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Hello Momup!
You may not be comfortable in doing everything at once (as in giving up completely) and that’s completely understandable. What I can tell you is that nothing can generate sleep except your own body. The body generates sleepiness and sleep all by itself, regardless of what you take or do. The reason you slept well after taking a pill is likely because you completely delegated the task of sleep to the pill as opposed to trusting your own body and then did nothing else, thinking the pill helped you sleep when in fact, it was your own body who generated all that sleep all along! The key for anyone with insomnia is they must be able to say the magic words “I do not care”. That is when insomnia starts to lose grasp. The entire thing feeds off anxiety and thoughts. Nothing else. When the feeding stops, it will die.Hello and greetings!
Yours is a common and typical response to any perceived problem including insomnia, trying and wanting to escape from the discomfort and pain. Unfortunately, the solution to insomnia is to be willing to experience and go through it until it doesn’t bother you anymore. That’s the paradox about sleep. The more you try to escape the sleeplessness and the more efforts you make to fix it, the worse it gets. The most effective solution is also a very simple one and very easy to implement which is: being okay with not sleeping well and implementing simple sleep hygiene techniques such as going to and getting out of bed at the same time everyday, not compensating for lost sleep in any way such as sleeping in, taking naps or going to bed earlier and being prepared every night with not being able to sleep, i.e having no expectations. If you stick to the plan, you should be well on your way to sleeping well in the long term although experiencing bad nights occasionally every now and then during the journey is very common and to be expected. Good luck!If your mind wants to think about anything when you go to bed then fine, let it think. When you engage in a tussle with your mind to not think about anything, even with the discomforting thought of not being able to sleep, then you will continue to struggle with sleep because engaging in a mind battle with yourself is a battle you just can’t win. If you are going to think, then think. Similarly your mind wants to take you to a certain place, including to the senario of being tired the next day and not being able to perform due to lack to sleep, then be willing to go there and experience the discomfort. Don’t fight
it anymore. Let it be. This is key. The more often you let yourself get uncomfortable with those thoughts, the more you get accustomed to them and the less power they have over you over time. It is your continual mental struggle with yourself which is exhausting and keeps you in the cycle of poor sleep. Just give up the struggle while continuing to practise good sleep hygiene like going and getting out of bed at regular times. No naps during the day and no sleeping in. Although you might want to restrict your bed time initially to strengthen your sleep drive, which would make it a bit easier to overcome racing thoughts at bed time, and then slowly allow more time in bed by going to bed earlier in 15 minutes adjustments while keeping your out of bed time the same. Keep doing this slowly until you reach your desired sleep duration. Good luck!Hello and greetings!
Your issue sounds eerily similar to Harley’s who posted here a few weeks back. Basically he used to go to bed at 10pm, would sleep until midnight then awaken and couldn’t go back to sleep again until 3am. After that, he would sleep until 6am when his alarm would go off and he would snooze it all the way until 8am, when he would get out of bed. Basically he had been sleeping like that for 3-4 years and accepted it as a way of life and almost gave up hope. The solution, which he found here, is actually going to bed later… Then when he tries going to bed at midnight, he actually starts sleeping literally all the way to 8am. Now he seems really happy with his current sleeping pattern because he says he used to struggle between choosing DIY work at home or watching his favorite tv series at night and now he could do both and still sleep great!The lesson here is only going to bed when you’ve built a strong sleep drive and not what time it is. Your sleep drive builds up the longer you stay awake and for normal people, that’s 16-18 hours of awake time to generate 6-8 hours of sleep. So the question is how long have you been awake before you go to bed? Is it long enough? Experiment with 16,17,18 hours and find the magic number that works for you because everyone is a bit different. No matter how much you slept, always get out of bed at the same time each day. Do not compensate for lost sleep by going to bed earlier, taking naps during the day or sleeping in! Practise this consistently for at least a few weeks and you should see an improvement. Then when that happens, you can start extending your time in bed by going to bed earlier but always keep your out of bed time the same. Go in 15 minutes increments until you reach your targeted hours of
sleep. Bear in mind you might actually need less sleep than you think so be mindful of this when making adjustments. Also you should expect a bad night occasionally as your body adjusts to your new sleeping pattern. But as long as you stick to the plan, you should expect to see long term improvement in your sleep. Good luck!Hello James,
You should do whatever you feel like doing during that time, the choice should not be intending to sleep, like drinking sleepy tea. Personally for me, I love snuggling in between my warm comfy sheets in a very dark cool room and by getting really comfy, I find drifting back to sleep almost effortless. But whatever your chosen activity, it must be really enjoyable to you and it shouldn’t be something that feels like it’s forced upon. Try to make this time completely relaxed and carefree, be friendly towards wakefulness and not see it as stressing. I hope you find your way back to sleeping again and good luck.Hello James!
