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Hi Dewina and welcome!
I am sorry to hear about your recent struggle. My first advice is to set a regular bed time and always stick to it. This is important, especially getting out of bed the same time every day and helps keep your body’s biological clock in good sync.
The second is try to ignore all that doom and gloom noise especially the one generated inside your head, I know this is very hard especially when you’re hurting so much now but equally very important if you want to cure your insomnia. Pay less and less attention on your insomnia and get on with your day regardless of how you slept. Distract yourself by keeping yourself busy, engage in joyful and satisfactory work while in your waking hours. People who recover from insomnia don’t necessarily sleep a lot better, but they are able to handle the stress of not sleeping well a lot better and because of that, they generally sleep much better. Fear of poor sleep is exactly what keeps it going! Good luck and merry christmas to you. I earnestly hope 2023 will be a year when you really recover from your insomnia.
Hi!
Welcome to the forum. I don’t think being so hard on yourself is really helping especially when you’re still pretty new to it. How many hours do you allow for sleep btw? 6 hours should be the minimum.Waking up groggy is normal even with normal sleepers! Then it kinda just goes away by the time you eat breakfast and get revved up to start the day. It is pretty common to mistake this grogginess with lack of sleep because sleep doesn’t work like a switch that turns on or off instantaneously; it’s more like a dimmer and the things you do after waking up will give your body the necessary cues to what’s going on.
You don’t have to follow cbt-i exactly to the tee to expect the results you desire. That means you can “mess up” a bit here and there, like dozing or taking micro naps and it still wouldn’t affect your sleep drive by very much. Just try it. Be willing to explore and take things further from your comfort zone. Don’t just attribute “failure” to anything you did “wrong”, there may be no connection at all.
Feeling sleepy is a surefire way to tell your sleep system is working. It means nothing is wrong. I encourage you to change your mindset in positive ways that will aid your recovery. In the end, you will just stop following sleep rules, you become very relaxed with your sleep schedule, are very open to the idea of staying up later or finding yourself awakening any time of the night. And you don’t lose sleep over sleep anymore because it’s just not worth it. Recovery from insomnia doesn’t mean free from insomnia, it just means those who recovered are a lot more indifferent to future episodes of poor sleep than they used to be. Actually they are much more common than you think and coming to terms with it is what makes all the difference. Good luck to you.
Hi!
Live wires? Does an ex-live wire’s account carry any weight? LOL. But basically why ask the people who still haven’t seemed to have it figured out, versus those who’s been there, done it and gotten over it?
Waking up is really normal is what I wanna say. Try not to take any issue with it, if you find yourself in this situation, the first thing you should try is getting back to sleep, or if that’s generating too much stress due to unpleasant wakefulness, you have the option to get out to get away from the source of stress and try again later. But you still need to get comfortable with episodes of wakefulness everytime they find you.
You are never going to get past insomnia as long as you are very unwilling to tolerate it occasionally. “Shrug it off as normal” – this is exactly everyone needs to do! The faster you accept this fact, the faster you will get over each episode when it happens.
Hi!
First of all, let me express my sympathies for the suffering you are going through. But what is really the problem here? IMO, trying to use cbti as some kind of magic sleeping pill or an academic formula to escape that which makes you feel extremely uncomfortable, which is insomnia or simply a phobia of having poor sleep. Well it just doesn’t work like that.
Assess how this statement makes you feel: “There is really nothing you can do to make sleep happen.” If you,
1. Chuckle and just shrug it off. Congratulations! You very likely don’t or won’t have insomnia.
2. Feel nervous, despair, defeated, anxious or any of those unpleasant feelings. Well, you still have something to work on. Actually coming to terms with it.Note that people in category 1 don’t necessarily sleep a lot better than 2. It just means they are indifferent to the same set of symptoms. They don’t spend hours thinking about it. Recovery from insomnia doesn’t mean free from insomnia. It just means they have abandoned the struggle with it.
I go by an earliest bed time or the latest. If I am really sleepy by 10pm, or still not sleepy by midnight, I climb into bed regardless. Then I either fall asleep straightaway or wait until I do. I want to be ready in bed to ride the sleepiness wave when it arrives and not be up and about doing things. I did try, for how long I can go without sleep, mine is around 36 hours regardless how much I wanted to soldier on or how anxious I was. I just can’t make it past 1.5 days without sleep no matter how hard I tried! So worrying about going for days without sleep is pointless, it is impossible to me and my body just won’t allow it
You can’t stop what is part of your nature. Thinking is a normal part of a healthy brain. Normal sleepers take anywhere between 15-30 mins to fall asleep anyway, so in that time, there’ll be plenty to think about. Of course, if you are really sleepy, you’ll be out in much less time. Let your own body guide you, when sleepy, there’ll be nothing unmistakable about it, heavy eyelids, head nodding off, difficulty concentrating etc. If you have none of these, it just means you are not sleepy yet. Or the body doesn’t need to sleep at that point. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong either. Sleep will come at some point after being awake long enough. No ifs ands or buts. In the meantime if you find yourself in this situation, you can either get up and do something enjoyable or stay in bed and well, think. There’s no wrong choice here and it’s up to you which you prefer.
