobia of insomnia remained, no matter what she tried to do to get her sleep back on track.

When we started working together, Esther began to make some changes to deal with her insomnia phobia in a different way.

Instead of trying to control sleep, Esther refocused on controlling her actions. She explored and committed to new habits such as going to bed later at night, doing something more pleasant whenever she found herself struggling at night, doing things that mattered independently of sleep, and acknowledging her thoughts and feelings rather than battling with them.

This new approach gave Esther more options. Options that helped her reduce the pressure she was putting on herself to make sleep happen and break free of the vicious cycle of more trying to sleep and more difficulty with sleep.

As a result, insomnia lost the power and influence it once had over her.

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Irina thought that something was seriously wrong when she experienced a night of no sleep and all her ongoing efforts to make sleep happen were not working.

The turning point came when Irina committed to an approach based on accepting the presence of wakefulness and all the difficult thoughts and feelings that came with it.

This didn’t mean she pretended to like them. This didn’t mean she gave up. It meant that she moved away from trying to control what her experience was telling her was out of her control. She practiced and built skill in experiencing insomnia and all the thoughts and feelings associated with it, with less struggle.

When she let go of the struggle that came from heroically battling away, trying to fight or avoid what was out of her control, she was able to refocus her energy and attention on actions that helped her live the life she wanted to live. As she did this, her sleep took care of itself and she gained invaluable skills that are now with her for the rest of her life.

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Dulce found that the more she tried to control sleep, the more she struggled with sleep. And, the more she tried to resist the difficult thoughts and feelings that often come with insomnia, the more difficult and powerful those things became.

This awareness prompted a change of approach. Dulce let go of her strategy of trying to make sleep happen through effort (even though it was an approach she had been trying to make work for over 15 years). Her new approach involved letting go. She stopped trying to control sleep. She moved away from the sleep efforts, rules, and rituals. She stopped trying to control her thoughts and feelings. She used the energy that was once consumed by an ongoing struggle to commit to actions that helped her live the life she wanted to live.

This approach wasn’t easy and it took ongoing practice. However, it was an approach that allowed Dulce to take her life back from insomnia.

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Whenever Neseret tried to move away from the medication she had been taking for 13 years, she found sleep impossible. Finding Insomnia Coach and the stories shared on the podcast gave her hope that she could finally leave medication behind.

Neseret started a supervised medical taper as she started to practice new skills and habits that moved her away from trying to control sleep and the difficult thoughts and feelings that come with insomnia.

Her journey wasn’t easy and there were setbacks. However, thanks to her desire to learn, her commitment to action, and her willingness to practice self-compassion, she is now off the medication and living the life she wants to live.

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When Bryan got sick, he had his first sleepless night. Then, he couldn’t sleep the next night either. He began to believe he had lost the ability to sleep, which made him very anxious.

As sleep took over his life, Bryan stopped doing things he enjoyed and his relationships suffered. The more he tried to sleep, the harder it became, and he felt more anxious and disconnected from who he wanted to be.

One night, Bryan accidentally fell asleep without trying. He realized he didn’t need to do anything special to sleep. This didn’t solve his problems overnight, but it made him change his approach.

Bryan started focusing on living his life and doing things that mattered to him. When he had a bad night, he reminded himself of the good nights that required no effort. Over time, as Bryan got his life back to normal, his sleep got back to normal, too.

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Emily’s insomnia began four months after her baby was born. She struggled to fall asleep and this led to anxiety and exhaustion. Medication didn’t help and her anxiety worsened, leading to panic at bedtime.

Emily’s transformation started when she changed her approach. She spent less time in bed, engaged in pleasant activities when awake at night, and stopped calculating her nightly sleep duration. She accepted her anxiety and insomnia, allowing them to exist without fighting them. Emily committed to meaningful daily actions, even when tired.

By surrendering to whatever happened each night, she freed herself from the pressure of trying to control her sleep. By not trying to control her sleep, it was better able to take care of itself. Emily now goes to bed around 11 PM and wakes naturally around 7 AM — and her focus is on living the life she wants to live.

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Kirstin felt that she had lost her natural ability to sleep. She thought she was broken. She just couldn’t sleep without sleeping pills. Every time she tried, she could not sleep.

After finding the Insomnia Coach podcast and realizing she wasn’t alone, Kirstin changed her approach to sleep. She stopped trying so hard. She stopped doing more. In fact, she started to do less. She abandoned all her sleep efforts, rules, and rituals. She stopped battling with her thoughts and feelings.

She started to reclaim her life from insomnia. She went back to drinking coffee. She committed to daytime plans, regardless of how she slept. Kirstin’s experience with insomnia provided her with skills that she is using in many areas of her life today. And, she is sleeping without medication.

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Summer’s struggle with sleep was taking over her life. No matter what she did to try to fix her sleep, nothing seemed to work. The more she tried to control sleep, the more difficult it became.

When Summer stopped trying to make sleep happen and started to allow sleep-related thoughts and feelings to be present without judgement, things started to improve. She practiced being kinder to herself and refocused her attention on doing things that mattered — regardless of how she slept and regardless of the thoughts or feelings that were present.

As she did this, Summer started to get her life back from insomnia. Her story shows that sometimes, giving up control is the best way to get it back.

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