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Thank you teekaye, your words are so helpful, you make me feel better.
I always catastrophize everything indeed, and now that I am a mum and my thoughts and behaviours can affect my son, it all looks much more difficult.
Do you think that, if your insomnia happened in your first pregnancy rather than the second, you would still have had a second pregnancy?
This is something I am really scared about: I really want a second child, even if not in the near future, and I am afraid that this condition will prevent me from having it, because as you know the first months with a newborn are so rough in terms of sleep and I am afraid I would not be able to cope with it.Thank you teekaye, it means a lot knowing that other people are feeling the same as me, especially a mom.
I feel very lonely because no one around me seems to have sleep issues.
It’s really hard to cope with the thoughts and I am also afraid this will ruin the relationship with my husband because I realise I always talk about my sleep issues.Also, we are here at their house all together until next Monday, then my husband it’s supposed to go home alone because he needs to go to the office while I would stay here with my son and my parents since daycare is still closed for summer, working from their house for 5 days more while my parents look after my son.
It would be the first time since my son was born and insomnia started, that I sleep without my husband. The thought makes me really anxious now that I slept bad in the last 3 nights. Should I still try to stay here with them?
I know this problem sounds stupid, I would like to try because I know I will have to sleep without him eventually. But I am scared I will not sleep at all for the 5 days.Just a little update, I have been on vacation at the mountains with my husband and son and slept ok all week – now we are at my parents’ house at the seaside (they are kind of an anxiety trigger for me, I talk a lot about them in therapy) and have been sleeping really badly the last 3 nights. It takes hours to fall asleep even if I feel sleepy when I go to bed and it’s so frustrating. I am always trying to tell myself that it’s ok to just rest, that I don’t need to sleep immediately but when I am the only one awake in the house I feel really lonely and I start to worry so much. I can’t seem to get in the correct mindset.
I keep living life as usual, yesterday night we went out for dinner with my parents and I was very tired, when we got home my eyes were closing while I was in bed helping my son to fall asleep, then once I turned off the lights I was awake again. I am really afraid that this condition will be forever.
I am thinking about enrolling in Martin’s course but just the idea of sleep restriction and stimulus control make me super anxious.You are absolutely right, thank you Martin and Chee.
It’s really not easy at all. I am so scared of not enjoying my son because of how I feel after rough nights and I feel so bad about it, I love him so much I just want to be able to enjoy life 100% with him and my husband!Hi Sazzy,
i don’t really have any advice but you are not alone, I am going through the same thing, I have a 12 months old and I had a predisposition to insomnia already but it never was a big deal in the past. Now since my son was 5-6 months old it had become an issue, started from his wakings and now perpetuating with my anxiety.
Hello, I had 9 nights of quite good sleep (I went on vacation with my husband and my son), but then the last two nights have been horrible.
It feels like I can’t stop my mind form racing, when I am not able to fall asleep immediately.
I start to think that if I don’t sleep, I will not be able to function during the day. Then I remember that I functioned normally after rough nights, but in those nights I slept at least a few hours, and that if I sleep zero hours then I will really not be able to function.
How do you let these feelings go?Hi Sophie, I don’t know if you are still reading the forum, I am a mom of a 11month old baby and facing post partum insomnia too, and I keep wondering as you if I will be able to have another baby and cope with the first hard months.
Are you feeling better?Thank you both for your answers. It all rationally makes sense – and during the day I try to stay positive and enjoy the good things happening even after bad nights, but then at night it is still sometimes very hard.
I try to tell myself that even if I am not sleeping, I am still resting and building sleep drive that could lead to better sleep in the next nights, and that the day after I will still be able to function even if not at my best, but anxiety still kicks in during some nights.
It sure doesn’t help that my son is still waking a few times per night because this strengthen my anxiety – and also, I am really focused on the thought that by having this problem, I wouldn’t be able to have another child, to cope with the first months of a baby’s life where the nights could be really really hard and this makes my anxiety worse, because I really want a second child and I am afraid that this ‘condition’ will affect the decision of another pregnancy.Another thing not really helping is that my husband comes to bed later than me and sometimes I find myself ‘waiting’ for him in bed and I can’t relax until he comes to bed. I dont want to force him to come to bed earlier, he actually goes to sleep at our ‘usual’ time (around midnight), but I started to go to bed earlier since my son was born (even before my insomnia issues)
