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Hello, deli-x
I’ve recently been doing much better! Hope others are too.
Changes I’ve made – bought a sofa sleeper and moved out of the bedroom where my spouse sleeps. He’s been very toxic, and also has a lot of health issues that would wake me. So even if we got along well, would still need to change rooms. Tried to avoid things that give me inflammation, like gluten, beans, sugar. The inflammation keeps me awake and also triggers neck pain that causes headache which keeps me awake. I also had Covid which messed up my sleep. For a few days I was so tired I slept 10 hours, but afterwards, it was difficult to sleep for about 6 weeks testing negative. Changed jobs 3 weeks ago for better hours, 9-5 no weekends! Prior to that I moved up to manager level at a major department store in our area. The hours were crazy, would have 2-3 different shifts per week plus seldom had 2 days off in a row and usually overtime. I was always pushing myself, I got in really good shape to do it, however my body could never adjust to the different shifts. As soon as I quit, all I wanted to do was sleep. Which for me now is 7-8 hours, but lots of just relaxing in bed time. Oh yeah, and no Ambien. My doctor refuses to prescribe it.
Hi delv-x,
Hope you get deep, refreshing sleep tonight!
Although I’ve been doing very well, I don’t know if my sleep routine will ever return to the way it was prior to insomnia. I’ve been sleeping with ear buds listening to various soothing meditations, hypnosis or audio books like the Power of Now, or audio works from the Mindful Movement or John Moyer. I’ve also been taking CBD in a capsule (with no THC). I use it to help with arthritis, muscle and joint pain at night. Although it does not help with falling asleep, I feel once I am asleep I can sleep a bit deeper and longer. One of my co-workers says it helps her with sleep too. Acupuncture can help with anxiety and stress and it has helped me with sleep in the past.
I can usually get over upsetting emotions or feelings by accepting them, observing them, realizing they are normal, having compassion for myself and talking to myself like I would talk to a good friend or family member. After a few hours I am mostly over it. From the above resources I learned to think of myself as transparent and imagine the unpleasant things just passing through me, or John Moyer has some messages where you “Nothing it, Nothing them” and get to a neutral place.
Since sleep is so important to a strong immune system, if I am struggling to sleep (which often happens during a new or full moon) I accept it and take 1/4 to 1/2 an Ambien. I never need a full dose anymore. It’s probably more psychological support than the medication itself. Since a medication side effect brought me into insomnia in the first place, I am terrified of getting the Covid vaccination as I am so sensitive to medications in general, so my priority is to have a healthy and strong immune system. I recently had a muscle injury and could only take an OTC medication like Aleve for 2 days, as it’s side effects were worse than my injury. Since the pandemic I’ve constantly worked with lots of people contact. I have not isolated and am doing OK.
Hi everyone,
Since my last relapse in October I’ve been doing better. All the practice (ACT,acceptance, mindfulness) over the past year has helped in most every area of my life. First of all my employment status has changed frequently, especially with Covid, I’ve had odd and intermittent jobs. Thinking about Mac, I’m grateful I don’t have to wake up too early, I can wake up naturally about 7am, mostly from my pets. My jobs have been lower paying, but I chose employment close to my home with only a 5 minute commute to keep the stress down. Often I do need to work later in the day, ending at 7pm-11pm, but am able to go to sleep within 2 hours of getting home, which is great as I mostly had sleep onset issues. I think if I were in Mac’s situation about having to wake up to an alarm with strict time limits, I may not have improved as much.
I had been using Ambien to help with sleep onset, but was very uncomfortable taking it. I decided to just accept that I needed Ambien and did not worry about any addiction and so forth. I wanted to be gentle with my body, and after having sleep deprivation for so long, I thought I might be better for focus on getting sufficient sleep. I practice good sleep hygiene and took 1/2 Ambien a night for 7-10 nights. I was sleeping well, 6-9 hours night. Then I took 1/4 Ambien a night for almost a month. I don’t think it did much, more of a psychological support, but it worked and still slept very well. Its been about 3 weeks seldom using Ambien except for 2 nights. Still sleeping between 6-9 hours a night, and 1-2x a week still get into that light sleep mode.