What you describe is the trickiest part of the recovery. Once you’ve overcome the problem of sleep onset insomnia, you now find yourself hitting a plateau and unable to sleep past X number of hours. I’ve gone through it too. What helped me was my discovery that sleep is just a process and not a constant strive to achieve Y hours of sleep. That’s the irony. You need to give up all efforts to chase that final hour or two of sleep. As well as developing an non-caring attitude in how you slept and subsequently having absolute self-confidence in being able to sleep. That basically did it for me. I stopped ALL efforts to chase sleep because I already know I CAN sleep. I became convinced 5-6 hours of sleep must be normal for me and therefore there’s no final hour of sleep to be chased anymore. There was simply no more improvement to be made in my sleep and I had hit the end of the road in my recovery, I believed. That relaxed my mind and by giving up all efforts, I began loosing my grip over sleep and my obessesion with it. I now go to bed at 10pm. Initially I used to wake at 3-4 am, I would get up and use the bathroom and then go back to bed. As my mindset changed, I started falling back asleep faster and was sleeping for longer. My current sleep pattern is now I could sleep all the way to 530am, before getting up to use the bathroom and going back to bed and staying in bed until 630. Usually I can sleep in that final hour and this sleep is always light, fragmented and full of dreams. I also found no difference in how I feel upon waking up after sleeping for 6, 7 or 8 hours. Perhaps my minimum sleep duration is 6 hours and any sleep I get after that is considered bonus. I hope you find this useful. A complete lack of effort is key. This may include trying to “trick” your mind by getting out of bed and reading a book or whatever, as this may develop into a sleep effort because your intention of doing it is to sleep. Not caring whether you are going to sleep at all is what matters and therefore it doesn’t really matter whether you get out of bed or what you do in that final hour anymore. Staying in bed because it’s comfortable and being OK with not sleeping is fine and is what I am now doing. If you like to read, then go ahead but try to keep the lights dim as you don’t jolt your body awake with a rush of bright light and possibly interrupt the production of melatonin. Take comfort that you have already spent the early of the night sleeping and most likely would have achieved the restorative deep sleep you need. Good luck!Hello there
When it comes to sleep, doing less is always better and doing nothing is best! This is because sleep is natural and effortless by default, the more we try to control or bend it to our will, the more elusive and worse it can get. By not caring how you sleep, actually the better you sleep. That’s the paradox about sleep. Because when we actively make efforts to control sleep, automatically the brain will want to monitor for results and this can make it harder for it to shut off when we are trying to sleep. When you’ve done nothing, there’s nothing to monitor anymore. Good luck in your exams. Remember the potential for doing well in the exams AND sleeping well is always there. For the sleep part, you need do nothing and it will take care of itself.Hello and greetings.
15 minute adjustments every day is not ideal. Because that would mean a 1.75 hour change by the end of the week and most people need more time than this to adjust to a 1-2 hour change in their sleep schedules. You would want to be as gentle as possible when doing this. Typically for people with sleeping issues, they are recommended to make 15 minute changes every 10 days or 2 weeks to allow time for their bodies to adjust. Some may even need longer time because what makes them ready for that change is an indicator called sleep efficiency, which is the percentage of time spent asleep taken against time alloted for sleep. Ideally that percentage should be 80% or above before that change is made. Since it is only over 2 days you need to wake early, could you not just sleep less on these days? So if you go to bed at your present usual time and set your alarm early on those days, how much sleep would you be getting, assuming you are able to sleep? If it is at least 6 hours, that should be fine and you should be able to do it. There is no need to do a special sleep “exercise” each time you find yourself facing an anxious situation, because then it forces you to focus on your sleep, to chase sleep and that can develop into a sleep effort which can backfire dramatically. Just treat any special event day as a normal day like any other day where there is no special arrangement needed to be made to your sleep schedule. The idea is intention, if anything you do is designed to help you sleep more, in the belief that it would make you well rested for a special event, then it is technically a sleep effort and you are chasing sleep. Sleep efforts are usually useless and can develop into a self sustaining full blown insomnia when people start worrying after those sleep efforts fail and they start doubting themselves and thinking their sleep system are broken.Hello and greetings!