You should also make choices about sleep as if sleep isn’t the main factor but because that’s what you really want. In regards to physical symptoms, my feeling is that they should go away over time. Mine did. Unless of course you have an underlying medical issue that causes them. Recovered insomniacs aren’t necessarily sleeping a lot better or that insomnia has left them. It just means we have abandoned the struggle and are much more open to having wakefulness and not struggle as much than those who do. Good luck!
Hi Tess!
What used to work before should work now. Because nothing really changed except your thoughts! Don’t approach cbti as if it’s a magic pill that guarantees sleep. It isn’t. It’s more like a crutch you use to help you get back on your feet but should be abandoned when it’s done its job.
Hello Tess!
Welcome to this forum. So what was his sleep window before he ‘developed’ insomnia? I use ‘ ‘ because nobody ever lost the ability to sleep. It’s usually the thoughts towards sleep that has. And therefore the brain thinks that something is wrong when nothing is. I always recommend going back to your habits and patterns during pre-insomnia days. Try to regain your personality and identity as much as you can. To get as nonchalant and indifferent about sleep as you can because this is the state where you want to return to. When you no longer obsess over sleep, spend hours of your waking hours thinking about it, or make decisions about your everyday life around it, you will do a lot better.
If it’s only the first week, and this is the sleep window you want to keep to, I recommend sticking to it. Try to not make the focus too much on the end result, ie sleep, focus on other things like enriching your daily life with memorable experiences, doing the things you love and spending time with your loved ones. The sleep will take care of itself in the end. Your body will regulate itself if you just allow it.
The mental work that goes into ‘fixing’ insomnia is a significant part because insomnia is mainly a mental issue. It is usually a result of overthinking, overdoing and over monitoring. Reframing your mindset around insomnia is key. Be simply okay with wakefulness. When you find yourself having to make a choice, do as if you don’t have insomnia and sleep isn’t the main consideration. When you no longer fear insomnia, it has no control over you. There is no one way to do this so you need to find a narrative that fits you best. Some people do meditation, others write positive sleep affirmations or yet others use metaphors. Say for example, if you are unhappy just because you only have $6 in your bank account, it still doesn’t change this fact. But if you look at it in another way, say, you have a roof over your head, enough food to eat and your basic needs are taken care of, that $6 becomes insignificant. The thought then fades away and your bank balance just is a number. Do like this for sleep, if you are optimistic about life, are happy where you are and what you do, then how many hours you sleep really doesn’t matter. It becomes just a number. Good luck and best wishes to you all.
Hello guys! Thank you for being here and for participating. Yes insomnia can feel debilitating. The urge to find companions in a common struggle like this can be overwhelming. I don’t want to sound like an a** but allow me to explain why this is not the right approach. When you try to do this, it then becomes okay to have insomnia because you seek safety in numbers, right? What do you really want to achieve by reading about other people’s insomnia? Are you supposed to feel better because theirs are worse or could you get frightened over it because it could happen to you? It’s a double edged sword and it can go either way. Imagine someone being told they have cancer, are they supposed to feel consolation when they are then told millions too suffer from it?
I don’t know about you guys but self reflection might be a better approach. Sit quietly with yourself and really ponder the deeper issues involved and eventually coming to terms with it. There is no one way to do this, I encourage you to find a narrative that fits you and which you can relate to. Keep an open mind and be optimistic. I’ll admit though that reading stories about how other people overcame their insomnia might be sources of inspiration. Good luck!
I wanna add too that you slept well before because you were largely ignorant about it. Ignorance is bliss when it comes to sleep. Now that sleep has come under your radar, indifference becomes your cure. Try to ignore it and get on with your life. It’s really not a big deal, you must have had many bouts of insomnia in your life before this but they are all conveniently forgotten now. The point is nothing about your ability to sleep has changed, it’s still there and will stay with you for life. It’s just your thinking toward sleep that has.
Hi Robb
Great for you. The desire to improve is a common starting point. Although I might want to caution you about “right” or “wrong” things. When you are recovered, these things just don’t matter anymore. Because they really don’t affect your sleep in any significant way. Nothing you think or do really impacts your sleep, at least not permanently. The body will regulate itself if you just let it. You will find many different scenarios where you’ll be up for different reasons. If you find yourself sleepless because you were worried about some thing, including sleep itself, then it’s becomes quite unpleasant. Or if you are staying up because you really want to, like chasing a drama series or out partying, it’ll be pleasant. Ultimately, it’s up to you how you evolve your thinking about sleep thereby how you evolve your way out of insomnia. In simple terms, this boils down into a time management issue and how you prioritize sleep in each 24 hour day. When you are back to yourself like before, you will likely revert to your old sleeping habits and sleeping whenever you feel like it. And there’s really nothing wrong with that! Good luck.
Hi Robb!
I am sorry to hear about your recent struggles. I am sure you are doing something to address your sleep troubles already. You probably already know the importance of regular bedtimes so probably do not need reminding now. Other than that, I can only say to let nature run its course which usually settles down on its own. It is interesting when you say you have hopes for everything to be as it was before. And that’s really the key! So what did you use to do before? What were your bed time routines and your bed times? Try to regain your personality and identity as much as you can in this aspect. It also means if you are taking pills to sleep now when you never did before, you might need to work out a plan to taper off them. Take it easy and one step at a time. Be kind to yourself and try not to be easily discouraged because you are seeing results you want or fast enough. I also encourage you to explore what is it about poor sleep that you fear and dislike so much about. Your true chance of a real and lasting recovery will depend on how you change your mindset around that. Good luck!
