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Hello @gemma2906
Thank you and welcome to this forum. It’s not easy, of course, otherwise insomnia wouldn’t be such a big problem. But what I can say is the situation is manageable, just don’t keep trying to avoid it or make it go away fast. Be patient, and the good thing is it tends to get easier as you go along, as long you adopt the correct mindset. Expect a bumpy road, there will be ups and downs. Try not to be upset about any setbacks or get too celebratory when you slept well as well! The key is to get as nonchalant and indifferent about it as you can, this is when you truly move ahead and leave all this struggle with insomnia behind because you are starting to show that none of these are affecting you as much as before. This is the natural state every insomniac should aspire to return to, to not react to any good or bad outcome. Good luck, and this is entirely doable.
Nobody is in a position to question their own bodies when it comes to sleep. The more you do this, the worse it gets. Pretend you are born blind and deaf and have no concept what time or sleep is, what will you do about your sleep? Probably absolutely nothing, because you won’t be corrupted with media lies about sleep such as “you need your golden 8 hours”, “you must sleep uninterrupted” or whatever. Pretend you don’t know all this or have no interest because in order to sleep well, you must return to your pristine, virgin state like when you were a baby, when you have absolutely no such idea and no such concept and slept whenever you wanted. Ignorance is truly bliss, forget everything else and forget whatever you think your sleep should be. Drop all your expectations and stop circumventing your own body. Only your body knows best, not you. Good luck.
Well how do you feel during the day? If you feel fine and are able to get on with your life, so then where’s the big problem?
When does the sleep pressure kick in? It’s difficult to tell, when it does, it does and when it doesn’t, it doesn’t. There’s no point arguing with yourself or everyone else over it. But from my experience, when you’ve truly accepted, the relentless asking naturally ceases and the accepting truly begins. What is there to ask about anymore, it’s like asking when will the blue sky turn dark and the raining begins, well why do you obsess over that when you have other stuffs going on that require your attention? Everyone just knows it’s only a matter of time and checking every passing second actively anticipating for something to happen just isn’t productive use of that time.
Go to bed at X and wake up at Y. Forget about what happens in between. Then rinse and repeat every single day. Ignore everything else and get on with your day. Don’t dwell on the past because it’s gone! Begin every new day on a fresh page and quit setting expectations or a time limit for your recovery. Be thankful for any sleep you get whilst being okay with any wakefulness you experience. Good luck!
Hi!
What you described is very normal indeed. I don’t think you need to change anything. Yes, people tend to fall asleep faster and sleep deeper during the initial phase of the night but as the sleep drive wanes because it is getting depleted the more sleep you are getting, then any further sleep eventually gets lighter, and is usually characterized by more frequent awakenings and more vivid dreams. This is entirely very normal! What isn’t normal or even healthy is the stuff you are expecting, ie, the more you sleep, the sleepier you become which is akin to getting hungrier the more you eat, does that make any sense to you?? So expect these episodes to happen every night, if I were you, I would just get up and use the toilet for a bit and then climb back to bed to rest, drop all expectations and the pressure to sleep, and eventually I would just doze off at some point. Good luck to you, don’t blame yourself and your body for not sleeping, because that’s usually a result of your body being already quite well-rested in the first place!
Insomnia is not an enemy you can defeat by showing weakness and fear at every turn of the way. You will keep getting it as long as the fear is still there. On the contrary, when you show resilience even in the face of weakness and accept whatever happens with an open and optimistic mind, you will do extremely well. Good luck.
You can’t stop what to think @dogacan. I think by being okay with thinking anything, you slowly start moving away from those thoughts.
“İf you dont believe me start analyzing how did your sleep was. Analyz the quality of your sleep and your sleep routine and see what happens. That does not mean your ability to sleep will lost of course but you will be able to sleep harder.”
Yes I do that sometimes when I wake up. I’ll wake up calculating mentally how many hours of sleep I got last night. Then come the next night, I go to bed, wondering how much I am going to get this time round. And, nope! Makes no difference whatsoever. Once I fall asleep, I completely forget all about it until I wake up 6,7 or very rarely 8 or whatever hours later. And this keeps repeating until I have lost count. Now I can’t even be bothered anymore, why should I?? It doesn’t make me sleep more nor make sleeping more difficult either! So it’s just wasting my time doing it and probably for anyone who thinks engaging in this exercise helps them, it’s probably useless as well. And if you think overanalyzing your sleep makes it more difficult, why do you keep doing it?
I answered this on the other thread. And it’s a resounding NO. Nothing you do or think about sleep can change it. It might affect a little bit and you may sleep a little less but it’s not a problem and you can still get by with whatever sleep your body is giving you at any time
Yup used to have it but not anymore. How long do you think you can escape by not sleeping? Everyone expects to sleep every night so do you want to keep fearing that every night for the rest of your life? That’s just not practical.
Hello @dogacan!
I’ll try to answer your other question here as well because they are essentially same. It doesn’t matter what you think or do to sleep, your body will still sleep regardless. So thinking or doing
a ton of stuff OR literally nothing about it achieves next to nothing. Your body is primed to eat, breathe, remove wastes and also sleep so thinking you are bad at all all these will never stop them from happening anyway. Let’s say you become convinced you need to eat 10,000 calories per day or breathe 500x/minute or “horrible things” are going to happen to your body, and you consciously keep trying to do it, did you think these will affect your body’s functioning a single bit?? Yes, you might gain a bit of weight or look weird to everybody
else but other than that, nope your body will function like normal. You’d have wasted your time and energy which would be much better to be focused elsewhere instead. Sleeping is a core bodily function that can never be lost, thinking you are bad at it will never cause it to lose that ability. Good luck.Hello and welcome to the forum!
I don’t understand your question well. It appears you are confused and if I asked you, does the answer to your question really matter, or is it really that important to have an answer, what will your reply be? Even if you found an answer, will that be the end then? Or will you then start having other questions? And it goes on and on and you end up in a vicious cycle, getting nowhere.The point is if you think you are getting the sleep and/or rest your body really needs, does it matter whether you are sleeping or resting? As an recovered insomniac, I am telling you quite point-blank that the answers to any questions your brain has about sleep is truly trivial and insignificant. The quest to seek an answer to everything about sleep is what keeps you stuck in it. Just learn to let go and live with it. Stop seeking and start living! Good luck to you.
Hello @Karin!
Welcome to this forum and can you elaborate on your situation? For most of us who recovered, insomnia is really not a disease, it is more of a phobia. Of not sleeping well. It is more a mental issue than a physical ailment. It is the fear of sleeping poorly that keeps you from sleeping. It’s losing sleep over sleep itself! Feel free to browse through the material here and I hope you find it useful. For people who recovered, we only do very simple things to cure it: Go to bed at consistent times, then just RELAX. CARE LESS. Your body will handle the rest for you. And THAT’S IT! Good luck. Disclaimer: Luck has nothing to do with any insomnia recovery, it is all about you and how you relate to yourself, or more specifically your thoughts towards sleep.