My whole life I loved to read before bed, however I’m afraid that might be still be too stimulating, so most nights I fall asleep with my ear buds, usually listening to a monotone audible book, or a YouTube video (no music) and I have a regular sleep hypnosis/meditation I listen to. These have been good tools as often I feel I have not slept, but by waking up and looking at the timing on the book or video I can see I’ve been sleeping for at least an hour or more. If I feel awake, I tell myself it feels good just to rest in bed, and usually I fall asleep again within 10-60 minutes.
After discovering some very upsetting truths about my mother and upbringing, I studied Attachment Trauma, and learned that my brain and nervous system could have been rewired or damaged from childhood neglect. Just the acceptance and understanding of this was very helpful to just be able to relax in bed, and accept my physiology. I am not angry, just grateful to understand why the way my body reacts. The childhood issues probably doesn’t apply to most of you, but hopefully you can relate to the relaxing and acceptance part of this experience.
Sairana – being able to just relax in bed and conserve my energy for the next day was a huge break through for my improvement. Please have patience, you will slowly get better. Here’s to better sleep for everyone in 2021!
Hi Mac,
So sorry your work triggered the insomnia episodes again. But at least you know you are not completely broken as you were able to enjoy several weeks of restorative sleep! It may take much longer than I expected to be able to remove the anxiety associated with sleep too. I still live in a toxic household, but my response to it is getting better, milder. I’ve also had seasonal, on / off type jobs, and starting another tomorrow. Once I get the flow of the job schedule I do seem to sleep better. But after it ends, then sleep issues start again, probably because my mind is more focused on the home environment and obtaining job training while on break.
I was doing very well the end of August into most of September, and for 3 weeks in a row slept about 8.5 hours a night, that is more hours than before insomnia. I was feeling fantastic! Then my job ended, and with the time off I probably pushed myself too much cleaning and organizing things around the house one day and really injured/inflammed my neck. The pain, nausea and headache associated with the injury lasted 3 days, it was difficult to sleep and it caused a relapse for 3 weeks. Only the last couple nights have I been to relax for sleep again. Hope your ability to relax improves day by day, and your “bad phases” become shorter and shorter.
Hi Rabbit,
I’ve struggled with sleep issues due to hormones for probably 15 years. I’m in my late 50’s now. From drenching night sweats to just not sleeping well. I went on HRT about 5 years ago and that helped about 50%. I also have chronic pain which I don’t understand, I am very healthy and get lots of exercise (but don’t overdo it to create more pain). It is very painful to roll over in bed and change positions even with my memory foam topper.
Just writing to let you know you are not alone. I’m on this forum due to chronic insomnia caused by a medication reaction and usually post in the ACT forum. That is based on The Sleep Book by Guy Meadows which is very helpful, along with the general resources on this website about sleep hygiene and stimulus control.
Hi Everyone,
I’m just checking in since it’s been about a year since starting ACT. I’m still in the pattern of having about 3 good weeks then having a bit of a relapse. However this last relapse lasting almost 3 weeks was milder. I can often fall asleep, but for the 1st hour my sleep was very light, and then waking up and not being able to fall asleep again. However on my worst night, I still slept 4 hours, compared to last year which would have been zero. On some nights when I’m struggling I still take an Ambien, but since I’ve made the choice to be much more relaxed and accepting about taking Ambien, I only need 1/2 of one, which is probably more psychological than the meds actually working since its a pretty small dose. I still do guided meditation before bed, but am choosing shorter ones, about 20 minutes and as recommeded by Odinsky, listening to the audiobook, Power of Now. I read the physical book many years ago but couldn’t grasp the concept. It makes more sense now, and ironically, the tone and the pace of the book often puts me to sleep so I’ll have to re-listen during the day for the chapters I’ve missed.I didn’t realize how my present thoughts are often based in the future. I have new doctor who did not dismiss my insomnia which is a relief, and my over energy and mental clarity is so much better compared to a year ago. All the best to everyone out there, and have patience, you will improve!
Mike – I think you are doing great, at least you are aware you are struggling! For me sometimes I can’t do anything about it (struggling). I don’t feel I have anxiety or depression, I just know I am struggling, but putting a name on it helps me so much, then I can deal with it better.
I was reading a medical article today about neck pain, and there were a couple of paragraphs on how it can interfere with sleep, mentioning a sleep assessment for sleep impairment. I found the terminology in the article interesting. Insomnia was not used. As I’ve written before, I don’t feel the medical profession or even family members take the condition of chronic insomnia as seriously as they should.