Are you going to bed earlier the night before your exams in an effort to sleep more? Try going to bed later or if you are making modifications to your sleep schedule right before an exam, you need to stop. Try to keep your bedtime routine as consistent as possible and not to make special arrangements just because you are expecting a special event like an exam, an interview, a presentation or whatever. Your sleep drive works on amount of time spent awake, not what time it is. Just go to bed after you are awake the usual amount. You can go to bed later not earlier, but keep your out of bed consistent no matter how late you went to bed. Do not sleep in or compensate for lost sleep in any way (sleep in, take naps or go to bed earlier).Hello Gemini
Great news! You should do what works for you, in this case, getting out of bed if staying in bed awake doesn’t feel good. But I don’t do that anymore myself, I have complete confidence in my ability to sleep anywhere so I just stay in bed. Eventually I will drift off into sleep every single time.Hello Line
Great success story. May it inspire others that they can sleep and are not broken in any way.Recognise that the natural hormonal changes that occur during pregnancy and after giving birth are common and normal and therefore some sleep disruption is likely to happen to almost every expectant mother. As long as you don’t get panic or anxious and accept these changes as they happen will give you the best chance of tiding over the sleep disruption. Good luck and congratulations!
Sleep disruption is extremely common during pregnancy! Some sleeping tips include (material copied from Alaska Sleep Clinic):
Pregnancy Sleep Tips
If you’re an expectant mother you shouldn’t let the potential for developing a sleep disorder scare you too much. For many pregnant women, sleep troubles can be fixed by following a few simple sleep hygiene practices to minimize the risk of sleep disorders and maximize the amount of nightly sleep. Furthermore, many of the tips for sleeping while pregnant are also very useful sleep tips for just about anybody suffering from sleep loss.
Maintain a regular sleep/wake cycle. Prioritizing sleep is key in getting sleep. Making sure that you’re going to bed and waking up at the same time every day (including weekends) goes a long way in feeling more awake and alert during the day.
Exercise regularly. Unless your doctor advises against it, regular exercise should be done at least 30 minutes a day. Getting out any pent up energy through exercise will increase circulation, improve mood, and help you fall asleep easier at night. However, no vigorous exercise should be done too close to bedtime. If you prefer to workout later in the day, some light exercises such as yoga are recommended.
Cutback on fluids at night. It’s very important to stay hydrated during pregnancy, but to help reduce late night trips to the bathroom avoid drinking large amounts in the hours leading up to bedtime.
Avoid Spicy Foods and heavy meals before bedtime. Eating spicy foods before bedtime can increase the chances and severity of heartburn at night. Eating heavy meals before bedtime makes the body work harder during sleep to digest your food, distracting it from working on the repairs your body needs for the next day’s activities. If you’re feeling hungry close to bedtime, try eating a light snack such as a banana, crackers and cheese, or a small bowl of cereal. For more information on foods and sleep click here.
Sleep on your left side. During the third trimester of sleep it is recommended that expecting mothers sleep on their left side. This increases the flow of blood and nutrients to the fetus, uterus, and kidneys. Also, try to avoid sleeping on your back for extended periods of time.
Use pillows. Special pregnancy pillows can go a long way towards nighttime comfort. Another pillow tip to reduce back pain is to lay on your left side with hips and knees bent and place pillows between your knees, under your abdomen, and behind your back.
When having trouble sleeping get out of bed. If sleep is alluding you, don’t lie in bed willing it to come. Get out of bed and do another relaxing activity such as reading, writing, take a warm bath, or any other relaxing activity before returning to bed.
Take short naps during the day. For the most part, naps are usually advised against as they tend to disrupt regular sleep cycles making going to sleep at night more difficult. However, studies have shown that napping while pregnant can prove beneficial. A poll by the National Sleep Foundation found that 51% of women reported at least one midweek nap and 60% reported napping on the weekends. However, if you choose to nap make sure they’re no more than 20-30 minutes long, and don’t nap too close to bedtime.
