[buckeyemama]

Hi!

I’m new to this site and just found it when searching up something related to insomnia. I’ve been dealing with insomnia for about 10 years. I feel like I’ve tried everything. My first bout of insomnia put me on sleep and anxiety meds (that was 10 years ago). I tried CBT during that time but honestly don’t think I gave it a full effort. Once the anxiety meds kicked in I was able to get off of the sleep meds. Currently, I am not on any anxiety or prescription sleep meds but I do take over the counter sleep meds if need be. Embarrassed to say that I usually drink a glass of wine each night to get my mind to settle down but I fully know this is not giving me the full sleep that I need and sometimes it backfires. My job keeps me very active and overall I try to maintain a healthy lifestyle, so it kills me that I can’t fall asleep! Pretty sure it is my anxious thoughts about having to fall asleep that keeps me awake. Once midnight hits and I’m still awake I start to get anxious, I will take pretty much anything to get my mind to calm down (wine). 🙁
Here to hopefully get some tips and help that will get me on the right track to healthy sleep.
Also, it is so encouraging to read some of the success stories!

[ladybird]

Hi Buckeyemama. I can’t give you any useful tips as I’m pretty much in the same boat as you are. What seems to be common among insomniacs is the anxiety that seems to kick in as soon as we start to get ready for the sleep process. At the beginning of the pandemic, my daughter had covid and I was really, really worried and of course any worries are a hundred times worse at night. I got to the stage where I got in such a panic when it was time for bed that I took to sleeping on the sofa with the TV on. This has now caused bad circulation problems in my legs. Vicious circle. I’m trying to calmly take myself off to bed, and telling myself that if I can’t sleep I’ll get up for a couple of hours and then try again, but tonight I slept for a little less than 2 hours and woke up with my heart racing in a hot sweat. I had to put a coat on and stand outside for a few minutes to calm myself down and cool off. I’d love to know if there’s something I could do to get rid of this anxiety and get just a few hours decent sleep.

[Scott]

Hi @buckeyemama!

Welcome to the forum! Did you experience any roadblocks while you were implementing CBT-I that caused you not to continue experimenting with it? Some people will stop using these evidence-based techniques if they don’t begin to see results rather quickly but I compare it to beginning an exercise routine. If you don’t see immediate results some people begin to wonder if what they’re doing is really beneficial but patience and commitment are key to success. As the cliché goes, “short term pain for long term gain”!

Unfortunately, meds (and wine) can’t generate sleep so I’m not surprised you’re not having a lot of success with those options. Since you mentioned having some anxiety towards sleep, can you describe your activities within an hour or so of going to bed? One strategy in easing an anxious mind is to create a buffer zone 1-2 hours before bedtime. Relaxing activities during this time may include watching tv, listening to a podcast, journaling, reading a book, etc. They aren’t designed to create sleep, but are intended to relax and quiet an active mind.

What time are you going to bed, getting out of bed to start your day and how many hours of sleep do you get, on an average night?

Scott J

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If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Clarity program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[buckeyemama]

Hi ladybird!

Sorry to hear you are dealing with the same thing. It’s not fun but in an odd way, it is comforting to know we are not alone in this via this forum! I hope you find some help through this site. I just purchased a book to help with anxiety that this site recommended: “Dare. The new way to end anxiety…” Looking forward to reading it! I’ll let you know how it is. 🙂
How is your daughter doing from covid?
Hang in there!

[buckeyemama]

Hi Scott!