So if any of you out there are thinking about seeing a doctor, maybe using these terms will make you more credible. “Sleep Deprivation” ( getting less than 6 hours of sleep per night) or “Serious Sleep Impairment” (getting less than 4 hours of sleep per night).
Hi Mike – FYI, I’ve been trying to practice ACT for almost 1 year. Just be patient with the process. I had many setbacks, but I keep trying. At first I found myself focusing on mindfulness too much at bedtime, and what Deb mentioned if you are thinking about that, well then your mind is active and you won’t sleep. So there would be nights when i wouldn’t sleep at all, then the next night I’d sleep for 7 hours, then the following night no sleep, etc, a pattern for a short time. But by relaxing in bed I did have more daytime energy, which was a huge benefit for me. I found practicing mindfulness during the day rather than before bed was helpful. Also listening to guided meditiations, there are many apps and videos on YouTube. One of my favorites sources if from the Mindful Movement. Due to Covid regulations, this is probably not available, but I found acupuncture helped reduce some of my anxiety.
Odinsky – I’m so happy you are able to sleep better, and turned a negative experience into something beneficial you can use for life! Mindfulness and acceptance have helped me quite a bit too. Yesterday I was having a skin treatment that can be painful and usually recommend taking a Norco and Valium before treatment. There was a glitch at the pharmacy so I didn’t get the Valium and just started with 1 Norco. During the procedure I practiced mindfulness techniques, had little pain and didn’t need to stop and take a break like most patients do. The nurse said I was her first patient who stayed so calm, and had no anxiety during treatment, she finished 30 minutes early. I know what you mean by being able to find benefits sitting at a traffic light, for me just relaxing and maybe looking at the beautiful green tree colors against the sky which has different shades of blue throughout the day.
This week has been bad, however I’d say for the last month I sleep good about 3/4 of the time, and 2-3 months ago I slept OK 2/3 of the time. I’ve been intentionally going to bed earlier, turning off the TV earlier and often getting up to 9 hours of sleep some nights. My schedule changed this week, my seasonal job was over, my home life is kind of toxic, so I have to make some adjustments, but very confident I’ll get back to sleeping better. Thanks for your update, and so glad you mentioned the Tolle book! I randomly read something of his yesterday and thought of readiing some more and after reading your post, will definitely try the audio book!
Hi Steve,
It’s so good to hear from you! I’m so glad you decided to get a 2nd opinion from another neurologist. I wanted to mind my own business and didn’t say anything when I felt your 1st neurologist didn’t do for you what my daughter’s neurologists did for her as far as testing and so forth. At least now you know what the real problem is and this information should help with the healing process. As you may remember my condition started as a result of a medication reaction, I’m realizing now how much damage it did to my nervous system. All of this takes a long time to heal. You may have read I had shingles the 1st of May, and although the pain and rash diminished and was tolerable 4 weeks after the outbreak, the nerve path along my lumbar region to my upper leg still has not healed and there are weird sensations, but they don’t affect my day to day activities.
I hope your new doctor can help you with your headaches and eye strain. And again its so good of you to write as other people may be suffering from insomnia or other conditions that need further investigation, and let people know to follow their instincts, and not just take the condition of insomnia lightly as some doctors do.
I am mostly sleeping longer and deeper, but seem to have a relapse or setback for 1-3 days about every 12 days or so. But I feel so much better, thinking better and maybe even looking more refreshed! I’ll be praying that you will experience continued improvement too!
Have your tried listening to guided meditations? The are apps on your phone for that and some nice YouTube channels for that. This has helped me, but just so you know it will take time and you probably need to determine the root cause of anxiety in order for your sleep anxiety to improve. CBT and ACT can help many conditions.
There are good resources on this website for CBT and Stimulus control under “Resources”. You can try starting here. Ask your doctor why he is prescribing ativan and ask for a tapering off schedule if you wish to stop. Ativan is not in the drug classification of a sleeping pill, but is used for anxiety. It stays in your system a while and has a half life of 12 hours. Another type of medication is a sedative/hypnotic which is a sleeping pill, one type is Ambien/zolpidem. It is just used for sleep and has a shorter half life of 3 hours. Both can be addicting, and generally for short-term use.
