buckeyemama

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  • in reply to: Long time insomniac #38958
    buckeyemama
    ✘ Not a client

    Hi Scott,
    I would absolutely like to implement the things on this site. It looks like there is a lot of support. I feel great if I get 6 solid hours of sleep. My problem is several things:
    1. I go straight to a glass of wine if I haven’t fallen asleep within “my time frame” (so I’ve escaped my anxiety by using wine)
    2. Quite often I’ve realized that I’ve slept more than I thought. The rule about getting up after a half-hour if you haven’t fallen asleep is hard for me because half the time I’m laying there, I think I’ve been awake but only to find out that I was in a light sleep because the time seemed to be short but was longer (does that make sense?). For example, last night I woke up feeling like I didn’t sleep AT ALL and not looking forward to the day. However when I got up I felt OK, I looked at my sleep tracker and found that not only did I get sleep I got some deep and REM sleep as well. But it was all very choppy sleep, I was up too many times to count.
    3. Anxiety over the whole thing
    So I just don’t know where to start. I’m taking Martin’s free course right now. I should be doing the sleep time window tonight but nervous about that because I’m so tired now from last night’s sleep.
    I do think this site has a lot of support and I’m thankful for that. Baby steps. I realize now that it’s more of a marathon, not a sprint. I just have to put in the work.
    Christine

    in reply to: Long time insomniac #38935
    buckeyemama
    ✘ Not a client

    Hi Scott!

    Thanks for your reply and feedback. Honestly, I didn’t follow through with CBT for several reasons: the fear of not sleeping an entire night and not having support through it. I found the program when I was at a really low point, deep in insomnia with major anxiety. I just stumbled upon a CBT sleep program but I had to do it on my own. I would have loved a forum like this! I was physically sick throughout the day because I was so anxious about not sleeping. I know now I was feeding myself lies about sleep and it made it so much worse. The only thing that pulled me out of it at the time was an antidepressant and the sleep meds.
    However, clearly, it did not solve the problem. I’m now off of both meds (it’s been 10 years) but I think I still have in the back of my mind the fear of going back to that point. I’ve had many times since then of great sleep without anything. I was sleeping great for about a month prior to my current state and then had one night recently of not being able to sleep and it’s been now 5 days of not being able to sleep without taking anything.
    Before bed, I watch TV with my kids, read, and then do a sleep meditation to help ease myself to sleep. I do use blue light glasses at night to cut back on the blue light because I read from my kindle. I’ve always been an early riser, despite insomnia, but this past year, due to COVID, I got into the bad habit of going to bed way too late and now sleeping in. Ideally, I’d like to go to bed at 10:00 and get up at 5:00 but since Christmas break (teacher) I’ve not been doing that. Due to the help of the wine or an over-the-counter sleeping pill, I’m still getting about 5-6 hours of sleep a night. If I’m not asleep by midnight I start to panic, as much as I try and calm myself down I just can’t seem to do it.
    I’d like to just be able to sleep without anything and develop a healthier relationship with sleep. Prior to my first episode of insomnia 10 years ago, I was a GREAT sleeper! My head would hit the pillow and I’d be out in minutes. I miss those days. 🙂

    in reply to: Long time insomniac #38934
    buckeyemama
    ✘ Not a client

    Hi ladybird!

    Sorry to hear you are dealing with the same thing. It’s not fun but in an odd way, it is comforting to know we are not alone in this via this forum! I hope you find some help through this site. I just purchased a book to help with anxiety that this site recommended: “Dare. The new way to end anxiety…” Looking forward to reading it! I’ll let you know how it is. 🙂
    How is your daughter doing from covid?
    Hang in there!

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