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Philosophically, what is the difference between an unfixable problem and not a problem? Take for example, everyone’s impending mortality. Yes, everyone doesn’t like it but what can they really do about it other getting on with their lives at the end of the day? Or should they become perpetually sad and miserable over something they have very little control over? It becomes a matter of perspective.
Stop being petty. Especially when it comes to sleep. You only get disappointed and perpetually dissatisfied in the end.
Hello and welcome to the forum.
I am sorry to hear you are struggling. If you think you have ptsd, perhaps you should consult a qualified professional for a more professional evaluation. Because nothing here constitute medical advice.
Unfortunately, the sleeping part is a normal biological and physiological process that your body usually takes care of by itself. The only advice to sleep better is actually very simple. Go to bed at regular hours. Keep your bedroom comfortable and conducive for sleeping. Learn to destress and try doing enjoyable and relaxing activities before bed. Then leave the rest to your body. Of course, keeping a positive and optimistic attitude helps. Good luck and I wish you well.
There is resistance because you still see there’s a problem. The problem exists because your mind defines it. Simply saying you are accepting it isn’t enough. Because being convinced that there’s actually no problem is another entirely different matter.
“I still wake up at x or y o’clock” – you automatically define it’s a problem waking at x or y, and you will continue to struggle indefinitely because you will keep waking up at whatever time, as this is a normal physiological component of sleeping.
If you can forget there’s a problem, your insomnia will disappear. That’s the weirdest thing about insomnia. When you don’t define or identify with it, it’s no longer there.
Hello and welcome to the forum.
Learning to let go is very important. Keep the focus, not on sleep, but on life. Sleep isn’t everything because it doesn’t define who you are or what you are truly capable of.
Good luck and best wishes to you.
I think for many, acceptance feels hard because of the trying. Or the focusing. That’s telling because you still want to avoid the discomfort of being “forced” to be up as your body just isn’t giving you the desired result, which is sleeping.
It should feel effortless. The focus should not be about trying to sleep but that activity that you are doing, which you said was reading. For example, sometimes when I’m finding it a bit harder to doze off, I would reach out to my phone, which I always keep by my bedside, and go on the internet to browse, shop, watch youtube, check my trading account, or whatever while in bed. Then when I’m done, which can be anywhere between 15 mins or hours later, I would put my phone back down and go back to sleep with a smile.
There is no rush to get back to sleep or try to escape the discomfort of not sleeping, but I am up because I am truly enjoying the activities. I don’t make enemies with insomnia, so I think therein lies the difference. Mindset is the key the everything and it will take time to develop but your inherent personality will play a significant role as well. I wish you the best.
In due course, the answers to any questions you have now will be defunct because the questions themselves have become irrelevant and obsolete.
I encourage you to experience insomnia as a complete set. Embrace the good and the bad. Reserve any questions and judgments until later. Because when reading your post, what I am sensing is this rush to find fast answers and a frenzy to find a quick cure and exit. Don’t do this. Be patient. Good luck and best wishes.
I don’t feel nervous now. In the past, a bit, yes. But since then that I’ve grown out of those fears. It’s like a child has outgrown his fear of monsters in the closet.
Maybe the following scenarios help explain myself better:
Scenario 1. People who sleep well because they have not experienced any problem and therefore they don’t think anything is wrong.
Scenario 2. People who sleep well now but have had problems in the past and are now aware of potential “problems” but they also know these are not real problems and therefore they do nothing and don’t worry about it.
Well, before 2020, I belong to 1. After my recovery, I am now 2. But the sleep is still exactly the same.
Hey,
Saying you are in acceptance is not the same as being convinced. I wish words alone can convince you but that’s not how it works. You only become convinced from more experience and not just reading stuff on forums like this. This usually means:
1. Having more insomnia to beat insomnia. Each episode only increases your resilience.
2. More insomnia = less sleep = more sleep drive = more sleep = less sleep drive = more insomnia and so on. The cycle repeats until you truly see the really picture. The experiences gained will come in handy to handle sleeplessness as it happens. Insomnia will only start getting less frequent and milder the less you fear it or try to make a huge fuss out of it everytime.Best wishes.
I’m sorry to hear you’re still struggling. I can’t really say much other than what I’ve always repeated. Leave insomnia alone if you want it to leave you alone. Unfortunately, I think you and many others are plainly just not convinced.