It is terrible when your mind cannot turn off, most of us here truly understand that. It is not the end of the world if you miss a nights sleep although I know the next day is awful, but you will survive. Hopefully after the 24th you will be able to make better adjustments to your medications and hopefully minimize them. And I hope you can start a gentle approach to your insomnia with Stimulus control and CBT.
IMO you should listen to your wife, be gentle with yourself and work on resolving your underlying anxiety. Stay hopeful and have patience. Studies have shown that it takes at least 8 weeks for mindfulness to start changing your brain. I had a sleep study done last year which showed I stayed in the light sleep stage longer than normal. My doctor said this is very common with insomnia. It sounds like you have this too and it is so frustrating. My doctor told me to just tell myself I’m in the light sleep stage, try to relax and go back to sleep. Sometimes this worked, but not always. I am finally able to sleep deeply sooner which has taken 10-11 months.
This is from the Sleep School website using their methods:
How long will it take me to recover?The results of our 2015 in-house clinical study showed that significant improvements across a wide range of sleep measures occurred within just 5 weeks, including a 50% reduction in self-perceived insomnia severity. Further significant improvements were then reported at 10 weeks, and then at 6 and 12 months, all of which culminated in 86% of the participants becoming ‘normal sleepers’, despite previously suffering from insomnia for over two decades.
Odinsky – Your question about sleeping or not sleeping with your spouse – that is a tough one as your spouse might take your actions as a rejection to her rather than a method of self-healing for you. Many happily married couples sleep separately due to snoring, the noise of CPAP, or even work schedules. I personally wish I had the luxury of an extra bedroom, if so I would make it my own. but marriage is not good and I am not is the financial position to separate and I also obligations to aid a disabled family member.
Body aches – Yes, for a few months last year I had chronic body aches, especially in my larger leg muscles, they felt so heavy when walking. At that time I was only getting about 2-3 hours sleep per night, sometimes zero sleep nights. I also lost my appetite. As for social plans, I know with insomnia you are supposed to live your life as normal as possible, but for some of us we get that special event insomnia. If there is a special occasion coming up, I think it is OK to take a sleep aid the night before.
I know you are so fatigued and desperate to feel better you want a quick fix to start sleeping better and think sleep restriction will help. For me, that brings on extra anxiety. A sleep window is OK, but make it 7-8 hours, give your body a chance to restore itself. Also for me, one of the benefits of ACT and trying to stay calm in bed is that it gave me more daytime energy even if I didn’t sleep. There are some nights I’d get out of bed to re-set myself, I’d walk in the dark, go in the kitchen to get some water or herbal tea, then sit in the living room quietly for 15-20 minutes and I remember so many times rubbing my muscles because they ached so much! I didn’t always sleep after that, but it calmed me down. I recently had depression for 3-4 weeks before being aware of it. Once I was aware of it, I was able to change my perspective and then quickly got out of it. ACT can be used for all situations in life, not just sleep. It seems your primary anxiety is from your move and new environment, can you use ACT to accept those feelings and pressures? Hang in there, its been such a long process for me and I seem to relapse every 7-10 days and then have 3 nights of bad sleep, but when I sleep now its getting deeper and a bit longer, almost 7hours. I feel our nervous systems are shot and we have to be gentle with ourselves to help with healing.
Hi Chen – Trying to reduce my insomnia has been a long process, just over a year. Mine was caused by a medication messing up my nervous system and having a double dose of anxiety due to living with a very annoying person. You have good questions and just keep practicing. Healing is a long, slow process but I am seeing progress for about 10-14 days then I’ll have set back for a few days, and the cycle starts again. After recently taking a different medication that gave me insomnia and upset my nervous system, I just have to accept I have a very sensitive nervous system, I don’t know if it is genetics or from environment or both, but I find ACT is a gentle approach to help with sleep.
What especially is helping me is practicing mindfulness during the day – doing the breathing exercises in the Sleep Book or doing mindful walking when I’m out with my dog, clearing my head and listening to all the sounds: the different birds and their distances in relationship to me, my dog’s panting, the crunch of gravel underneath my feet, it all becomes like a symphony. There are apps you can download on your phone like Calm or Insight timer and I like the guided meditations from the Mindful Movement. They talk about “space” too and use an example when you breathe, there is a pause between exhale and inhale and that pause can be like a pause between thoughts or you and your thoughts. Intellectually I understand the “space” right away but actually putting it into practice took a long time.