Thanks for your reply and feedback. Honestly, I didn’t follow through with CBT for several reasons: the fear of not sleeping an entire night and not having support through it. I found the program when I was at a really low point, deep in insomnia with major anxiety. I just stumbled upon a CBT sleep program but I had to do it on my own. I would have loved a forum like this! I was physically sick throughout the day because I was so anxious about not sleeping. I know now I was feeding myself lies about sleep and it made it so much worse. The only thing that pulled me out of it at the time was an antidepressant and the sleep meds.
However, clearly, it did not solve the problem. I’m now off of both meds (it’s been 10 years) but I think I still have in the back of my mind the fear of going back to that point. I’ve had many times since then of great sleep without anything. I was sleeping great for about a month prior to my current state and then had one night recently of not being able to sleep and it’s been now 5 days of not being able to sleep without taking anything.
Before bed, I watch TV with my kids, read, and then do a sleep meditation to help ease myself to sleep. I do use blue light glasses at night to cut back on the blue light because I read from my kindle. I’ve always been an early riser, despite insomnia, but this past year, due to COVID, I got into the bad habit of going to bed way too late and now sleeping in. Ideally, I’d like to go to bed at 10:00 and get up at 5:00 but since Christmas break (teacher) I’ve not been doing that. Due to the help of the wine or an over-the-counter sleeping pill, I’m still getting about 5-6 hours of sleep a night. If I’m not asleep by midnight I start to panic, as much as I try and calm myself down I just can’t seem to do it.
I’d like to just be able to sleep without anything and develop a healthier relationship with sleep. Prior to my first episode of insomnia 10 years ago, I was a GREAT sleeper! My head would hit the pillow and I’d be out in minutes. I miss those days. 🙂

[Scott]

@buckeyemama – since you achieve 5-6 hours of sleep a night, how are you feeling the next day? As we age, our body doesn’t have the same sleep requirements as we had when we were younger and the best gauge for how much sleep you really need depends on how you feel the following day.

Now that you’ve found this website and forum focused on these evidence-based techniques, do you think it’d be beneficial for you to reconsider experimenting with them to restore your sleep? I’m sure you’ve seen as you’ve explored this site, Martin has some in-depth explanations and resources that you might find helpful. If you have questions, we’re certainly here to provide that support for you.

It sounds like you’ve created some relaxing activities that you enjoy before bedtime – that’s great! I’d encourage you to continue those activities but be mindful of not doing them in an attempt to generate sleep. Oftentimes, people who experience insomnia will create a specific bedtime routine and while that’s great to have some down time as bedtime approaches, sometimes it can spotlight your sleep issue and cause some anxiety as you go to bed. Sleep is one of those rare things where the harder we try to improve it, the harder sleep becomes.

Scott J

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If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Clarity program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[buckeyemama]

Hi Scott,
I would absolutely like to implement the things on this site. It looks like there is a lot of support. I feel great if I get 6 solid hours of sleep. My problem is several things:
1. I go straight to a glass of wine if I haven’t fallen asleep within “my time frame” (so I’ve escaped my anxiety by using wine)
2. Quite often I’ve realized that I’ve slept more than I thought. The rule about getting up after a half-hour if you haven’t fallen asleep is hard for me because half the time I’m laying there, I think I’ve been awake but only to find out that I was in a light sleep because the time seemed to be short but was longer (does that make sense?). For example, last night I woke up feeling like I didn’t sleep AT ALL and not looking forward to the day. However when I got up I felt OK, I looked at my sleep tracker and found that not only did I get sleep I got some deep and REM sleep as well. But it was all very choppy sleep, I was up too many times to count.
3. Anxiety over the whole thing
So I just don’t know where to start. I’m taking Martin’s free course right now. I should be doing the sleep time window tonight but nervous about that because I’m so tired now from last night’s sleep.
I do think this site has a lot of support and I’m thankful for that. Baby steps. I realize now that it’s more of a marathon, not a sprint. I just have to put in the work.
Christine

[Scott]

Christine,

You make some very relatable and valid points above but even as you said, “it’s more of a marathon, not a sprint”. On the same token, I like to compare beginning these evidence-based techniques to starting a new exercise regimen. At first, you might find it difficult to remain committed to the program, you’re tired and may even start wondering if you’ll ever see results. You could even experience short term regression but if you remain committed and consistent to the program, you’ll begin to see real results.

Hang in there, you’re on the right track and if you have questions along the way, certainly let us know!

Scott J

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Clarity program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Martin Reed]

Welcome to the forum and I hope you’ve found the support here helpful so far!

Reading your posts, it sounds as though there might be some “anxiety avoidance” going on — and trying to avoid anxiety is often the fastest route to more anxiety and heightened arousal!

If you are able to explore the possibility of changing the way you interpret or react to the thoughts that usually generate anxiety, and perhaps even become more accepting of these thoughts (since, after all, thoughts are just thoughts and not facts) you might find that — in response — they generate less anxiety and worry.

Have you been able to explore the thoughts you have that seem to generate anxiety? When you feel anxious, what is going through your mind?

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Clarity program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

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