It won’t happen overnight, of course. It’s a gradual process. You are making progress everytime you manage to let bit by bit go. You will get somewhere eventually. Best wishes.
The short answer is yes absolutely! And most definitely. I graduated in 2020 and has been sleeping well since then. But yes, I (and I am pretty sure everyone does!) still think about sleep and do still get a couple of bad nights every year as a result of plenty of things in life but I now know full well to not let them get completely out of hand like before.
The most important thing about thinking about sleep is usually this, does it really still bother you? If you can confidently say no, then congratulations, you don’t really have a problem. Just let those thoughts and feelings slide, they usually are very fleeting and transitory in nature like many things in life.
The persons who try the hardest to sleep are usually the ones who find it the hardest to fall asleep. They will do all sorts of things like taking pills, do cbti, relaxations, or have a ton of sleep rituals before bed. They also have endless questions about sleep. In the end, they end up not sleeping well regardless.
Conversely, good sleepers hardly ever try. They are super relaxed and super lax about it. Sleep comes readily to those who actually don’t want or make a huge fuss about it.
Try to do less. Try to think less.Because all that is mentally stimulating enough to keep you awake. Don’t try to fix anything because fixing the problem actually becomes the problem in itself. Good luck.
Every setback is a test not a failure. It tests how well you handle them. And each time you start fearing less, you are actually making a gain. Eventually because of all these “relapses”, you become stronger. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
Another way of thinking about this is that having setbacks is a surefire sign that you are sleeping well. You begin sleeping less again because all that sleep debt is getting wiped out from better sleep. Just common sense, isn’t it? It is not reasonable to expect getting sleepier and sleepier the more the slept. In the same way, you don’t get hungrier the more you ate. Unless, of course, you have some kind of illness. So sleeping less is a sign of a healthy body. Nobody sleeps all the time unless they are really sick or perhaps even dying.
You may shed tears over this now but there will be a day when you actually laugh! You laugh because how seriously you took all this hoax. It happened to me. I laughed at how silly and gullible I was back then.
The goal of every insomniac is indifference. You don’t let it affect you. You get out of bed and boom, you get on with your day straightaway. No time to think about sleep or its minions. I wish you the best.
Hi all
I think you get the idea but the being convinced part is probably not there yet. Yes acceptance is key but how to be convinced?? That is usually the major hurdle and I admit it won’t be easy, it wasn’t for me and everyone else. We all want to be in control so giving up that control appears counter-intuitive. But that is exactly what needs to be done if you want to beat this thing called insomnia. You have to give up the struggle fully and voluntarily. And you must also be prepared to accept some bad sleep whenever and wherever it happens.
Insomnia is usually an unhealthy obsession with sleep. The human mind can be obsessed with anything under the sun as long as you provide a stimulus for it. For many people, having just one or two nights of poor sleep is enough to trigger a lifetime obsession with sleep which then completely takes over your life and becomes the main focus of everything you do, think or decide.
Insomnia is kinda like believing you need to breathe 1000x per minute or something bad will happen. Or believing you need to eat exactly 2,500.01 calories per day or something bad will happen to your health. Or whatever other things you give your brain to zoom in on. In this case, it’s believing you need X hours every night.
So how to get out of this loop? Well stop obsessing over it. But for sleep is not that easy because you do it every night and you are forced to confront this nightmare over and over again.
You need patience and discipline. Do it one step at a time. For example, if you take pills then try to wean off them. If you have a bunch of sleep rituals every night, then reduce them one by one. Eventually, your sleep confidence grows and the obsession wears off. Remember insomnia feeds off your obsession, when you cut off the obsession, the whole thing dies slowly. Good luck.
The final piece of the puzzle is becoming convinced you are already getting all the sleep your body needs.
That final step is truly letting go. Not chasing sleep anymore. Not becoming afraid anymore. This is the key to a long term resolution. When insomniacs recover for good, it doesn’t mean they get consistent 6-7 hour sleep all the time without fail. It just means they are no longer worried and have given up chasing perfect sleep.
When you drop all expectations and are no longer afraid, that’s truly when sleep comes. Because at this stage, you are essentially losing some sleep over sleep itself. So how to not let worrying about sleep get in the way of sleep happening? That’s the key to the problem. You have to really let it go. Not by pretending and fear. But with conviction and faith. Good luck.
