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Hi BobbyP,
I'll start by saying I've been taking Xanax and Ambien almost every day and night for the past year. I've had insomnia most of my life but stress from my job (too many hours, unreasonable deadlines, understaffing, lots of travel) caused me to go into what seemed an unstoppable state of panic. I didn't sleep for 3 nights in a row and my girlfriend at the time begged me to go to the doctor. I found myself leaving with the prescriptions for Xanax and Ambien. At first I was able to make it through on an as needed basis. I would say .50 mg at the max at night. As the year has passed I have currently found myself needing to take up to 2mg a day just to keep my teeth from grinding, my legs from tensing up, my knuckles from gripping the steering wheel so tight, intrusive thoughts….the list goes on. It has also wreaked havoc on my memory. This is where you might find yourself if you're not careful. I could try to blame my doctor for me being in the state I am in now but I put most of the blame on myself. I still have the same stressful job. I plan to get off of the Xanax soon by switching to a longer acting benzo and then tapering. Hopefully I can get off the Ambien after that.
Take it from me, you do not want to find yourself here. My best bet would have been working harder to find another job without all the stress.
Hope that all didn't come out as a ramble. Good luck in finding rest.
I've left the warmth of the desert and have headed to Tulsa, OK for work. This weekend I hope to visit a local brewery here and sample some of the local beer and maybe do some exploration. I have the hardest time sleeping in hotels. I'm hoping my meds allow me to at least get some decent sleep so I can get my work done and get out of here.
Martin, I've done some home brewing myself. So far the only 2 I've done are a Bavarian Hefe and a Nut Brown that was very tasty. Are you brewing in 5 gallon batches?
Hi Uliharp,
Nice to meet you. The meditation does indeed help but takes practice. I have to admit when I am going through one of my multi-day insomnia bouts, I find it difficult to pull myself out of the state of anxiety and frustration I experience. A book I am currently reading called “The Power of Now” has been helpful. I am not done with the book yet but it talks about separating ourselves from the negative thoughts that come in and observing them rather than being swept away in them. I have found that placing myself as the observer instead of being a part of the thoughts has helped. Meditation works in a similar way as this concept.
Last night I found myself having an anxiety attack and threw on my flip flops and started on a walk to the park not far from my apartment. I get about halfway there and a friend called and asked if I'd like to get out and have a beer. I can confide in him so I took him up on the offer. I got out, had a few drinks and got back home and in bed by 11:00pm. In my amazement I woke up at 6:30am so I consider that a good night's rest and I'm feeling much better than yesterday.
I will put some thought into my experience and try to come up with some topics when I am able.
Thanks for the welcome Martin.
There really isn't any normal sleep that I experience. My weekends usually consist of moderate drinking on Friday nights and coming home around 12. Usually, no matter what kind of sleep I get I'm out of bed by 8am. My Saturdays are open to errands and I find relief in being out and about. My friends and I usually plan hikes on Sundays to remote areas of Arizona. Usually no matter how tired I am I still push myself to go because being on the trails takes my mind off everything and I am being in the moment.
I work in telecommunications engineering and I'm currently working on setting up cell sites for the 4g network in the Phoenix area. I'm just coming out of about 6 months of intense deadlines.
I am fortunate that I am able to talk to my friends about how I feel and what I'm going through. They don't look down on me and have been there for me which is good because all of my family is back in TN. My mother is currently dealing with the same issues so she relates to my problem. She lives on a farm with my stepfather back in Arkansas and has told me there is always a place for me to come to if I'm feeling overwhelmed and I can work on the farm.
I have been going to Buddhist meditations on Wednesday evenings when I am able, I've been reading books about not attaching myself to the past and future, Ive scoured the web to try to find out if the depression causes the insomnia or the insomnia causes the depression. The books have helped me with my mindset but without sleep it's difficult to keep the mind set.
I'm expected to be sharp and make quick decisions. The insomnia seems to be getting worse as I get older…
Knowing I'm not alone helps. I'm fairly worn from the week right now so hopefully this post makes sense. Thanks again.
